


Young and Menace

by unpheenix



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, BAMF Obi-Wan Kenobi, Friends to Lovers, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Jealousy, M/M, Master Anakin Skywalker, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Pining, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Role Reversal, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, The World Between Worlds (Star Wars), Young Obi-Wan Kenobi, reverse au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:09:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 47,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27701849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unpheenix/pseuds/unpheenix
Summary: Anakin Skywalker is denied the rank of master by the Jedi Council. Desperate to save Padme and running out of options, he goes to the Jedi Temple Archives in search of any information that could potentially help him. While in the archives, Anakin comes across a mysterious holocron, hidden away as if it were never meant to be found. After activating the holocron, Anakin is sent back in time where he meets Qui-Gon Jinn, his would be master if not for his untimely death, and Qui-Gon's very rebellious Padawan, the young and unorthodox Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Mace Windu, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 438
Kudos: 1028





	1. In which Anakin is sent back in time

**Author's Note:**

> I'm happy to finally have this fic underway! As always, thank you for your support and I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

_"You may sit on this council, but we do not grant you the rank of master."_

Mace Windu's words bounced around Anakin's brain like a rogue blaster bolt. He turned them over and over till he was frothing at the mouth, storming down the halls of the Jedi Temple. He couldn't explain why it angered him so much, though everything seemed to upset him as of late. It wasn't that Anakin wanted to be on the Council in the first place, that had been Chancellor Palpatine's idea, it was that if he were on the council and rightfully granted the rank of master, he would be able to access the Holocron Vault. The vault which potentially hosted the secret knowledge he needed in order to save Padme from her doomed fate. He hadn't always trusted his premonitions, not until his mother died, but now he didn't dare risk it. The guilt of letting his mother suffer for so long ate him alive and he couldn't bare to repeat the same mistake. He couldn't go to anyone about his dreams, though, his marriage to Padme was forbidden. Nobody on the council could possibly understand. Not even Obi-Wan. Especially not Obi-Wan. 

"Anakin! Anakin, stop!" 

The sound of his former masters voice behind him only served to further Anakin's anger, and he turned in a swirl of dark robes and black tabards. Obi-Wan had run after him, his own beige robes and dark cloak billowing in his wake. Anakin noted that he seemed rather frazzled, his once pretty copper hair was dulled by streaks of silver and left askew from the chase, and his old master appeared out of breath. Not quite as spritely as he used to be, Anakin was certain if they were to spar, he would be victorious. The arrogant thought made his lip twitch in a repressed smile, but it didn't last. For the most striking thing about Obi-Wan in recent years and in the moment was the exhaustion in his light blue eyes. They too had been dulled by the trials and tribulations of war, lacking the playfulness Anakin was accustomed to. The sight of them extinguished Anakin's boiling rage and he quickly turned away.

"Anakin, what in the Galaxies- Why did you storm off like that?" Obi-Wan asks, and he tried to reinforce those words with his masterly and admonishing tone. The tone which told Anakin that he wasn't good enough and perhaps never would be. Anakin frowned, knowing that wasn't what Obi-Wan meant. He only wanted to justify his anger and desperation.

"You don't understand, Obi-Wan." He said, still unable to meet his eyes.

The older man scoffs, making Anakin's gaze shoot up.

" _Anakin_ ," He says, in that particular way where he draws out the 'Ah' sound in the beginning, "The council will grant you the rank of master, in time, you just have to be patient."

In any other circumstances, his words might have been comforting, but Anakin couldn't help but feel more desperate at the admission. _Why couldn't the Council grant him the title now?_ , "Can't you speak to them, Obi-Wan?" he begs, "I- You know I'm ready, don't you?"

"The council will not take my opinion without a grain of salt, Anakin." The older man sighs heavily, "They think that I am biased, and they are right." 

Anakin pressed his lips together and looks away again, out one of the many windows overlooking the Senate District and towards the golden sun setting over the horizon. Obi-Wan watches him cautiously, folding his hands together under the sleeves of his cloak.

"Anakin-" He says it slowly, betraying everything Anakin is certain he's feeling, "May I ask why you're so upset by this? If you're unsure of your abilities-"

"Of course I'm sure of my abilities!" Anakin snaps, "They call me the Chosen One for Force sakes, and yet they don't acknowledge me! They don't trust me or respect my ability! They- They think I'm dangerous!" he seethes.

Obi-Wan listens to him patiently, waiting for him to finish his tirade before trying again; "Do you really believe that, Anakin?"

"You don't know anything, Master." He bites out, "Sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing here." 

"Anakin-" Obi-Wan tries again, but Anakin cuts him off.

"I'm going." 

"Anakin, wait!"

It was already too late, Anakin was vanishing down the corridor, weaving between groups of initiates as they are led to their lessons by the crechemasters. On his way down the stairs he bumped into Aayla, and the blue twi'lek is quick to murmur an apology. Anakin remembered, vaguely, that she is about to ship off on a campaign to Felucia. He apologizes in haste, wishing her good luck before he continues on his way, going for the lift that would take him to the Archives. 

Once in the elevator, he repeatedly pushes the down button, grumbling when the door doesn't immediately close. He needs to get away, before Obi-Wan can catch up and corner him into another conversation about his feelings. That was the last thing Anakin wanted to deal with. From the corner of his eye, he sees Obi-Wan bustling down the stairs. Luckily, his old master was quite popular. Meaning anyone who knows him on an even elementary level is stopping him to chat. Anakin wants to laugh at the way Obi-Wan forces himself to smile, politely trying to escape the conversations he is roped into. The doors to the lift finally close and Anakin is able to breath a sigh of relief. He never used to spend time in the Archives, but after Ahsoka left and his nightmares started again, he found himself surrounded by holocrons and datapads more often than not. He needed the distraction, and while working on droids and starships usually did the trick, he didn't feel like he was fixing anything that mattered. Sometimes he would fall asleep in a pile of datapads, only to be woken by Jocasta shooing him off to bed. Those nights were the worst. He would return to his dormitory if Padme was away and toss around in his sleep, haunted by the image of his wife dying in childbirth.

The memory brings with it a wave of anxiety that he tries to shake, but it sticks and follows him into the Archives when the door's slide open. Anakin steps onto the floor, making his way around the information counsels and shelves till he reaches the last section he has yet to explore. It's at the very back of the Archive, and while the padawans are typically quite diligent when assigned cleaning duty, this corner hadn't been dusted in what seemed like centuries. Anakin had discovered it the last time he was in the Archive, and when he asked Jocosta about it, the old woman gave him a peculiar look before sending him out of the Archives for what she called some "well needed rest." The datapads sat in their filth, some Anakin wasn't sure even worked anymore. After trying out a few of them, which provided him with information on hyperspace lanes and Wellsprings of the Force, he noticed a holocron tucked at the very back of the shelf.

Anakin reached to the back of the shelf and brought the device out, turning it over in his palm thoughtfully. The holocron was triangular in shape, unlike the usual square holocrons he had seen countless other times. The metal was black and its body was covered in white lines and circles. Anakin thought it looked something like the Sith Temple on Malachor. He gets the sense that this holocron wasn't where it was supposed to be, but decides to crack it open anyway before he handed it off to Jocasta. Taking a moment to center himself, he focused his attention to the holocron, brushing against its force signature with his own, coaxing it to open and share its secrets.

At first, nothing really happened. Then, he started to hear whispering, as if several dozen conversations were happening all at once. Before he could stop it, the holocron opened in a brilliant and burning white light. When Anakin tried to throw it away, it stuck to him like glue. As he started to panic, he was thrown against the wall as the light from the holocron engulfed him completely, silencing his desperate shouts for help.

As Anakin opened his eyes, he found himself exactly where he was moments ago, the holocron nowhere to be seen. Taking a moment to reestablish his surroundings, it occurred to him that the shelves weren't nearly as full as they were when he last checked and the dust which had covered what remained was recently swept away. Still trying to get a grip on his surroundings, he heard people running towards his location. Figuring he must have made a lot of noise, Anakin awkwardly makes his way towards the center of the Archive only to be greeted by the blade of a familiar purple lightsaber. Only this time, it's wielder appeared decades younger.

When Anakin was first brought to the Jedi Temple, he assumed that Mace Windu had always been bald. It became very apparent to him now that that was not the case. The Jedi master stood before him in a set of dark tunics, black hair in tight locs at the top of his head, the sides artfully shaved with an intricate pattern. His face was youthful, and lacked the frown lines and judgement Anakin had become so familiar with.

"Master Windu, what in the Galaxies are you waving your saber around for?"

The voice was something Anakin hadn't expected to ever hear again. Looking passed Master Windu's darkened face, he is greeted by a man of incredible height and stature. The mans dusty brown hair was tied away from his face and he wore an expression of curiosity and interest. Anakin recognized him immediately and felt his stomach leap into his throat.

"Master Jinn?"


	2. in which Anakin is brought before the Council

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update came to me quickly and I couldn't wait to share it! I hope you enjoy reading! :)

Qui-Gon arched his brow and moved to stand by Mace's side. He seemed relaxed, almost unbothered by Anakin's presence. The tall master gently put his hand on Master Windu's arm. Master Windu glanced to him, his eyes hard and uncertain, before lowering his blade.

"You know me?" Qui-Gon asks curiously.

"I do, or, I know of you at least." Anakin says, his mind trying to piece together what he was seeing. He could feel the masters presence in the force so clearly, it was impossible for this to be a dream.

"Curious, I'm sure that I would remember someone with a face like yours." Qui-Gon mused, his burly arms folding over his chest, "You seem nervous, my friend, you should **relax.** "

Anakin blinked, his eyes crossing at the sudden and powerful wave of suggestion pushing at him through the Force. It was enough to make his knees buckle and he felt himself falling forward, caught in the arms of Master Windu, who cursed under his breath.

"Master Jinn, what do you think you're doing?" The dark master hissed, struggling a bit to support the entirety of Anakin's weight.

"He looked like a frightened womp rat, I was only calming him down." Qui-Gon huffed defensively, "He says he knows me, too. And look, he's wearing Jedi robes."

Master Windu frowns, shifting Anakin's weight and allowing him to lean on his side. Anakin's mind is still full of static and he couldn't quite put two thoughts together. It was as if he were walking the line of consciousness, on the edge of sleep. He hadn't ever experienced a mind trick before, or at least one that had worked on him. He wondered if his shields had diminished due to his nightmares and lack of sleep. He couldn't remember a night that he hadn't been restless and there couldn't be another explanation as to how the trick had worked on him. 

"Just because he's dressed like a Jedi doesn't mean he is one. Besides, I've never seen a Jedi dressed in such dark colors. He looks more like a Sith to me." As Master Windu speaks, several temple guards approach them from the entrance of the Archive. Anakin is just barely able to register the face of a younger Jocasta Nu, standing defensively in front of a small group of initiates, her saber drawn and her eyes wary. 

"I'm not a Sith." Anakin manages to slur out, just as the temple guards yank him up by his arms, "My name is Anakin Skywalker, I'm a knight of the Jedi order!"

Master Windu and Qui-Gon exchange a look, Qui-Gon's arms still folded over his chest, "I find that hard to believe. I don't know of any Jedi by the name Anakin Skywalker."

Anakin feels his heart plummet in despair and he wants desperately to defend himself but it was still so difficult to think. He struggled against the temple guards, his movements sluggish and uncoordinated before he gave up, shaking his head and glaring in irritation.

"We'll bring him before the Council." Master Windu says, watching him with his dark eyes and deactivating his saber, before gesturing for the temple guards to follow him. 

###

Anakin stood before the council, warily eyeing each of its members. The staticky remnants of Qui-Gon's Force suggestion buzz around his head, though he had mostly shaken it off. He vaguely remembered Obi-Wan talking about Qui-Gon's fondness for mind tricks. _"He'd use them whenever he got the chance. That's why he was called the Maverick, not the Negotiator."_ Anakin shook his head, banishing the thoughts as he continued to scan the circle of masters, some he recognized, Master Yoda, Master Windu, Master Ti, Master Koth, and some he didn't recognize or who no longer served, namely Master Billaba, who stared at him with sharp eyes and pursed lips. Anakin was reminded of the time when he was a padawan, catching sight of her floating in stasis while the world progressed around her in the Halls of Healing. 

Standing beside him was Qui-Gon, the older Jedi held his hands behind his back, his chin tilted up almost defiantly. He was the perfect picture of stoicism and serenity, and exactly as Anakin remembered him. Anakin tried to mimic his posture, though he couldn't help but fidget. He was never quite sure of himself in the way that other members of the order seemed to be, and it definitely showed when he stood beside someone as impressive as Qui-Gon. 

Master Yoda cleared his throat, drawing the rooms attention before speaking, "A Jedi, you are?" 

"Yes, Master." Anakin replies, his voice felt like syrup stuck in his throat, and he was hyper aware of all the eyes focused on him.

Master Billaba leaned forward in her seat; "But we do not know you. How could you possibly be a Jedi?"

Anakin shifted slightly on his heels, wondering how much of the truth he could share without sounding insane. It didn't help that he had been so keyed up from his meeting with the council that morning, which had ended rather poorly in Anakin's opinion. A different council with different members and different rules, though he suspected that the rules hadn't changed too much. 

"I don't know how to explain it to you," Anakin says carefully, "I don't understand it myself, but I am a Jedi. I can prove that much to you." 

Holding his hands up so that the members of the council could see them, he slowly reached down and took the lightsaber from his belt, confidently activating the blade. He could sense the masters become uneasy, their anxieties bleeding into the Force. The only ones who seem unaffected were Master Yoda and Qui-Gon, who continued to watch with intrigue and delight, respectively. Anakin took a moment to revel in their awe before speaking again.

"This is my lightsaber, I constructed it myself with a kyber crystal collected from the planet Ilum." Anakin deactivated the saber and offered it to Qui-Gon, who took it in his hand, weighing it curiously. 

"This saber has seen combat." The master comments, his cerulean eyes flicking to Anakin.

"It has been with me on many missions." Anakin says proudly. 

Master Windu frowned deeply, his hands pressed together in front of his lips, "Well then, Skywalker, since you claim to be a Jedi, could you recite the Code for us?" 

Anakin chewed his lip, pulling through his memories in the creche before speaking, "There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force." Anakin finishes the mantra with a nod of his head, then stops to think for a moment, "Alternatively, emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet the Force." 

Master Billaba arched her brow once he finished, glancing to Master Windu. They share a look that Anakin couldn't define before schooling their features and returning their attention to the wayward Jedi before them. 

"Anyone can recite the code." Master Koth says, addressing the other members of the Council, "And it's not unheard of for Jedi lightsabers to be stolen and sold on the black market."

Anakin frowned, feeling the force curdle uncomfortably around him, "I assure you that the saber is mine. I can take it apart and put it back together with my eyes closed if you want."

The council whispered amongst themselves, casting him off looks that make his skin crawl with discomfort. It reminded him of when he was first brought before the Council, a wide eyed and freshly autonomous sentient, thrust into a world full of judging and unfriendly eyes. For a moment, he found himself wishing that Obi-Wan were with him. Instead, his attention snapped to Master Yoda who tapped his grimer stick on the floor in an attempt to restore order to the room.

"Know my name, do you?" The green master asked, leaning forward and resting his chin on his stick.

"Of course," Anakin said indignantly, "You're master Yoda, Grand Master of the Jedi Order, Count Dooku was your Padawan." 

The room fell into a sudden hush, the Force itself becoming quiet and withdrawn. Anakin sucked in a short breath, once again hyper aware of everything around him, his breathing, the slight movements of the masters as they shifted uncomfortably in their chairs.

Master Yoda hummed thoughtfully, "Know who Dooku's padawan is, do you?"

"That would be Master Jinn." Anakin says, chewing his lip before adding, "And Master Jinn's Padawan is Obi-Wan Kenobi." 

Qui-Gon's eyes are on him now, his expression is blank and his presence in the Force unreadable. Seeming to come to some sort of conclusion, he turns to address the rest of the Council, "When Master Windu and I encountered Anakin in the Archive, he recognized me, though I don't recall ever meeting him. While I don't know that he can be trusted, I see no reason that we can't at least hear him out and give him a chance to prove himself." 

"A darkness, in his heart, there is. Fear, and anger too." Master Yoda comments, closing his eyes and tilting his head from side to side as if deliberating, "Hear you out, the Council will. A test, you will be given. Prove yourself, you must, young Skywalker." 

Anakin couldn't help but feel relieved, offering the green master a respectful bow, "Thank you, Master Yoda." 

"Yes, yes," Master Yoda hummed again, "If a Jedi, you are, what rank do you hold?"

"Oh, sorry- I should have-" He shook his head and awkwardly rubbed his arm, fidgeting with the glove that concealed his mechno arm, "I'm a Jedi Knight." 

"You're awfully young to be a knight." Master Windu comments, "At what age did you take the trials?"

"I was 20." Anakin replies, somewhat of a half truth considering he hadn't actually taken the trials. His answer caused another bout of chatter around the room, making him look around curiously, "Is that odd?"

"To put it into perspective, Knight Skywalker, I took the trials when I was 30." Master Windu stated, cocking a brow at him, "So yes, I would say that 20 is an odd age to be knighted." 

Anakin blinked, "I wasn't aware." 

"Unusual, it is, but not unheard of." Master Yoda mused. 

"The council will discuss this further before deciding what your test shall be." Master Windu said finally, "Until then, we ask that you stay on the Temple grounds. You are free to wander until we call for you." 

Anakin nodded slowly, still fidgeting with his glove, "Of course, masters, ah- How will I be summoned?"

"Find you, we will." Master Yoda says, "Dismissed, you are." 

With that, Anakin and Qui-Gon left the council chambers, the door hissing shut behind them. Standing awkwardly in the hall, Qui-Gon returned Anakin's saber and offered him a cuff on the shoulder, nearly knocking him to the ground.

"They seem to like you." Qui-Gon comments, "Rare for them. They're usually much less enthusiastic."

"I'm aware, the council that I'm used to is not much different." Anakin murmured, clipping his saber back to his belt. He hadn't expected his day to go quite like this, nor had he expected to see Master Jinn alive and well. 

"Are you perhaps a different sect of Jedi? A Guardian of the Whills?" Qui-Gon asked, now that they were alone, he seemed to be overflowing with curious inquiry.

"I assure you I am a normal member of the Jedi Order." Anakin chuckled, "Ah- I do have a question for you, though."

"Whats that?" Qui-Gon asks, beginning to walk down the temple corridor. Anakin is quick to follow and struggles to keep up with his stride.

"Your padawan, Obi-Wan, is he around?" He asks, hoping desperately that he was.

"He should be meditating on the roof." Qui-Gon says wistfully, glancing to him over his shoulder, "Would you like to see him?"

"I would, but- you don't mean on the literal roof, do you?" Anakin asked, slowing to a stop.

Qui-Gon gave him a tired look that Anakin recognized meant he had been one hundred percent serious. 

Anakin cleared his throat, "Ah, okay, how do I get on the roof?"

###

It was much more complicated than Anakin had anticipated, but he managed, scaling the temple wall and pulling himself up onto its roof with a grunt. He took a second to catch his breath before rising to his feet. The first thing Anakin noticed was the smell of death sticks. The second thing he noticed was the form of a young man sat at the opposite end of the roof. He was sat with his back towards Anakin, his legs folded neatly with his hands rested palm up on the knees. The man had shaggy copper hair, a nerf tail poking underneath the choppy layers, and a padawan braid falling in front of his shoulder. The Force rippled around him, as if he were rising from still water and coming to the surface.

Exhaling slowly, the Padawan cracked his neck and got to his feet, stretching languidly. Anakin noticed that the young man was dressed only in his beige undertunic and leggings, his freckled arms bare and lightly burned from having been exposed to the sun for too long. After a moment, the padawan turned, a pair of sharp blue eyes finding him across the way. The padawan's lip curled into a curious smirk.

"Hello there," he offered casually, "can I help you with something, _Master?_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you'd like, you can find me on Tumblr under the same username!


	3. in which Anakin meets Obi-Wan for the first time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gasp* an update! Hope you guys enjoy reading!

The padawan Obi-Wan tilted his head to the side questioningly when he didn't respond. Anakin watched him as he finished stretching out his limbs, bending at the waist to touch his toes. Physically, this Obi-Wan didn't look much younger than the first time Anakin had met him. He was maybe in his late teens or early twenties. He appeared much more rakish than Anakin remembered him, but through the Force, Anakin knew that this was his Obi-Wan. When the young Jedi straightened himself back out, Anakin managed to pull himself back to reality, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"No, I just came up to get some air."

 _Dumbass_ , Anakin kicked himself at the lame excuse, watching Obi-Wan arch his brow before shrugging.

"Be my guest." The padawan said, seemingly unfazed by Anakin's own awkwardness as he sauntered forward. Anakin side stepped out of his way and Obi-Wan offered a smile, leaning into his space, "Lighters underneath the ledge, make sure to sweep up your ashes when you're done." 

With that, the young Jedi vanished down the side of the temple, expertly sliding down the slanted wall and landing gracefully on the platform below. Anakin was left alone after that, standing stupefied on the roof of the Jedi temple. He looked around for a moment before going to where Obi-Wan had been sitting, falling into a crouch and feeling under the ledge. Sure enough, a lighter had been stashed between one of the cracks. It was a Mandalorian oil lighter, a novelty made out of what Anakin could only guess was beskar. He stayed turning the lighter over in his hand for awhile, till the sun began dipping below the horizon and the air began to cool. He shuddered at the chill, never having really shed his desert skin. He put the lighter back into its little hiding place and made his way down the temple wall, nearly landing on one of the guards as he did.

"Sorry, sorry." He apologized quickly. The guard stared at him in response, looking up to the roof, before looking back at him and shaking his head. 

Anakin frowned as the guard walked past him, continuing on his route around the temples perimeter. Once he was out of sight, Anakin sniffed at his robes, confirming that they didn't smell bad. He wondered if the scent of death sticks on the roof managed to cling to him, but it didn't seem like that was the case. He straitened up his tabards and slipped inside the building, making his way down the corridor and heading in the direction of the dining hall.

"Knight Skywalker." 

Hearing his name made him jump, and he turned to see Master Billaba waving to him down the way. He paused and let her catch up, noticing the nervous smile touching her lips.

"Master Billaba." He greeted, offering her a small bow before he began walking again.

"You know my name too," She said, "I didn't even introduce myself."

Anakin chuckled a bit, "How could I not know your name? You were Master Windu's Padawan, right?" 

Master Billaba beamed up to him, an expression full of pride. Anakin hadn't expected that. Whenever he did a lesson with Master Windu, it always ended with him getting scolded for not concentrating enough or for being too emotional. Maybe he was just a poor student. It hadn't helped that he was so gifted in the Force, meaning he didn't have to try very hard to grasp the concepts being taught to him.

"I was, yes." She said, matching his pace as they walked, "He was a great master, very wise and patient. Sometimes, though, I wish I could have been taught by someone like Master Jinn. He does things differently than other Jedi."

"He's called The Maverick, isn't he?" Anakin asks, reaching the dining hall and scanning the room, looking for other familiar faces.

"Yes, which is why he's so lucky to have Obi-Wan as his padawan. It's good to have a student who is able to ground their master and keep them from being too off the walls. Did you know that he turned down a seat on the council to continue training him?" Master Billaba asked, making her way to the counter and getting herself a plate, picking out an assortment of meats and vegetables and piling them up.

Anakin couldn't help but gape at the food, he hadn't seen such a variety at the temple since he was a padawan himself, before the Clone Wars started, "No, I guess I didn't know that." he murmured, grabbing himself a plate.

"It's true! They always butted heads, you know, never quite as in sync as other masters and padawans seemed to be. The Council thought it was funny. Obi-Wan always had to get Qui-Gon out of trouble, and he gets himself in trouble quite often, you know? Trusting too much in the living Force, if you ask me. I suppose it was the living Force that told him to stick it out, and if you ask me, it was entirely worth it on Qui-Gon's end." Master Billaba seemed perfectly content running the entire conversation, so Anakin let her speak while he just listened.

It was something Anakin wasn't used to, having a normal conversation with another Jedi. When he was a padawan, Aayla would sometimes seek him out and they would chat while he tinkered with some spare parts or a busted up droid. Other than that, the only other people he talked to frequently were Obi-Wan and Chancellor Palpatine. When he married Padme, they would talk as often as possible, and when Ahsoka became his Padawan they would spend hours talking about starships and droid schematics. Rex and the 501st filled the remaining empty space, so he didn't feel a need to talk to the other members of the Jedi Order. He didn't want to, either. They never really understood him, anyways.

"Knight Skywalker, are you listening to me?" Master Billaba was poking his shoulder, arching her brow at him.

"Sorry, I was thinking about something." Anakin chuckled awkwardly, sitting beside her at one of the tables. He noticed a few people staring at him, whispering. He felt the same uneasiness he felt when he was a padawan, overhearing the other younglings whisper about him. The slave children on Tattooine had been cruel. The other younglings at the temple hadn't been much better.

"You must think a lot." Master Billaba mused, getting comfortable in her seat before diving into her meal, "Don't think, feel. Trust your instincts. If you think too much, you won't be able to sleep at night."

Anakin scoffed, "Did Master Windu teach you that?" 

"No, that bit of advice comes from your truly." Master Billaba laughed, "Mace is always thinking. Which is why he can't sleep and why he's always grouchy." 

That made Anakin laugh. He couldn't imagine Master Windu being anything but grouchy, but hadn't stopped to consider why that was. When he laughed, Master Billaba smiled triumphantly, forking up her food and stuffing it in her mouth. The chatter made him feel like he really was just another Jedi. It came to his attention that nobody here knew him as "The Chosen One" destined to bring balance to the Force. Nobody knew him as the slave boy from Tattooine. Nobody _knew_ he was different. 

With the conversation stalled, they ate in some companionable form of silence. Anakin tried to relax as he did, but against Master Billaba's expert advice, couldn't help himself from thinking and worrying about the future, where he was supposed to be. He wondered if he had vanished from his own time in general, if time had stopped completely or continued to move, if he was even part of his own time anymore. He wondered about Padme, and Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka. He wondered how they were doing on Mandalore, if they managed to find Maul. He wondered if Grievous had been captured. He wondered if Padme was alright. The thought made his stomach turn and he pushed his plate away, feeling suddenly numb and hollow. Master Billaba looked to him, concern drawn all over her face.

"Are you alright, Knight Skywalker?" 

"Yea, I just-" Anakin offered a weak laugh, rubbing his eye, "I was just thinking." 

###

That night, Anakin was offered his own private room to sleep. Master Billaba insisted that he come find her if he needed anything. Anakin assured her that he would, and when she left, he unrolled the futon he had been given onto the floor, getting himself situated before attempting to fall asleep. For the first night in months, sleep came to him almost immediately, and he had no dreams of Padme dying or the never ending war. When he woke the next morning he realized he had slept through the rising bells and could barely move from the weight of his sleep. The sound that woke him was a rapid knocking at his door, which he answered with a grumbling "enter."

The door hissed open and when he rolled his head to the side and squinted to see who it was he nearly jumped out of his skin. The padawan Obi-Wan stood leaning against the door frame, smirking in amusement at the sight of Anakin clearly coming out of what could have been the deepest sleep of his adult life.

"What in Sith Hells are you doing here?" Anakin managed to get out, pushing himself up with uncoordinated and sluggish limbs.

Obi-Wan shrugged, walking into his room and looking around curiously, "I was told to come wake you up, _Master Skywalker._ "

Anakin rubbed his eyes, frowning at the sound of Obi-Wan addressing him as "master." It didn't sound right with his voice, the lilting Coruscanti accent shaping his name beautifully behind it.

"Don't call me that." He said finally, "Just Anakin is fine."

Obi-Wan snorted, "I didn't realize how fast we were moving." 

Anakin continued rubbing his face before pausing, "What?" He looked at Obi-Wan but the padawan had moved away from the entrance, rifling through the things in the room.

"Obi-Wan, what did you just say?"

"Nothing, _Master_." Obi-Wan said innocently.

"I told you not to call me that." Anakin grunted, stretching out his limbs and shaking his head. He must have imagined it. Obi-Wan would never say something like that.

"What's this?" he heard Obi-Wan ask and turned to see the padawan holding his comm and inspecting it curiously.

"Give me that!"

Anakin wasn't sure exactly what he intended to do. One moment he was on his feet and the next Obi-Wan had him wrestled to the floor and pinned on his back. The padawan huffed indignantly, blowing the stray hair out of his face.

"What is it?" Obi-Wan asked, still holding the comm in his hand, just out of Anakin's reach.

"You know what it is, it's a commlink, now give it to me." Anakin said, trying to grab it while Obi-Wan held it further away.

"I've never seen a comm look like this before. Where'd you get it?" 

Anakin frowned, registering what Obi-Wan was meaning. His commlink was military issue, the newest model available. Anakin had the sneaking suspicion that the holocron he came across in the Archive had sent him back in time. How, he didn't know. Why, he didn't know that either. The only instance he could have compared it to was when he, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka were trapped on Mortis, but he wasn't even sure that had happened. They had all chalked it up to a gas leak or hysteria from exhaustion. But what if it really did happen?

"A pawn shop in the Teth system. Satisfied?" Anakin huffed, deciding to keep his revelations to himself for now. 

"Not really." Obi-Wan hummed, dropping the commlink on Anakin's chest and rolling off him and to his feet. 

Anakin sat up and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to brush out the knots in his curls as he pocketed his commlink. Obi-Wan continued to snoop around and Anakin watched him, wrapping himself up in the blanket and putting his head down. He wished he had been able to get more sleep.

"You're not going to find anything in here, you know?" Anakin grumbled, "I don't actually live in this room." 

Obi-Wan looked at him curiously, "You don't?"

"Nope." His lips popped at the end and Obi-Wan snorted at him.

"Then where do you live?"

"Not here. I'm usually deployed on the front." 

"The what?" 

_Kriff._

"That's slang, I'm talking about the Outer Rim."

"Huh... that's pretty wizard, Master Skywalker. Not a lot of Jedi go to the Outer Rim."

Anakin frowned at that, but didn't comment, going to to stand up and get dressed. 

"Right, well, I'm awake now, Padawan, so you can go." 

"You're not going to send your robes to the wash?" Obi-Wan asked, tilting his head to the side and smirking at him, "That cannot be sanitary." 

Anakin paused, staring at his worn outer tunic and giving it the smell test. Maybe the guard had been onto something yesterday.

"I'm assuming the laundry has a spare set of tunics I can borrow?" 

###

Anakin did not look good in beige. The way Obi-Wan was sniggering at him made that abundantly clear.

"That's enough, Obi-Wan" He grumbled, awkwardly adjusting the layers of his new set of tunics and observing himself in the fresher mirror. Obi-Wan, of course, had decided to tag along. 

"No, they look really good! They make you look more mature!" Obi-Wan snorted, arms folded over his chest. He himself was dressed in a similar set of tunics, only his suited him well while Anakin's just made him look like he spent too much time out in the Tattooine suns.

"Save it, will you?" Anakin huffed, glancing over to him, "Don't you have some sort of lesson you should be attending?"

"I do but I'm skipping. Master Windu will understand." Obi-Wan mused, rocking on his heels.

"I find that very hard to believe." Anakin returned, making his way to the door.

"He will if I tell him I'm testing out the mysterious Jedi Knight that magically appeared in the Archives." Obi-Wan said, following him on his way out.

"What do you mean by that?" 

"I'm asking if you want to spar, Master Skywalker." 

"It's Anakin, and I'd wipe the floor with you, so don't even bother." 

_Why was he here?_

Anakin hadn't meant to let Obi-Wan lead him to the training salle. He hadn't meant to strip off his fresh tabards and outer tunic and go through a round of basic stretches with his opponent, who, Anakin realized, wasn't that much younger than he was. Padawan Obi-Wan was a lot like the Obi-Wan Anakin was accustomed to, and was also a lot different in many ways. Anakin could see his old master in this young version of himself, the attitude and the stubbornness especially. He also had the unique talent of getting Anakin to do whatever he wanted, which was especially annoying right about now. 

"What style do you prefer, Master Skywalker?" Obi-Wan asked, finishing up his stretches and bouncing on his toes, working himself up. After Anakin gave him an exasperated look, Obi-Wan politely corrected himself, "My bad, I meant _Anakin_." 

"Thank you." Anakin huffed, finishing up his stretches as well and calling his saber to his hand, "I prefer Djem So."

"Really? I don't know anyone who uses Djem So." Obi-Wan said thoughtfully, "Suits you though."

Anakin couldn't help the blush that crept up the back of his neck. He tried to force down his fluster, but it didn't really work, "What about you, Obi-Wan? What style do you prefer?" _It's Soresu._ he told himself.

"Ataru. I'm also pretty comfortable with Jar'Kai."

_What?_

"I thought you'd prefer Soresu." Anakin commented, trying to regain his footing. _How was he going to fight Obi-Wan if he didn't fight like he always did with Anakin?_

"Soresu? That form is focused mainly on defense. I heard that if you master it, you'll be untouchable." Obi-Wan said, "It might be useful when I'm knighted and have to train a padawan who prefers to go heavy on the offense, but I don't think that's going to happen any time soon." 

Anakin stared at him for a long moment, "Huh, I guess I never thought of it that way." he murmured, activating his saber and twirling it idly.

"No? I feel like it's important for the master to compensate for their students." Obi-Wan mused, activating his own saber, "Master Jinn doesn't like to compensate. Did you know he kept me on basics until I was 17 years old?"

Anakin gaped at him, "17?" he asked and Obi-Wan nodded, "My padawan was proficient with Jar'Kai when she was 16, almost worthy of mastery. I mastered Djem So when I was 19."

"Wow, way to show off." Obi-Wan snorted, twirling his saber before bringing it up into the opening for Ataru, "Your master must have been an exceptionally good teacher." 

Anakin felt his heart drop, "Yea." he swallowed thickly, falling into the opening for Djem So, "He was the best."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support! If you want to say hi, you can find me on tumblr under the same username :)


	4. in which Anakin and Obi-Wan spar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy reading this chapter!

Qui-Gon stood silently in the observation balcony, looking down onto the training salle. Earlier that morning he suggested to the Council that Obi-Wan be the one to sus Anakin out. Obi-Wan wasn't necessarily a gifted student, his power in the force was average at best, but he was more than capable of compensating for those setbacks in cleverness and perseverance. If anyone could see through the mask of this wayward Jedi, it was Obi-Wan. He took a moment to observe Obi-Wan's form, checking his stance and making note of the inadequacies in it. He'd tell his padawan what to correct once the spar was over. Approaching him from behind was Mace, Master Yoda perched like a bird on his shoulder.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to have your padawan out there?" Mace asked, his tone carefully neutral.

"Obi-Wan can handle himself." Qui-Gon said, his confidence radiating in the force, "His foundations are strong, and he's an exceptional duelist." 

Mace gave him a wary side eye and Qui-Gon felt the urge to snap at him, but worked to push those emotions into the Force. He didn't need to vouch for Obi-Wan. His padawan could do that for himself during the spar.

###

Anakin felt eyes on him, his gazing flicking up to the observation balcony where Qui-Gon, Master Windu, and Master Yoda watched from above. He frowned, returning his focus to Obi-Wan. The padawan was bouncing on his toes again, impatiently waiting for Anakin to advance. Anakin noted that he wasn't making the first move, forcing his hand in their game. It didn't matter, usually the one who strikes first had the upper hand, at least in Anakin's opinion. With that in mind, he took a fast step forward and brought his blade down hard. 

Obi-Wan grunted, centering his weight before pushing back and deflecting the blow. Anakin watched as Obi-Wan took a step back, putting distance between them again, attempting to assess his opponent. Anakin decided then that the best way to beat him would be to overwhelm him, knowing that the more time Obi-Wan had to figure him out, the more likely he would be able to take him down. He struck again, a wide strike from above followed by a strike from the side, then another and another, all fast and hard. Obi-Wan parried them, stepping back with each subsequent strike till he was at the edge of the mat. Just as Anakin was about to push him out of bounds, Obi-Wan launched into the air.

Anakin didn't have time to react, spinning around to block a sudden and hard strike from behind. Much to Anakin's surprise, Obi-Wan fell on him quickly with a series of vicious strikes, suddenly switching from a standard grip to the reverse grip in an effort increase the power behind his blows. The move made Anakin think of Ahsoka and nearly threw him off balance, stumbling back when Obi-Wan advanced forward. Even though Obi-Wan's attacks were much more overwhelming than he expected, Anakin noticed that his form was loose and his footwork not nearly as neat as it should be. He was able to hook Obi-Wan's saber and plant his foot against the younger mans chest thanks to that weakness, kicking him back.

"When you use the reverse grip you need to keep your form tighter." Anakin instructed, "You're too loose. You might be able to overwhelm your opponent but what good would that be if they disarmed you?"

Obi-Wan was quick to regain his composure, rubbing his chest and furrowing his brows, "I thought the point of the reverse grip was to work with the flow of combat?" 

"Yes, when you're deflecting blaster bolts, but I'm not armed with a blaster, I'm armed with a saber, and if you hold your blade all loose like that and move your feet too quick-" He lunged forward, hooking Obi-Wan's saber with his own and twirling the blade and twisting it out of his hand, "It's easy for me to disarm you."

Obi-Wan quickly retracted his arm, rubbing his wrist. Anakin waited for him to lash out and complain the way Ahsoka would. Instead, Obi-Wan made a thoughtful noise and called his saber back to his hand.

"Best two out of three?" The padawan asked, unfazed by his failure.

Anakin frowned, glancing back to the observation deck and the ever watchful eyes on them, "If you want, just know that I'm going to win."

They took a moment to situate themselves on opposites sides of the mat again, Anakin falling back into the opening for Djem so. Obi-Wan hesitated a moment before igniting his blade and swinging the saber down and up into the opening for Soresu, snaring Anakin between his two fingers. Anakin arched his brow, waiting for a moment before striking. This time, Obi-Wan held his ground, meeting Anakin's strike with a strike of his own before he began pushing him back. After a series of steady blows, Obi-Wan suddenly ducked under Anakin's blade, making him over correct and stumble forward. He turned quickly and was met by Obi-Wan's blade inches from his neck. 

"Yield." 

Anakin huffed a laugh, eyeing blue current of energy that crackled near his ear, "Fine."

Obi-Wan smiled triumphantly, taking a step back and twirling his saber. Anakin could feel the swell of pride in the force as it radiated off Obi-Wan like heat from the sun. It was enough to make Anakin smile back, shaking his head.

"You did well, Obi-Wan." he complimented, if only to have the padawan flash him another pleased grin, dipping his head in thanks.

They fell back onto opposite ends of the mat, Anakin once more opening with Djem So and Obi-Wan opting to stick with Soresu. They collided, slower this time as their duel dragged on. Obi-Wan wasn't a natural with Soresu, and Anakin noticed every time he slipped back into Ataru or even Makashi, though he didn't attempt using the reverse grip again. Despite this he wielded his saber well and his 17 years of basics were more than enough to buffer the discomfort he must have felt.

Anakin was so engrossed in observing Obi-Wan's form, he miscalculated a swing, and Obi-Wan managed to hook his saber, but instead of pushing him away, he pulled him forward, a dangerous look in his eyes and a playful smirk on his lip, "You know, we have great chemistry in battle," the padawan mused, "Makes me wonder what kind of chemistry we'd have in bed."

Anakin choked on air, thrown by the comment and Obi-Wan took advantage of his surprise, grabbing him by the collar of his tunic and throwing him to the ground much like he had done earlier that morning in the dormitory. When Anakin managed to regain his wits, Obi-Wan's blade was once again at his throat, the padawan straddling his hips with a smug grin.

"Looks like I win this round, Master." 

Anakin stared at him in shock and rapture, not at all missing the way Obi-Wan pressed into him. It made heat pool viciously in his groin and he scrambled to push his feelings into the Force. He was so caught up in it, he barely registered Qui-Gon and Master Windu came down from the balcony and approached them. Obi-Wan lingered for a moment longer, squeezing Anakin's shoulder before rolling off him and onto his feet, deactivating his saber as he did.

"Well done, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon rumbled, his arms folded over his chest, "Sloppy, but well done." 

Anakin blinked up at Qui-Gon and furrowed his brows, glancing to Obi-Wan who dipped his head apologetically.

"I am trying, master."

"Do or do not, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon reprimanded, "There is no try. You are dismissed." 

Obi-Wan offered the masters another curt bow, looking back down to Anakin and offering him a wink before he gathered up his tunics and sauntered off. Master Windu offered Anakin his hand and pulled him up from the mat.

"Your saber work is impressive, Knight Skywalker." Master Windu says, the compliment catching Anakin by surprise. He awkwardly bowed his head in thanks, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Don't feel too sorry for losing against him, either." Qui-Gon offers, patting Anakin on the shoulder, "He's known for playing dirty."

"You shouldn't say that about your padawan, Master Jinn." Master Windu says tightly, "He wouldn't have to play dirty if you let him practice advanced saber combat earlier in his training." 

Anakin watched the two masters glare at each other, Master Yoda hopping down from Maces shoulder and hobbling over to Anakin, offering him a smile, "Gifted, you are, Knight Skywalker. In the force and with your saber. A test has been decided for you. Send you on a mission with Master Jinn and his padawan, we will, in order to assess your abilities as a Jedi." 

Anakin blinked and offered a nod to the old master, still distracted by Qui-Gon and Master Windu's silent bickering. The green master followed his eyes and tsked, going to whack both of them in the ankles with his stick. 

###

That night, Anakin laid awake on his futon. He had gone to a council briefing directly after the sparring match. Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and himself were being sent to negotiate with Offworld Corps, an organization that Anakin likened to the Trade Federation. The corporation was currently blockading a neutral planet that hosted valuable resources, resources that the Republic wanted to get their hands on. Anakin decided that the Republic hadn't changed much in the past few decades if the only reason they were sending the Jedi to help was to their own benefit. 

He closed his eyes at the thought, turning to his side and exhaling slowly. He couldn't stop thinking about Obi-Wan.

_"We have great chemistry in battle." - "Makes me wonder what kind of chemistry we'd have in bed."_

Anakin felt suddenly hot. He couldn't stand to just lay still, so instead he got himself to his feet and grabbed his outer tunic, loosely tying it before slipping from his rooms. It was well passed curfew now, the only Jedi who wandered the halls being the nocturnal sort. Some looked to him curiously, stepping out of his way and offering polite nods. Anakin nodded in return, still unused to their friendliness. Despite being a stranger, the majority of the Jedi had welcomed him with open, albeit it hesitant, arms. It was comforting and unnerving all at the same time. He felt the need to do more, to be better and earn their kindness properly. Instead, it was given to him freely. He wondered if they had been so generous in his own time and he just hadn't noticed it, too caught up with the chancellor and Padme and his mother to bother reaching out. Now, in the darkness of the temples corridors, illuminated only by the tall windows overlooking the skyline, did Anakin wish he had his Obi-Wan there to guide him. Obi-Wan would know what to do if he were here. 

"I see you're still awake, Knight Skywalker." 

The voice was enough to make ice shoot up his spine and Anakin turned quickly to see Master Windu, a candle droid floating idly in front of him. 

"Master Windu." Anakin greeted, forcing himself to relax, "I'm surprised to see you up."

The dark master arched his brow, "I've never slept well." he said simply, "Care to take a walk with me? I'm headed to the room of a thousand fountains." 

"Ah, sure." Anakin murmured, falling into step with him as they made their way through the temple corridors.

"You're a master of Djem So, aren't you?" Master Windu asked, making conversation as they went, "You wielded it expertly during the spar today." 

Anakin nodded, "Yes, saberwork has always come easily to me." 

Master Windu nodded, "Padawan Kenobi mentioned that you had a padawan?"

Anakin felt his gut twist, the force turning slick and oily at the mention of Ahsoka. Especially from Master Windu. He offered a tight smile, "Yes, unfortunately, she left the Order before being knighted." he said, trying not to betray any of his internal emotions.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Master Windu said simply, "Our students are like our family. I don't know what I would do if Depa chose to leave the Order." 

Anakin felt his rage fall away, surprised by the warmth Master Windu exuded in the force, "Well- I mean, it wasn't really a choice, but-" Anakin huffed, folding his arms over his chest, "They say the hardest part about having an apprentice is letting them go when the time comes." 

Master Windu hummed, "That's true. Perhaps I've spoken too much." the dark master murmured, "I don't think I have the strength to let her go. You are an exemplary Jedi for having so much control over your emotions." 

Anakin felt dizzy from all the praise, "I assure you, I don't have nearly as much control as you think I do. I'm attached to my old master. I'm attached to my student, even though she's no longer in the Order. I'm attached to my friends, and I fear losing them more than anything." _I'm attached to my wife, who is pregnant with my children. There isn't anything that I wouldn't do to ensure their safety._

"It's not that these attachments are forbidden, Knight Skywalker." Master Windu said, stopping at the entrance to the room of a thousand fountains, "They are natural and if they are maintained properly, they allow us to flourish together in the Force. If we are afraid of losing the people we love, then we must train ourselves to let go of that fear, and appreciate what we have in the moment. For fear, they say, is the path to the darkside." The door hissed open and Master Windu turned away.

"And if you are not careful, that fear will be used to control you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Master Windu: You are an excellent Jedi.
> 
> Anakin: You're lying but whatever.
> 
> Thank you for all your support! You can find me on tumblr under the same username if you'd like to come say hi :)


	5. in which Anakin prepares for his test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update! I hope you guys enjoy the chapter :)

Anakin woke early the next morning, too anxious to stay asleep. Going out on an actual mission like he did when he was a padawan was a distant memory, so much so that it was almost novel. Ever since he was knighted, and even before that, his "missions" involved deployment to the front, fighting droid armies and Sith assassins. Even now as he awkwardly threw his blanket back and stumbled his way to the fresher, Anakin couldn't remember the last time his mornings had been so normal. He couldn't even remember the last time he had a proper shower. A quick sonic usually sufficed while on the front.

Once he was finished with his shower, he towel dried his hair and dressed in his usual tunics, now fresh from the wash. He did not miss the beige of the spare he borrowed, the darker browns and blacks suited him much better anyways. At least he thought they did and Padme seemed to think they did too, and Padme's fashion advice was principle. Anakin's mouth twitched with a repressed smile as he stared at himself in the mirror. He finger combed his hair a couple times before shaking his head and messing it up again. Exiting the fresher, he attached his communicator to his wrist and finished tying his obi and securing his belt. The perfect picture of a Jedi Knight, the poster boy of the Jedi Order and the Grand Army of the Republic. The Chosen One! The Hero without Fear! Child of the Force, or whatever they wanted to call him.

Leaving his rooms, Anakin made his way to the dining hall and grabbed himself a light breakfast. Bread, butter, and caf. The cooking droid beeped at him inquisitively, questioning his calorie intake but Anakin just waved it off, whistling at him in binary and snickering when the droid rolled back in shock. He whistled at it again, asking for its name, and before he knew it, he was having a conversation with a droid who apparently only received maintenance when it didn't add enough salt to whatever meal it prepared for the day.

"You speak binary?"

If Anakin had a credit for every time someone snuck up on him in this alternate reality, he'd have at least two by now. Which wasn't a lot, but still. He awkwardly waved the droid goodbye and turned to face whoever was addressing him. This time it was Qui-Gon, a funny expression on the older mans face that made Anakin flush with embarrassment.

"It's a good trick." He tries casually, occupying himself by spreading the butter on his bread and stuffing it into his mouth.

"So is spinning in the air." Qui-Gon mused, getting himself a much more substantial breakfast and two cups of tea on a serving tray, "That doesn't mean people do it all the time."

Anakin arched his brow at the pile of food and tea, "Eating for two?" he asked, finishing up his bread and taking a sip of caf.

Qui-Gon snorted, offering him wry smile, "This isn't for me, and even if it was, I wouldn't be taking sugar or milk in my tea." The older man precariously added a biscuit to the top of his pile and sighed, "Obi-Wan snuck out of the Temple again last night and needs a cure for his hangover. Food usually helps." 

"He snuck out of the Temple?" Anakin asked, furrowing his brows a bit.

Qui-Gon rubbed a hand down his face and nodded, "0300 in the morning, he comes stumbling into our rooms smelling like death sticks and Jawa juice. He must have forgotten that we're being shipped out today, otherwise he wouldn't have been so irresponsible."

Anakin stared in disbelief, awkwardly fumbling with his cup, "I mean, I guess he's still young- wait, did you say 'again?'"

Qui-Gon gave him an exasperated look, "Yes, again, didn't you see what he was doing on the roof? If Quinlan were here he'd probably still be wandering around the lower levels, singing space shanties and snorting spice. It's funny you should mention his age, too, I can't imagine he's much younger than you are, and yet I sense that you're infinitely more responsible than him."

"I certainly wouldn't say that, I used to go pod racing in the lower levels when I was a padawan." 

Qui-Gon quirked a brow at him, "Pod racing? Dangerous, isn't it?"

Anakin shrugged, "Very fast, very dangerous. Good way to get in touch with the force, though." 

"More like a good way to _meet_ the force." Qui-Gon laughed, shaking his head and hefting up the tray of food, "I see that you've already finished eating, but would you like to join us for breakfast anyways?"

###

Obi-Wan was not a morning person. This was true in the future and very true in the present, Anakin decided, as he watched the way Obi-Wan slouched on the sofa in the lounge area of his and Qui-Gon's rooms. The padawans eyes were dull and there were dark circles from his lack of sleep. He looked dehydrated too and Anakin had to suppress the urge to get him a glass of water from the kitchen like a doting parent. This Obi-Wan, so similar and yet completely different from the one Anakin knew, appeared to be an absolute menace to Qui-Gon and the Jedi Order at large. 

_And they call Master Jinn the Maverick,_ Anakin thinks, sipping his caf and nodding to the plate of food left untouched on the table between them.

"You should eat, it will make you feel better." He tries.

Obi-Wan's gaze flickered to him and he scrunched his nose in distaste, "If I eat now it'll come out the wrong end. I've been nauseous all morning." 

"Too many drinks?" Anakin asks, deciding to steal a biscuit off the plate, "Jawa juice?"

"Twi'Lek liquor, actually. Have you ever had gin brewed on Ryloth?"

Anakin shook his head, stuffing the biscuit into his mouth.

"Nasty stuff. It's best served chilled or with tonic but I was doing it straight last night. If Luminara hadn't come to get me I'd probably be in someone's bed right now." Obi-Wan said, valiantly starting to pick at his plate of food while Anakin choked on the biscuit he'd stolen.

"I'm sorry, what?" Anakin coughed.

Obi-wan looked up to him, a slow and easy smile touching his lips as he shook his head, "Come now, Master Skywalker, you know _exactly_ what I'm talking about, don't you?" he teased, biting into a piece of toast and taking a sip of his lukewarm, sugary sweet tea.

" _Anakin_ , and of course I know what you're talking about." he muttered, setting the rest of his biscuit aside and leaning back a bit, "You know, I've spoken to Master Windu and Master Billaba, and they seem to think you're pretty straight laced. The way you're talking is making me question their judgement."

Obi-Wan was grinning now. He set his piece of toast down and suddenly leaned across the table, putting a firm hand on Anakin's knee, "What they see is what they get, I'm transparent with my fun and I go to them for direction when I need to. Our masters are there to guide us in the way of the force, not tell us what to do and who to be." 

The invasion of his space made Anakin blush darkly, his eyes darting up and down Obi-Wan's body in panic, " _Obi-Wan_ , this is-"

"Something I've explicitly told him _not_ to do?" Qui-Gon's voice was raised incredulously upon his return from the fresher, "Obi-Wan, get off him, you're acting like a schutta." 

Obi-Wan scoffed, "I prefer to be called a tease, master." 

"Oh yes, you're teasing an extra hour of meditation with Master Windu." Qui-Gon huffed, offering Anakin an apologetic look, "Sorry about him, he's a bit much." 

"I can be a lot more if you wanted." 

That earned a swat to his head, and then Obi-Wan was climbing over the back of the sofa while Qui-Gon fled back to the fresher, locking the door behind him.

"You're a coward, master! Come out here and face me like a man!" Obi-Wan shouted whilst banging on the door. Qui-Gon was laughing on the other side and Anakin was glued to his seat, trying desperately to process what the hell was going on.

###

"We're coming out of hyperspace." Anakin said, twisting one of the knobs on the shuttles control board. It was an older piece of equipment and reminded him of the Twilight. He missed the old spice freighter and regretted letting Obi-Wan borrow it for that one unsanctioned mission to Mandalore. 

"So it seems." Qui-Gon commented from the co-pilot seat, looking up from the datapad he'd been reading

Obi-Wan was in the crews quarters and had slept a majority of the way to Mygeeto, the planet currently under the Offworld Corps blockade. According to the brief, Offworld Corp was a mining institution which operated primarily on its home world of Telos IV. Anakin ground his teeth a bit, remembering the month long campaigns he'd done on Mygeeto against the Separatist. The memory made him tense, gripping the shuttles steering yolk till the knuckles of his flesh hand turned white. What he remembered most clearly about Mygeeto was the cold, the way the clones turned purple with frostbite as they trudged across the crystalline landscape against gale force winds that were enough to drain the electric generators on their walkers. He remembered the way his mechno arm kept malfunctioning, the nub which it was connected to turning black with nearly rotting flesh-

"Anakin, you need to breath." 

Qui-Gon's voice came like a beacon over stormy water and Anakin managed to suck in a much needed breath of air, forcing himself to relax. He shook his head, noticing that he was sweating and shaking.

"I'm sorry." Anakin murmured, awkwardly wringing out his hands and wiping the sweat onto his tunics, "I don't have fond memories of Mygeeto."

Qui-Gon watched him and nodded slowly, "I've never been." He said finally, turning off his datapad, "Why don't you take a break from flying?"

Anakin couldn't tear himself out of the pilots seat fast enough, leaving the cockpit and going to the hold, rummaging through the medkit in search of a stim shot. He fumbled with the package, shakily prepping the needle before sticking it into his thigh and exhaling slowly. It didn't matter how safe he was or how far away the war seemed to be. If he let his mind wander far enough it'd take him somewhere he didn't want to go. Take him back to the trenches on Malastare, or the frozen tundra of Mygeeto. Anakin slumped back against one of the supply crates and stared forward blankly, letting the drug work its way through his veins and slow him down enough to think properly. He wasn't in war right now. He was on a diplomatic mission, mitigating a trade agreement in an independent system.

He stayed in the hold just long enough for it to be reasonable before coming back out. Obi-Wan was awake now, just finishing tying up the obi and belt of his off white tunics. He glanced to Anakin and arched his brow, noticing the still shaken look written all over his face.

"You alright?" He asked, making sure his tabards were even before pulling on his cloak, "Don't worry, I don't like flying much either." 

Anakin could only nod, grabbing his own cloak and pulling it on.

They had dropped out of hyperspace and Qui-Gon was bringing them up to the blockade. Two detachments came to greet them and guide them towards the open hangar on the far side of a massive star ship. Anakin and Obi-Wan joined Qui-Gon in the cockpit, and Anakin almost couldn't comprehend that a private corporation had the means to manufacture something of its size. When they landed, Anakin noticed a tall man at the entrance to the hangar, a guard on either of his sides.

Anakin frowned, "I'm assuming that's who we're supposed to be negotiating with?" 

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan looked to see who Anakin was talking about, and immediately the force soured. Qui-Gon's force signature churned in sudden discomfort while Obi-Wan's turned dry and bitter.

"What?" Anakin asked, awkwardly looking between them.

Qui-Gon cleared his throat, "Yes, sorry, that is who we're negotiating with. He is the president of Offworld Corp. He goes under the name Xanatos, and..." 

"He used to be a Jedi." Obi-Wan finished for him, displeasure evident in his voice. He turned now to exit the cockpit, "Let's not keep him waiting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your support! You can find me on tumblr under the same username :)  
> On Anakin taking a stim shot to calm down: During the world wars, it wasn't uncommon for soldiers to take shots of morphine to dull pain/calm down during battles.


	6. in which Anakin meets Qui-Gon's first padawan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pulls up, drops an update, vanishes into the night  
> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I had lots of fun trying to pull together a bunch of different character dynamics!

After exiting the shuttle, the guards came forward to greet them, checking for any unsanctioned weapons. They wore masks over their faces and Anakin thought they resembled the Jedi temple guards. The guards let them keep their sabers, much to Anakin's relief, and once they were finished being patted down, Xanatos came forward, a pleasant smile on his face. Anakin took a moment to size him up. 

Xanatos was tall, much like Qui-Gon, and just a little less broad. Also like Qui-Gon, he wore his jet black hair half-up and tied into a neat bun at the back of his head. His tunics were reminiscent of the Jedi, only his were black and blue with gold embellishment. Most striking about him, Anakin noted, were his sharp blue eyes and the brand like scar on his cheek. Anakin lifted his chin to him, Xanatos' gaze flickered to him but did not linger. Instead, he turned his attention back to Qui-Gon. Xanatos offered the Jedi a welcoming smile, clasping his hand in his own.

"Master Jinn, I trust you fared alright?" Xanatos asked, his voice was deep and quiet, unfriendly in a way. 

Qui-Gon nodded, "Just fine, thank you." he said, and Anakin could feel in the force that the older Jedi was pleased.

At the same time, Obi-Wan was considerably less pleased. The padawan's expression was neutral and he had taken the time to mask himself in the force. Anakin noted how mature Obi-Wan seemed when he wasn't waggling his brow and leaning into his space. Now, Anakin could see the beginnings of the famed Negotiator Obi-Wan was destined to be, but in this context Anakin realized it was born more out of discomfort than confidence.

Xanatos' attention finally dragged away from Qui-Gon, observing the rest of his company. His mouth twisted into an ugly sort of smile, one that Qui-Gon didn't seem to catch, "I see you've brought the runt with you." He said, addressing Obi-Wan before his eyes flickered again to Anakin, his brow arching curiously, "And someone I've not yet met." 

Anakin felt Obi-Wan's presence flinch beside him, though he did not move or speak. The insult might have effected Anakin more, actually, as he locked his jaw and frowned deeply to the man before him, "Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, at your service." He said, extending his mechno arm.

Xanatos glanced to it, considering him for a moment before taking the hand in his own and squeezing it, his twisted smile still plastered on his face, "Xanatos of Telos. A pleasure to meet you." He said, letting go of his hand, "Skywalker is a unique name. I believe the Chiss call their Force sensitives 'skywalkers' because of their ability to navigate through the unknown regions." 

"Is that so? I've never met a Chiss," Anakin said, "Though I heard that they're pragmatic."

Xanatos nodded, "I like to think they're efficient." he canted his head towards the entrance to the ships foyer, "We should get the negotiations underway. I'd hate to waste your time." He said, turning with a swish of his heavy black robes and heading to the door, his guards standing behind Anakin and Obi-Wan, waiting for them to move.

Obi-Wan faltered as soon as Xanatos turned his back, awkwardly fidgeting with his padawan braid. Qui-Gon seemed oblivious to his discomfort, matching Xanatos' stride as they made their way through the corridor and chatted amongst each other. 

"Have you met him before?" He asked Obi-Wan quietly as they followed behind, glancing over his shoulder to the guards. He felt like he was being walked to a prison cell with them in the back.

Obi-Wan nodded but didn't say anything in response. His silence made Anakin feel even more uneasy, and he wondered what Obi-Wan's relationship with Xanatos was for him to be so cold. 

They finally made it to the meeting room, Xanatos gesturing for them to sit at the long table before them; "The other party should arrive here shortly, so I must go back to the hangar. Please, make yourselves comfortable. A servant will deliver some refreshments while you wait."

Now alone, Anakin noticed the especially tumultuous energy being exchanged between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. He imagined they were communicating through their training bond. Qui-Gon was obviously trying to sooth whatever hurt Obi-Wan was feeling, which resulted in the padawan snapping at him.

"He's disrespectful to me and you still defend him? Did you not hear him call me a runt?" Obi-Wan asked, seething as he paced the length of the room. 

"He doesn't mean it to be insulting, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon says, keeping his voice level as he watched his wayward padawan stalk about the room like an angry tooka, "He's always been that way, even when he trained at the temple."

"Of course you would think that." The padawan said, taking a moment to check all the rooms corners, occupying himself by looking for listening devices or cameras.

Anakin watched them for a moment longer before clearing his throat, "So you know him personally, then? Or am I missing something?" 

Qui-Gon gave him a pleading look, clearly wanting to avoid the question.

Obi-Wan snorted, "What you're missing, _Anakin_ , is that Xanatos is Master Jinn's former padawan, which makes him biased. How are we supposed to negotiate a treaty when you can't be neutral about him?" 

"I wasn't aware that you had any other padawan." Anakin said, frowning to Qui-Gon who was staring at the table.

"I don't necessarily like to discuss it." he said finally, shaking his head, "Obi-Wan, just because I know him well doesn't mean I'm going to be biased towards his case. He might have been my padawan once, but I'm capable of separating who he was and who he is now."

Obi-Wan looked at him, his eyes slanting and the force turning cold once more, bitter as he took a step forward; "No, you will be biased, master, you've always been biased towards him and you didn't listen to the council when they cautioned you not to take this mission. When they said Xanatos requested you specifically, though, you couldn't jump into a shuttle quick enough." His words were vicious and clearly meant to sting. Qui-Gon glared at him, obviously not pleased.

"You're making an awful lot of assumptions, _padawan_." Qui-Gon bit out and Obi-Wan went silent when he recognized the threat in his tone.

Anakin shifted in his seat, drumming the tips of his mechanical fingers on the table. Just as he was about to speak and diffuse the situation, a servant entered through a hidden door in one of the panels on the wall. She was a twi'lek with vibrant pink skin and- she was wearing a shock collar like the ones used in Zygerria. The sight of it made Anakin's stomach lurch as the woman quietly set down a tray holding a kettle and cups.

"Is there anything I can assist you with while I'm here, masters?" she asked, her voice sounding meek and tired.

"No." Anakin said immediately, and the harshness in his voice made the woman flinch. He wanted to smack himself over the head with his lightsaber when she did, speaking again more gently this time; "No, I'm sorry. Thank you."

The twi'lek offered him a timid smile, dipping her head before slipping back through the panel on the wall. Anakin waited for the door to close, the tips of his mechanical fingers now scratching down the table as he tried to get a handle on his rage. While he hadn't felt any particular way about Xanatos before, he definitely felt some particular way about him now. 

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan's voice drifted to him softly and his head snapped up to look at the younger man. 

Obi-Wan's expression was drawn in concern, "Are you alright? You're projecting- you're projecting a lot right now." 

Anakin exhaled slowly, "Sorry." He said carefully, "I wasn't expecting Xanatos to be a slaver." 

Qui-Gon shifted uncomfortably in his seat, again wanting to avoid the topic, "It's not necessarily uncommon in the Outer Rim, and especially on Telos IV. Sentient property is-" 

"An abomination of sentient rights?" Anakin asked, "I'm sorry, Master Jinn, but sentient property is much too polite a term. If I'd known we'd be negotiating with slaver scum, I wouldn't have agreed to join you on this mission. It's abhorrent and completely unacceptable, to the Republic and especially to the Jedi." 

Qui-Gon was quiet now, staring again at the table, "I didn't think Xanatos would have slaves, forgive me for not knowing. He's... changed more than I realized." 

Obi-Wan came and sat beside Anakin, hesitantly reached out to him. Anakin let him gently press calming circles into his bicep, using his lilting voice as a focal point like he used to years ago, in the guided meditations his master forced him to sit through. 

"It's hard." Obi-Wan says gently, "But Master Jinn is right, it's not uncommon, and we didn't know. We wouldn't be here either if we knew, we'd have turned him in to the Republic. But- These things tend to happen, and slavery in corporations like Czerka and I guess Offworld too, it's- it's not right but it happens." 

Anakin let Obi-Wan touch him for awhile longer, his eyes closed as he exhaled slowly out his nose. Eventually he pulls away from Obi-Wan's gentle touch, standing up and shaking his head; "I need to center myself. If Xanatos returns before I do, please start the negotiations without me." With that, he left the meeting room, standing outside of the door when it hissed shut. He considered what he knew about Offworld Corps and now about Xanatos.

A former Jedi who is somehow involved in slave trade. Lovely. Already, Anakin knows that Xanatos is out of line with his blockade, and he doesn't foresee the meeting going well with the representatives of Mygeeto. Sighing heavily, Anakin looks either way down the corridor and begins his walk, checking the other rooms as he goes, all of which turn up empty. Somehow his intuition leads him to the ships engine room and he whistles at the size of it. It was about three times that of a Venator Class Star Destroyer, which probably had more to do with the technology than the size of the ship itself. It was also much hotter and Anakin noted that the converters probably needed to be replaced. 

He was about to continue on his way when he heard a lightsaber ignite, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end as he turns, igniting his saber and catching Xanatos' bloody red blade with his own blue one. Anakin's eyes widened and he pushes the other man back, putting some distance between them.

Xanatos hummed thoughtfully, twirling his saber in the same way that Anakin would when he had the intent to kill. It was a lineage thing, Anakin came to realize. 

"Quick thinking. You've impressed me." Xanatos says, swinging his saber down to his side. The opening reminds Anakin of Dooku and the memory of the dead man makes his skin crawl. 

"You're a Sith?" Anakin hissed, taking a step back in an attempt to put more distance between them.

Xanatos arched his brow, "What do you know the Sith?" He asked curiously, "There haven't been any Sith for at least 1000 years." 

"Not true." Anakin said, "There are always two, no more, no less. You carry a red blade and I can feel the darkness inside you." And it scared him because it was a darkness he had begun to feel in himself, during his nightmares at the temple, after he murdered Count Dooku, after the Council disregarded him-

"This?" Xanatos asked, twirling saber again before suddenly lunging forward and striking Anakin with deft and relentless precision, "Just because my saber bleeds doesn't mean I'm a Sith. I know no more about the dark side than any other Jedi." 

Anakin grunted with the force of each strike before ducking and rolling to Xanatos' back, attempting to strike him from behind but the other man was quick to recover, parrying his strike with obvious skill. His saber work was some of the best Anakin had ever seen. Xanatos smiled sickeningly as their blades met, beams of energy pushing against each other in a frightening display of power. 

"There's something about you, Skywalker. Something that just isn't adding up, that just isn't quite right." Xanatos commented, "What is it? Won't you tell me?" He asked, taking a step forward and bearing down on Anakin's saber with his weight, "You're angry, aren't you? Something personal? Some kind of attachment? Don't tell me you feel something for Master Jinn's useless padawan." 

Xanatos bore into him again, harder and faster than before. Anakin could tell by the way the force slipped from his grasp that the other man was using the dark side. He tried desperately to reach for it, but Xanatos just kept pulling it away. Panic bubbled in the back of his mind, Xanatos had him cornered and kept pushing him back. At this rate, he would cut himself open on his own saber. Anakin was forced onto his knees, eyes widening at the realization that there really was no way for him to get out. Was he going to die like this? Alone at the hands of a man he'd never met before? Anakin squeezed his eyes shut and found himself praying to the Force.

" **Drop your saber.** "

It was a command, but it wasn't directed at Anakin. Xanatos blinked, his brows furrowing as his saber suddenly disengaged and hit the floor. Anakin took the opportunity to kick him back and get up to his feet. Qui-Gon was at the entrance to the engine room, his hand outstretched and his brows drawn together in concentration. The force felt thick and thin at the same time, bending seamlessly to Qui-Gon's will even as he pulled his hand back and wavered, the effort of using such a powerful mind trick had drained him significantly.

Xanatos was holding his gut and Anakin could sense that his mind was still full of static. He had the urge to run his saber through the other mans chest but then Qui-Gon was at his side, worry showing plainly on his face.

"You're bleeding, you need medical attention." the older man said gruffly, ripping off a piece of his cloak and pressing it against Anakin's chest.

That was when Anakin noticed the pain shooting through every nerve in his body. The stim shot he had taken earlier did a marvelous job at blocking the pain of the saber cutting through his skin, but now that the adrenaline rush had passed and the effects of the shot had worn away, the pain was nearly unbearable. Anakin choked on the realization and nearly doubled over, Qui-Gon catching him in his arms and speaking into his communicator.

"I've got Anakin, he's been badly injured."

_"Copy that, master."_ Obi-Wan's voice came back over the comm, _"Aanya led me straight to the other slaves, I've called in reinforcements from the Council, Master Tholme will be here within the hour."_

"Good work, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon said, and Anakin saw a small smile touch his lips as he spoke to him, "You best get down here, though, Anakin's losing lots of blood."

Obi-Wan appeared shortly after, supporting Anakin's weight and making towards the exit.

"What about Xanatos?" Anakin croaked, looking back to Qui-Gon as they stumbled through the door.

Qui-Gon hesitated, looking down to Xanatos' crumpled body, "I'll take care of him." he said, shooing them off, "You need to get patched up. Go."

Obi-Wan tensed while carrying Anakin's limp body but didn't say anything, continuing to drag the wayward Jedi down the hall and back to their shuttle.

When they arrived Obi-Wan made quick work of stripping Anakin out of his tunics. He cleaned the wound, a large gash which went from Anakin's left shoulder blade down just beneath his right armpit. Obi-Wan kept his touch clinical, spreading the bright blue bacta gel all over Anakin's chest. The cold made Anakin hiss and Obi-Wan tsked at him.

"You shouldn't have engaged him." Obi-Wan said quietly, having Anakin sit up so that he could wrap his wound properly with the linen medical tape.

"I didn't have a choice." Anakin huffed back, " _He_ attacked _me_. I was just passing through."

Obi-Wan hummed, "Well, as soon as you left, we were ambushed by his guards. This whole thing was a set up. If it weren't for that servant girl, Aanya, we probably would have been dead." 

"The twi'lek?" Anakin asked, "Is she alright?"

"She's perfectly fine." Obi-Wan assured, "Took us through the servants passage. Xanatos had about a dozen slaves under the deck."

"Do you think Qui-Gon is going to take care of him properly?" Anakin asked, regretting not taking his chance to slaughter the man.

Obi-Wan pressed his lips together, "Probably not." he sighed, "To kill is not the Jedi way. Besides, even though Master Jinn will deny it, he still has a soft spot for Xanatos. I'm sure he'll probably let him escape after his head starts working again. Master Jinn's mind tricks aren't easy to shake off." 

Anakin cursed under his breath, "I should have killed him." he breathed, "He took me by surprise. I couldn't get on top of him." 

Obi-Wan snorted, "You did exceptionally well, actually, Xanatos is built like a wall, and he's strong in the force. Whoever your master was, they must have taught you well, because there would have been no other way for you to survive." 

Anakin closed his eyes, considering Obi-Wan's words as the pain in his chest eased; "You've said that before." he says finally, "About my master."

Obi-Wan shrugged, "Perhaps I'm jealous." he said, offering him a rueful smile, "Master Jinn didn't want me, so I wonder what it's like." 

Anakin frowned at him, feeling rather spacey now from his blood loss, "I'm sure Master Jinn cares about you." he said, laying back and focusing on his breathing.

"Caring about someone and wanting someone are not the same thing, Master Skywalker." Obi-Wan hummed, reaching out and gently brushing his fingers through Anakin's curly hair. Anakin made a noise in the back of his throat and he couldn't help but lean into his touch.

"I'm sure he wants you too, Obi-Wan, I've seen you two together. You balance each other out well. My master and I, we- we didn't get a long all the time either. Especially after I was knighted. We grew apart and disagreed about everything." Anakin murmured and Obi-Wan laughed softly.

"It's different once you're knighted." He says and Anakin frowns again.

"It's not that different." He argues.

Obi-Wan smiles to him, "We'll have more time to talk about it later, Master. You really should get some rest." 

Anakin wanted to argue that point too, but instead, his body felt like it had been submerged in sinking sands. It didn't occur to him that Obi-Wan was gently pushing a sleep suggestion through the force and the gentle touch on his scalp as the padawan continued to gently brush through his hair. He let Obi-Wan push him further down until he was engulfed by the black void of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was feeling soft towards the end, so fight me.  
> Thank you for reading! As always, you can find me on Tumblr under the same username :)


	7. in which Anakin has a revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it getting hot in here? Featuring a bit of Obi-Wan's perspective this time! I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

Obi-Wan watched as Master Skywalker's breathing evened out as the sleep suggestion finally took hold. Even after the Jedi was asleep, though, Obi-Wan continued gently brushing through his golden curls, lost in thought. If only Master Jinn hadn't been so insistent on taking this mission. None of this would have happened. Obi-Wan took a second to pull a thermal blanket over Anakin's bare body, smoothing it out as he thought. Anakin had seemed rather upset earlier, about Xanatos and his small collection of slaves. It made him wonder if the Jedi had an experience with slavers in the Outer Rim that inspired such feelings. The more he thought about it, the more Anakin just didn't seem to fit in with the cookie cutter mold created by the Order. He was emotional in a completely unorthodox way, a way that was unbecoming of a Jedi, especially one who achieved the rank of knight. 

Obi-Wan sighed heavily and reluctantly stood up, being sure to stretch out his limbs when he did. Master Jinn was taking an awful long time in the engine room, and Obi-Wan considered going back down to check on him when his comm beeped with an incoming transmission.

Checking the frequency iD, Obi-Wan grinned, accepting the call and projecting the holographic form of Quinlan before him. The Kriffar padawan was handsome as ever, of course, his locs styled with an undercut similar to Master Windu's and tied up at the back of his head, his long padawan braid tossed haphazardly over his shoulder. He had a yellow tattoo across the bridge of his strong nose and a smirk drawn across his lips, dark eyes bright with mischief.

 _"Hey there, Kenobi."_ He says and Obi-Wan huffed a laugh.

"Is that all I get?" Obi-Wan asked, glancing back to Master Skywalker's sleeping form before dipping out of the crews quarters and into the cabin.

Quinlan shrugged, waiting for Obi-Wan to settle before speaking again, _"Sorry, I really can't be too chatty right now. Master Tholme is in the cockpit and he started checking my transmission logs."_

Obi-Wan gawked at him, "You cannot be serious? Please tell me he doesn't know about last week?"

Quinlan cringed and Obi-Wan groaned, "If Master Tholme tells Qui about that I'll be in the archives for a month studying the benefits of abstinence." 

_"Hasn't he tried that already?"_ The other padawan snorted, _"But that's not what I commed you for. Master Tholme and I are about to drop from hyperspace. Is Master Jinn around?"_

"He hasn't come back since he caught Xan fighting Master Skywalker in the engine room." Obi-Wan mused, leaning back in his seat a bit.

Quinlan arched his brow at him, _"Master Skywalker?"_

"Oh right," Obi-Wan said, "You've been out of the loop. Master Skywalker is this Jedi who magically appeared in the Archives about two cycles ago. Qui thinks he's pretty slick but I think the Council would have an aneurism if they heard about the things this guy says or does."

 _"Meaning?"_ Quinlan asked, taking his own seat now and cocking his head to the side as his blue projection became staticky and distorted. They probably just made the drop from hyperspace judging by the interference.

Obi-Wan grinned again and leaned forward, quieting his voice to a conspiratory whisper, "He wanted to kill Xan after he found out he had slaves."

Quinlan whistled, _"Wo-ow. Bad boy type?"_

Obi-Wan shrugged, "I think so, you should see his robes. They're all dark and mysterious." he said, waving his had around.

 _"I got you."_ Quinlan hummed before lowering his voice, _"So- have you tried him out yet?"_ he asked, waggling his brow.

Obi-Wan dimpled a smile and looked away, "Why, Padawan Vos, how very crass of you."

_"Oh shut up and spill it, have you?"_

"No." Obi-Wan sighed, "Qui says he's off limits."

 _"Since when have you listened to Master Jinn?"_ Quinlan asked, twirling his padawan braid.

"Hey, I listen to him when it matters." Obi-Wan scoffed, giving him a pointed look.

 _"Only after you've consulted the Council at least a hundred times."_ Quinlan mused, _"But since this Master Skywalker is off limits and Luminara told me you weren't able to get anything before you were shipped out, want to go for a round when I land?"_

Obi-Wan quirked a brow at him, "Force, Quin, you're such a schutta." 

_"I'm a schutta?"_ Quinlan echoed, _"Sweetheart, have you met yourself?"_

Obi-Wan grinned, "If you can get me alone, I won't say no, darling." 

Their call ended shortly after and Obi-Wan took the opportunity to run diagnostics on the shuttle the Council gave them while he waited for the others to arrive or Master Jinn to return. He wasn't the biggest fan of flying anymore, but that didn't mean he was averse to running specs. The shuttle was standard, perhaps a bit newer than the other shuttles the Temple often had them use. Obi-Wan wondered if that had to do with Master Skywalker being on this mission. He wondered how Qui-Gon was going to spin it to the Council. Technically, Master Skywalker failed the test. Desiring to kill someone was not the Jedi way, no matter how admirable the reason. Of course, Qui-Gon didn't know Master Skywalker had said any of that. Surely, being stuck in the Outer Rim for so long didn't result in such uncivilized manners. Surely it didn't make them shake and sweat from some unknown trauma the way it made him. The force whispered something secret in his ear and Obi-Wan closed his eyes, feeling it turn thick and thin like pulled taffy. He tried to listen to it, tried to see into the unifying force like he did when he was a youngling in the creche, but it slipped away from him before he could grasp anything substantial.

Obi-Wan huffed a sigh, without any help from the force, his mind wandering to Master Skywalker's tanned skin and bare chest, the cut that ran across it. The wound wasn't terribly deep and probably wouldn't scar. He thought about how Master Skywalker was lean and muscular, perhaps a bit taller than himself. He didn't have the sharp edges Obi-Wan thought he might, his body was lithe and smooth. Obi-Wan shook his head, his cheeks flushing at the memory of how the wayward Jedi's eyes slanted and voice lilted when he was annoyed, how he puckered his lips and demurred. He wondered what he'd sound like laid out for him, how familiar he might be with intimacy. Obi-Wan doubted he was a virgin, he was far too pretty for that. And yet he pinked when Obi-Wan flirted with him. Had he been with a man before? Did he know how it felt to be so full?

"Anakin." Obi-Wan tried, sounding out his name slowly now, " _Ah-nah-kin._ " He drummed his fingers on the dashboard and jolted when another incoming transmission beeped on his comm, this time from Qui-Gon.

"Kenobi here." Obi-Wan said, furrowing his brows as he stood up.

 _"Obi-Wan, Xanatos is on the move, he's going for the hangar! Try and cut off his escape!"_ Qui-Gon's voice came through garbled, like his communicator had been damaged.

Obi-Wan cursed, brandishing his saber and running from the cockpit, his thoughts of Anakin's bare shoulders now a distant memory. When he came down the ramp and into the hangar he caught sight of Xanatos bolting towards one of the lightweight shuttles attached to a hyperspace ring. Obi-Wan chased after him, throwing his saber like a frisbee. The other man must have sensed it coming because he ignited his own saber and deflected it, sending it careening towards the other side of the hangar. Obi-Wan didn't expect it to do any actual damage, he just wanted to stop Xanatos from moving.

They collided together, Obi-Wan being sure to grab Xanatos' wrist and twist the saber out of his hand. The taller man shouted and attempted to throw Obi-Wan off. Being significantly larger than him, he was able to accomplish the feat with ease and Obi-Wan landed hard on his back. Xanatos called his saber back into his hand and made to impale Obi-Wan through the chest, but the padawan rolled out of the way and rose to a crouch, his breathing heavy and jagged.

Xanatos laughed at him, twirling his saber, "Really, Obi-Wan? You're going to fight me without a weapon?" He mocked, the his amusement was nothing more than a facade. His mind was still doughy from Qui-Gon's mind trick and he lacked the usual grip he had on the force.

Obi-Wan sucked in a deep breath and decided to take a chance, extending his arm and splaying his fingers, concentrating all of his attention on the force, feeling the way it fractured in his hand, " **You're going to drop your weapon.** "

Xanatos' eyes crossed and he closed them, turning his head away as he fought against the force compelling him to obey.

Obi-Wan gritted his teeth, his brows furrowed as he tried again, " **Drop. Your. Weapon.** " 

"Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon's voice rung like a bell in his skull and broke his concentration, allowing Xanatos to shake free from the suggestion and make a beeline for his shuttle.

"Sithspit!" Obi-Wan hissed, chasing after him.

"Obi-Wan, catch!" 

Obi-Wan held out his hand and called Qui-Gon's saber to him as soon as his master threw it in his direction. He made made to cut through the hyperspace ring only to have the engine thrusters knock him back, sending him flying into the floor and cursing on impact as Qui-Gon came up behind him. Xanatos took off out of the hangar, barely outside it's gravitational pull before making the jump to hyperspace just as Master Tholme's shuttle was approaching in the distance. Obi-Wan made a frustrated noise, even as Qui-Gon put a hand on his shoulder and helped him to his feet.

"Good effort." The older man said, offering a wry smile.

"I'm assuming your heart to heart didn't go well?" Obi-Wan asked, feeling rather bitter.

Qui-Gon shrugged, "He didn't want to listen to this old fool." 

"You're hardly a fool." Obi-Wan murmured, "Sometimes you just lack the good conscience the force gave you."

With that, Master Tholme's shuttle landed in the hangar before them, the master descending the boarding ramp with Quinlan in tow. Their greetings were brief, Qui-Gon asking Master Tholme to come with him while they began assessing the blockade, leaving Obi-Wan alone with Quinlan. The kriffar observed him, noticing the tension in his shoulders and the way his jaw was clenched. 

"You alright there, Obi-" 

Obi-Wan didn't let him finish. As soon as Qui-Gon and Master Tholme were out of sight, he pushed Quinlan against the shuttle and smashed their mouths together. Quinlan moaned weakly into his mouth and gripped his tabards in an attempt to keep himself steady. Obi-Wan bit at the kriffars bottom lip, making him bleed as he pulled away.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you." Obi-Wan breathed out, taking a moment to push Quinlan's locs out of his face.

The other padawan flushed scarlet and turned away, "Are you happy to see me or are you just fed up with how your days been going?"

Obi-Wan hummed, considering how he should respond to that, "Both." He said finally. It was no use lying and Quinlan wanted this just as much as he did, "But I'm glad it's you and not someone else."

Quinlan smirked, putting his arms over Obi-Wan's shoulder and waggling his brow, "Force, you know just what to say don't you?"

Obi-Wan grinned, resting his hands on Quinlan's waist, "Always." 

###

Anakin's head felt heavy and full of molasses as he was slowly drawn from sleep. He had no idea how long he had been out, but the ache in his temple told him it had been long enough. His throat felt dry and his lips were chapped from dehydration. Anakin groaned in pain when he attempted to sit up. Despite his chest no longer bleeding, the bruise that remained was tender and could probably use another round of bacta. He sat up in his bunk for a long moment, trying to string his thoughts together when he heard a soft moan coming from across the hall followed by a gentle voice. Anakin felt all his senses honing in on the noises, his face flushing in realization when another moan, louder this time, was swiftly cut off and that tender voice told it's maker to keep it down. 

That tender voice belonged to Obi-Wan. _Who in the Galaxies could he possibly shagging?_ Anakin thought, the gears of his mind trying to put together what happened while he was unconscious, _Was it the twi'lek girl?_ he asked himself. He didn't think she was Obi-Wan's type. Against his better judgement, Anakin managed to get to his feet, noticing then that he was dressed only in his leggings, his boots and tunics nowhere to be found. He cursed, looking around the darkened room when he heard the other voice come again from across the hall. Anakin paused his search, listening intently.

_"Obi, if you don't kriff me into this bunk right now- Oh kark oh kark, yes yes yes yes! Please! Please don't stop!"_

Anakin's eyes widened and he felt his heart pound heavily against his ribcage. That was a mans voice. Obi-Wan was having sex with a man. Anakin slowly went down into a crouch, covering his mouth as he listened to the steady sound of skin slapping against skin not even 20 paces from his own room. It made heat pool low in his gut and his dick harden with interest. Anakin's panic became palpable when he noticed his body's reaction.

"No- no no no no no, you can't do that." Anakin hissed quietly, trying to think of the most unsexy thing he could manage. Jocasta Nu in a bikini. Ki-Adi Mundi in a speedo. 

_"You're so kriffing loud, Quin."_ Obi-Wan admonished his partner. _He didn't mean Quinlan, did he?_

_"You like it when I'm loud- Mmmf!"_

_"I do, but Qui and Master Tholme aren't that far away and Master Skywalker is in the next room, you don't want to wake him up by being noisy do you?"_

Obi-Wan's voice was low and hot, and Anakin could have sworn he heard Quinlan whimper.

 _"That's better,"_ Obi-Wan's voice soothed, _"you're so good for me, darling."_

Anakin's mouth opened and he hung his head, his cock uncomfortable in the confines of his leggings. He awkwardly pulled himself out and stroked himself quickly, from the bottom of the shaft and squeezing over the tip, needing to get it over with as soon as possible. He finished in his hand and exhaled quietly, tears pricking the corners of his eyes as the pleasure surged through him. At the realization of what he'd done an immense wave of guilt and anxiety came over him, as well as the sickening curl of jealousy he only felt around Padme. He quickly got to his feet, disoriented in the dark room as he clambered for the medkit and cleaned his hands with a sanitary wipe. After a bit more digging around he found his undertunic and threw it on, wincing at the soreness in his chest as he quickly tied it closed and left the crews quarters.

He needed to be anywhere but on the ship, anywhere far away from the low sound of Obi-Wan's dominating voice. As he jogged down the ramp he ran directly into Qui-Gon and who he could only assume was Master Tholme. 

Qui-Gon looked at him with a quirked brow, taking in his state of dress and the obvious discomfort on his face, "Are you alright, Anakin?" He asked and Anakin wondered if the man could be any more dense.

"Perfectly fine, Master, sorry." He said, still feeling rather nauseous. "My injuries might- might have been more extensive than I originally thought." 

Master Tholme looked to him with concern and pity, "It is not often someone tries to kill you with a lightsaber." He says, "I only wish Quinlan and I had gotten here in time to stop Xanatos' escape. He should be punished for his crimes against the Republic." 

Qui-Gon nodded in solemn agreement, "The fault is mine, I shouldn't have trusted him."

"It's only natural, Jinn." Master Tholme mused, "To feel attachment to our students. That's why we must train ourselves to let go." 

Anakin looked between them, too exhausted to interject. Their conversation was enough to extinguish the heat still pulsing in his veins. It wasn't enough to distract him from the fact that Qui-Gon had rather obviously let Xanatos escape, but he didn't have the capacity to be angered by it. He was still wounded and now tired from his rather eventful wakeup call. For the first time since the Clone Wars started, Anakin couldn't wait to go back to the temple.

"What about the blockade?" Anakin tried once he gathered his wits, folding his arms over his chest in an attempt to cover himself better.

"We've been told to hold our position until the Republic arrives and is able to properly handle the situation." Qui-Gon said, "Unfortunately, we were only sent to negotiate the terms of disbandment, we don't have the authority to stop the blockade without Republic interference."

Anakin frowned, looking down to his bare feet as he considered Qui-Gon's words. He had forgotten the strict regulations imposed by the Republic before the war. There were so many more hoops to jump through.

"Understood," He said finally, "and the slaves? Are they alright?" He asked, allowing his concern to bleed into the force.

The other masters softened and Qui-Gon reached his hand out to squeeze Anakin's shoulder, "They're just fine, Anakin. I want to apologize for not listening to you. Your concerns were justified and should have been a clear indicator of Xanatos' treachery. When the Republic arrives they'll be sorted into a refugee program where they can receive the help they need." 

Anakin blinked, awkwardly dipping his head in thanks, "I'm only trying to uphold the Orders integrity."

"Indeed." Master Tholme said, offering him a small smile, "From what Master Jinn tells me, you are quite extraordinary for your age, Knight Skywalker. Your connection to the force and your skill with a lightsaber are to be commended."

"An excellent example to our youth." Qui-Gon mused, "I only wish Obi-Wan could apply himself as you do."

"Ah, well, I think Obi-Wan is an excellent student." Anakin said, remembering Obi-Wan's words about how Qui-Gon hadn't wanted to take him as his padawan, "Myself and my padawan were very similar to the way he is now. Always on the move." 

Master Tholme nodded, "I see." He looked to Qui-Gon and arched his brow, "Speaking of the padawans, do you know where they went?" 

Anakin's felt his blush return and the heat which simmered away swoop low in his gut once more. He tried to hide it by acting nauseous and leaning against the shuttle, keeping his head down and covering his mouth.

"No idea." Qui-Gon said, alarmed when he noticed Anakin again, "Anakin, are you sure you're alright?" 

###

Obi-Wan noticed the change in his demeanor immediately. As soon as he finished his shower and came into the cabin of their shuttle. Anakin was sat applying bacta over the bruise on his chest and had flinched and ducked his head in embarrassment when he saw him. Obi-Wan furrowed his brows, offering him a polite nod.

"How is your wound, Master Skywalker?" He asked, attempting to ease the discomfort he felt in the force, only to sense that discomfort worsening.

Anakin pressed his lips together, "Fine." He said shortly, his voice lilting in the way Obi-Wan loved so much, "I only wish I could have gotten more sleep." 

It took a moment for Obi-Wan to process what Anakin was saying, his eyes widening in sudden realization, "Oh." He said, awkwardly tugging at his padawan braid before turning his back on him and preparing himself a cup of tea, waiting for the water to boil in the electric kettle, "I'm sorry to hear that." 

Obi-Wan could feel Anakin's eyes on his back, but when he turned to look at him, the other man averted his gaze and continued to fiddle with the packet of bacta. The same kind of bacta he had just used to kriff Quinlan into his bunk. The other padawan was still fast asleep in the crew quarters. Obi-Wan watched Anakin for a moment, wondering how he should proceed. Clearly Anakin cared about what he heard, but why? Was he actually a virgin? A Jedi who had committed to the outdated practice of celibacy? 

Obi-Wan heard the kettle beep and turned his attention back to making his tea. He prepared the leaves and hesitated a moment, wondering if he should make Qui-Gon a cup as well, "Master Skywalker, is Master Jinn in the cockpit?" he asked.

Anakin hummed, "No, he's filing a report with Master Tholme." he said, "And I told you to call me Anakin." 

Obi-Wan quirked his brow, "Sorry, I meant _Anakin_." He said, drawing out the syllables in an attempt at mockery.

Instead, the force turned hot and thick, like a heavy fog. Obi-Wan almost choked on the sudden change, arousal pricking at his skin as he whipped around and stared directly into Anakin's pretty blue eyes. The master bloomed perhaps the brightest shade of pink Obi-Wan had ever seen, his mouth opening and closing, before he averted his gaze and shifted in his seat. Obi-Wan's eyes flickered down to his groin where he could see the outline of Anakin's cock in his leggings.

"Oh." Obi-Wan exhaled, "Was it me who woke you up, Anakin?" he asked, wondering what might happen if he were to tease. 

The force moved strangely around him, obvious conflicting emotions spiraling around the other man like a vortex as Obi-Wan watched him with knowing eyes. He was able to pick up the periphery feelings, arousal, guilt... jealousy. Obi-Wan couldn't help the sudden and heavy satisfaction he felt, forcing himself not to grin as he shook his head and continued making his cup of tea.

"I suppose it was." He said nonchalantly, "I did tell him to be quiet. I am truly sorry, Master." 

Anakin's arousal felt like molten lava in the force, and his jealousy like forest fires, "You really don't need to apologize, Padawan." the Jedi murmured, grappling with himself in the force. As swiftly as it came, the heat was gone and the air felt cold without it as Anakin began shielding himself. 

Obi-Wan smiled into his cup of tea, taking a slow sip and enjoying the way Anakin's gaze flickered to his throat as he swallowed. He deliberated for a moment before making his way to the table Anakin was sat at and setting his cup down. He leaned forward, noting the way Anakin's eyes scanned up and down his body and the panic which creeped back into the force. He grinned, almost wickedly.

"Don't call me that, _Master Skywalker._ " he teased, "Obi-Wan is just fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Qui-Gon/Master Tholme: *Completely oblivious  
> Obi-Wan/Quinlan: *The equivalent of fucking in a car  
> Anakin: *Absolutely dying from embarrassment and conflicted emotions
> 
> Thank you for all your support! If you want to talk star wars with me, you can find me on Tumblr under the same username!


	8. in which Anakin is tortured by the inevitable future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update for you, my friend. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

The return flight to Coruscant was quiet if not a bit awkward. Anakin had spent a majority of it avoiding Obi-Wan as much as possible, his feelings for the other man making shame curl uncomfortably in stomach. He was married, his wife was pregnant, he was going to be a father soon. And yet, the way Obi-Wan's lips curved into that knowing smile, his quippy remarks, the casual and unkempt way he looked and dressed. So much of the Obi-Wan he knew and so much that he didn't know, wanted to know. He wanted more, hearing Obi-Wan's hot voice while Quinlan fell apart for him, the way he praised him so well, the way Anakin wanted that for himself.

He was shaken from his thoughts when they dropped out of hyperspace, Master Tholme and Quinlan dropping beside them in their own shuttle. He took a moment to roll back his shoulders, staring blankly at the city world of Coruscant as Qui-Gon made to break atmosphere. The council would be waiting for them upon their return and Qui-Gon had gone over the details of the blockade with him while the ship navigated them through hyperspace. Xanatos had broken Republic law, he had needlessly blockaded the planet Mygeeto from exporting its goods, and was responsible for the transportation and exchange of sentient property. Slaves, he had told Qui-Gon, to which the older man grimaced and explained that sentient property was the official term used by the Senate and thus would be the term used in their report. 

Anakin clenched and unclenched his fists, watching the sky fade from black to grey to the desaturated blue of early morning when he heard the cockpit door hiss open behind him.

"I see we've arrived." Obi-Wan mused, coming to stand between Anakin and Qui-Gon's seats.

Anakin couldn't help but glance up to him, taking in his ruffled state. Obi-Wan had recently shaved, his face smooth and freckled. His hair had been trimmed as well, neatly cut to meet the Orders standards. For the first time since they left Mygeeto, he was also properly dressed. His cream colored tunics pressed and layered properly over his usual undershirt and leggings. 

"I've contacted the temple already." Qui-Gon said, snapping Anakin from his reverie, "We've been cleared to land." 

With that, they made for the temple and swiftly finished docking procedures. It was far less of a hustle than it was in the future, and much less organized. One of the temple workers had scolded Qui-Gon for coming in too fast and landing on the wrong side of the hangar. Qui-Gon simply waved them off, calling it the will of the force while Obi-Wan sniggered in the background and apologized when Qui-Gon left. The padawan offered to fix his parking job but the worker merely shrugged, thanking him for the offer before shooing them away and going back to his work.

Anakin and Obi-Wan fell in step with each other as they made their way to the Council Chambers. Obi-Wan kept to himself the entire walk and the silence made Anakin somewhat nervous. He had gotten used to the other mans banter. When they finally reached the Council Chamber, Qui-Gon had already gone off and started his report, forcing Anakin and Obi-Wan to awkwardly dip their heads in apology as they stood behind him. 

"I'm sorry to hear about Xanatos." Master Windu said, rubbing his temple, "We will have to make a statement to the public firmly denouncing him. His association to the Jedi will only fuel distrust in the future." 

"I agree." Qui-Gon said, dipping his head in apology, "I only wish that he will regain some of his conscience."

Master Windu nodded before directing his attention to Anakin, "Knight Skywalker. How do you feel this mission went?"

Anakin tensed up, his hands folded in the sleeves of his tunic as he glanced around the council members, all of whom watched him expectantly, "I have nothing else to add." He said finally, "My only concern is that Xanatos will continue to cause problems for the Jedi and the Republic at large. I feel that it's enough to warrant his arrest." 

There were several nods about the room, a murmur of agreement. Master Windu nodded as well, "Thank you, Knight Skywalker."

"Discuss what to do with Xanatos, the council will." Master Yoda said, "Till further notice, Knight Skywalker, you are dismissed." 

Anakin blinked at them in confusion, offering a short bow, "Thank you, master." He gave a nod to Qui-Gon, who smiled to him serenely in return. 

Obi-Wan didn't look at him, instead focusing on some random corner of the room. Anakin felt the urge to get his attention but didn't think that would be appropriate. So instead, he gave one courtesy look to the other members of the Council before excusing himself to the hall, listening to the door hiss softly shut behind him. He got the sense that they wanted to discuss his test without him being present. It was better than being stood in the interrogation room like Ahsoka had been forced to, the masters judgement and false persecution raining down on her like a blanket of laser fire. The memory made his blood boil with rage, and he swallowed it down thickly before finally leaving the entry way, headed down the corridor. 

He stopped before one of the tall windows overlooking the senate district, the same one he had argued with Obi-Wan in front of not two cycles ago, in a different time. The hallway was much more peaceful here, masters and crechelings milling about. For a moment, Anakin found himself yearning for this life, yearning for the end of the inevitable war that hadn't even started yet. He wondered if it would ever end, if they were even close. His mind brought him back to Ahsoka on Mandalore, her sunset skin covered in blood and dirt from the campaigns, the way the stripes on her candy colored montrals and lekku frayed from the stress of battle, stress she should never have had to face. He thought of Obi-Wan's prickly beard and silver streaked copper hair, the cloud of exhaustion in his stormy blue eyes as he all but begged Anakin not to make things more difficult than they had to be. 

Anakin lowered his head, pressing his lips together as tears pricked the corners of his eyes and threatened to spill down his cheeks. How selfish was he to live in a time of such peace and prosperity, while his loved ones suffered? How selfish was he to yearn for a time long past? He wiped the tears from his eyes and exhaled heavily, lost in the golden glow of Coruscants gentle sunlight as the sun dipped over the horizon. He stayed in front of the window for a moment longer before turning away.

When he turned, he saw Master Windu standing behind him, the dark masters hands were clasped behind his back and his eyes were hard as steel. Anakin flinched, physically and in the force, his eyes still puffy and his nose somewhat clogged from his overwhelming swell of emotion. He blinked rapidly and quickly made to scrub at his face, willing away his tears.

"Master Windu- I didn't- Sorry, I didn't even notice you were there." He tried, though his voice broke and he cringed at the sound of it.

Master Windu hummed in response, turning away from him; "Why don't you and I take a walk, Skywalker." he said, starting to go before Anakin even had the chance to respond.

Anakin awkwardly ran to catch up with him, falling into step at his side. Master Windu didn't say anything nor acknowledge him, silently leading him through the temple. Anakin was about to ask where they were going before Master Windu came to a halt before one of the meditation rooms, the door hissing open and Master Windu waiting for him to step inside. He did so cautiously, panic crawling up his back. It was dark save for the slivers of light streaming in through the curtains. The room had two seats set across from each other and Anakin took the one closest to the door out of habit. In case he needed to make a quick exit. When the door shut, Anakin waited to hear it lock. It never did and soon Master Windu was sat across from him, crossing his legs up in a way that Anakin found to be rather juvenile. 

Once he was settled, Master Windu looked into Anakin's eyes, opening himself up to the force and waiting expectantly for Anakin to do the same. Anakin hesitated for a moment, not wanting the dark master to see his tumultuous emotion through the force. He figured that he didn't really have a choice in the matter, though, so he closed his eyes and dropped his head, letting his walls fall down and the scars on his heart bleed open.

He expected Master Windu to put his lightsaber on him, instead the Jedi master only sat there. Anakin could gleam nothing off him in the force, for Master Windu was perfectly serene. There was no hate or fear, only a peace Anakin had never known.

"You are in pain, Anakin." Master Windu says finally, "From fear and grief and hate. Why is that?" He asks.

Anakin opens his eyes to stare at him, opening his mouth, then closing it and looking away again, "There are just some things that you wouldn't understand, Master." He chokes out, not wanting to elaborate. He could feel his tears threatening to return and he tried again to push them away, into the force or buried deep in the confines of his heart.

Master Windu arched his brow to him, "How would I understand if you didn't tell me?" He asked.

When Anakin didn't respond, he decided to change his tactic, "Master Jinn gave nothing but glowing praise about you. He called your intuition remarkable, your connection to the force strong, your saberwork impressive. He said you confronted Xanatos about his wrong doings and raised your saber to protect and defend himself and Obi-Wan, as well as the slaves Xanatos kept aboard the ship."

Anakin listened to him, furrowing his brows and looking up now to meet the masters eyes. Master Windu leaned forward and arched his brow, "Tell me, Anakin, does that sound like an accurate retelling of events to you?" 

Anakin pressed his lips together, maintaining eye contact. He wondered how much Master Windu knew or thought he knew. He wondered if he didn't trust him now any more than he did in the future. Anakin clenched his fists. He desperately wanted what Master Jinn said to be true, desperately wanted to live up to the imposter in the master mind, but alas, he knew it wasn't so.

"No." He said softly, "I would not say that it is accurate." 

Master Windu nodded, leaning back now and taking in Anakin's crumpled form, "When the meeting adjourned, many of the council members decided that you had passed the test. Myself included. That is, until Padawan Kenobi approached me and asked to speak in private." 

Anakin felt his gut suddenly lurch forward, nausea blooming in the pit of his stomach, "What?" he managed feebly, his heart pounding against his ribcage. He could not help the feelings of betrayal and hurt, though he knew them to be unwarranted. This Obi-Wan did not owe him loyalty. This Obi-Wan barely knew who he was.

Master Windu watched him a moment before continuing, "Padawan Kenobi informed me that you wanted to kill Xanatos." he said, "He also informed me that your emotional response to discovering Xanatos' slaves was one of anger and hate, not those of concern and desire to protect. He sensed great darkness in you." 

Anakin opened his mouth, then closed it and looked down, "Yes." He said, feeling bile rise in the back of his throat, "I wanted to kill him. It's what he deserved."

"And yet when we asked for your opinion on the mission, you said he should be arrested." Master Windu said, tilting his head to the side.

"Yes." Anakin said again, "Because to kill is not the Jedi way."

Master Windu nodded, sighing heavily, "So you would not have killed him given the chance?" 

"I would have." Anakin gritted out, "I've killed before, and I've killed for less. I would have killed him." 

Master Windu arched his brow, "What are you talking about?" he asked, and Anakin could feel the minute shift in tension through the force. Could feel Master Windu's hand casual drop to the saber secured on his hip.

Anakin hesitated, standing up and pacing about the room feeling the tension curl further into the force, "You would not believe me." he said.

"Why don't you try it?" Master Windu asked, tracking him with his eyes.

Anakin started fidgeting with his sleeve, then his glove, anxiously clenching and unclenching his fist and rubbing his neck as he paced around. The room felt like it was spinning and he couldn't stop the words that came from his mouth; "Master, what if I told you that in the future, the galaxy is at war? What if I told you that there was a clone army fighting for the Republic? What if I told you that the Jedi served as generals for this army? What if I told you that I killed a Sith lord with my blade? Would you believe me? Would you tell me that I'm crazy?" He asked, the words spilling like blood in water and raising like a flood. Master Windu answered him with silence and Anakin could keep his secret no longer.

"What if I come from that future?" He asks, softer this time, "Would you believe me?"

Master Windu listened to him and Anakin held his breath. Finally, he spoke, "The force works in mysterious ways." he says, "And I can see through it that you are telling the truth. Though I don't understand, I can't bare to believe that war will scorch this galaxy. If what you've told me is true, the darkest days of the Republic are already upon us."

Anakin stared at him, mouth agape, "You trust me?" He asked, ignoring Master Windu's waxing poetics.

Master Windu held his hand up, "I wouldn't go that far." he said, "but I do believe you, Anakin. I could have come up with 100 different scenarios about who you were, and war general from the future would not have been one of them." 

Anakin flopped back down onto his seat, trying to process what Master Windu had said. His thoughts felt jumbled and sticky, full once more with the molasses he felt on the shuttle before departing from Mygeeto.

The dark master shook his head, taking a moment longer to process what he had just learned, "How is it that you got here in the first place, then? If you are from the future?" 

"I was in the archive, looking through a holocron." Anakin said, "I truly don't understand it myself. One moment I was in my time and the next I had your saber pointed at my face. Very in character, might I add." 

Master Windu arched his brow and Anakin smiled to him awkwardly, "You and I are not on the greatest terms in the future, master." 

Master Windu huffed a laugh and shook his head, "Why don't I doubt that? The way you act and talk, you're quite... exhausting." He shrugged, "But that is not a bad thing, Skywalker. And I still feel that you make for an excellent Jedi, however unconventional." 

Anakin stared at him for long moment before lowering his had, "You are much too forgiving, Master." He says quietly, "I've told you before- I struggle with a great many things."

"And I've told you before that all Jedi, myself included, struggle with these things." Master Windu says, "You do not have to be perfect. Not all of us are Master Yoda."

"What about Obi-Wan?" Anakin asked and regretted it when he did.

Master Windu shrugged again, "He almost failed to be a Jedi." he said simply, standing now from his seat, "Do not misunderstand me, Obi-Wan is an exceptional student. What he lacks in the force he makes up for with his persistence. But he is far from the greatest Jedi to have ever lived."

"This meeting is in confidence, Knight Skywalker. The only person who I will disclose what we've discussed to is Master Yoda. You've proven yourself to me and everyone else on the Council. Until we are able to send you back, which I don't know if that is possible, I suggest you rest and prepare for any instance where we might need you. Until then." He offers Anakin a short bow before leaving him alone with his thoughts. 

Anakin could not imagine Obi-Wan being anything less than perfect to the Council, to Master Windu or Master Yoda. He could not see him failing to do anything. He closed his eyes, taking a moment to find his balance in the force before standing and making his way to his designated room, almost in a dream like trance. Master Windu's words kept turning over and over in his head. The revelations he made. What they meant for him and the people he cared so deeply for. The door hissed shut behind him and he looked about his quarters as if at a loss.

"Am I trapped here?" He asks softly to the force. What greets him is a foreboding emptiness, a void where warmth and light should be. He slowly covers his face with his hands, falling back onto his futon.

"By the force," He sobs quietly, "I hope it's not so."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I said angst and fluff and smut I meant it  
> Thank you for all your support! You can find me on tumblr under the same username!


	9. in which Anakin has an emotional breakdown and doesn't have adequate coping mechanisms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays! This update starts out angsty and fluffy, and turns into smutty, so be prepared for some spice! Hope you guys enjoy!  
> Note the rating bump

Anakin had fallen asleep in his tunics and boots, waking up around midday both sore and disheveled. His head swam with a migraine, aching from too much sleep. After stumbling out of bed, he went for a shower in an attempt to clear his mind and scrub the sleep from his bones. When he finished, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Perhaps it was the bruise on his chest or the exhaustion in his eyes, but for some reason Anakin didn't feel quite right about himself. After fussing with his hair, he went to get dressed and decided to send his usual tunics back to the laundry. Which meant he had to wear the beige spare. Once he was dressed he looked at himself in the mirror again. He looked wrong, his hair, his face, the clothes he wore. An imposter dressed like a good little Jedi.

He felt numb, stood there in the center of his room staring blankly at the ceiling and trapped in a spell of inaction. He tried to sink himself back into reality, ground himself in the moment. It was impossible, the turbulent emotions he experienced earlier had given way to an emptiness that permeated every fiber of his being, leaving him adrift. He hadn't considered the potential of him never being able to return back to his time, back to Padme or Ahsoka or Obi-Wan. _Obi-Wan_. His anger flared and he had the urge to bring his saber to the walls and doors of his rooms, but he repressed it. He always did. He still couldn't believe Obi-Wan had betrayed him, had told Master Windu of his darker inclinations. _Did the Obi-Wan from his time do the same? Is that why the Council hadn't granted him the rank of Master? Was it all Obi-Wan's fault?_

Anakin left his rooms, careful to shield himself as he stepped into the Temple corridor. All around him, other knights and padawans walked passed, going about their day without any idea who he was or what he was feeling. Some offered him a nod, others a smile. Anakin found he couldn't smile back so instead he ducked his head and made his way down to the laundry room. Even though the force felt so alive, it fell on him like a dead weight, and no matter what he did the emptiness inside himself wouldn't go away. Everything was too loud and it echoed inside him like an endless chasm. He needed to distract himself, to get away from all the noise. 

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he ran smack into Master Billaba. The young woman made a rude noise, looking up to him and frowning deeply.

"Knight Skywalker?" She said, taking in the unfocused look of his eyes, "Are you alright?"

Anakin pressed his lips together and looked down, "No." he said shakily, "I don't think I am."

The panic Master Billaba pushed into the force was palpable, and she gently placed her hands on either side of Anakin's face as he began to shake uncontrollably, "Hey, hey, what- What's wrong?" 

Anakin closed his eyes and felt himself implode. Finally he let himself cry openly, crumpling into Master Billaba's gentle touch. All his pent up emotions suddenly hung open, saturating the force around him with his emptiness and despair. Master Billaba reeled against it, struggling to keep herself composed against his massive waves of anguish. 

"Anakin," She tried softly, awkwardly pulling him into a hug, "Anakin, it's okay. Let's- we can't be in the halls right now, lets go outside. Let's go to the fountains." 

Anakin barely registered that they were walking, letting Master Billaba lead him through the corridors, avoiding the other Jedi as they went. When they reached the room of a thousand fountains, Master Billaba took him to a patch of grass covered in flowers and had him sit down. 

"You stay here." She said firmly, "Did you have breakfast?" she asked, and he shook his head in response, "Then I'm going to get you breakfast. Don't leave, Anakin." and with that, he was alone once more. 

He felt cold and hot at the same time, awkwardly sat in the middle of the field. It reminded him of Padme and another spike of anxiety and despair attacked him. He was so caught up in his emotions that he didn't notice anyone else was there until a shadow came over him. When Anakin looked up to see who it was, he was greeted by the face of a young Luminara Unduli, her brows furrowed and her eyes showing with worry. She was dressed casually, her hair hidden underneath a loose fitting headscarf. Anakin wouldn't have recognized her if it weren't for the tattoos on her face.

"Master Skywalker, is it?" She greeted tentatively, "You seem... troubled."

Anakin flinched, he didn't like people calling him master. At first it had only been annoying, now it made him angry, "Just Anakin is fine." He assured, focusing on keeping his voice from trembling, "And I'm fine. Thank you for your concern." 

Luminara pursed her lips, "Anakin, then." She said, "May I join you?"

"You may," Anakin responded, frowning, "though I don't know why you would want to."

Luminara scoffed, sitting down beside him now and smoothing out the length of her skirt, "Wow," she teased, "And here I thought the boys were joking about you. I thought, _there's no way a Jedi would carry themselves like that_." She meant to ease him, but it didn't land right and she looked away awkwardly when he didn't react.

"Sorry." She said.

Anakin huffed a laugh, "You don't need to apologize," he said, rubbing his eyes, "I'm not very becoming of a Jedi right now. You're right to judge."

Luminara pulled grass up from around where she was sitting, humming thoughtfully, "Nobody is right to judge, Anakin." She stated it like a fact, "I just saw Depa abandon you here, and you looked so sad, I couldn't bare to leave you alone." 

Anakin was pleased that she didn't insist on calling him Master Skywalker like Obi-Wan seemed to. _Obi-Wan._ His head felt suddenly heavy, pulsing with the ache from that morning and a slurry of conflicted emotions.

"You mentioned boys earlier," he said, "you don't mean Obi-Wan do you?"

"And Quinlan." Luminara said, "They like to talk." 

"What do they talk about?" Anakin asked, starting to pull up the grass too, picking up flowers and piling them in his lap as he did.

Luminara gave him a look, "They were talking about your scar earlier. _How do you think he got it?_ " She was mocking Quinlans voice here, " _Oh, he told me he's always in the outer rim. Maybe he got into a scuffle with gangsters_." She answered herself, this time in Obi-Wan's voice, " _Knowing him, I bet he tripped and busted his face open on the stairs._ " 

"Cheeky." Anakin murmured, lightly touching the scar on his face, "But neither of those are correct."

"How did you get it, then?" Luminara asked, and she seemed genuinely curious.

Anakin chewed his lip. Master Windu said that their meeting was in confidence, and he didn't think that it would sit right if he told every other person he met that he was from the future. So he improvised.

"It was an accident." He said carefully, "I was sparring, and the person I was sparring with got a little too excited and cut my face open with her saber."

Luminara grimaced, "Ouch." 

"It could have been worse." he said, showing her his mechno arm, "I lost my arm in a different... sparring match." 

Luminara gaped at him, "Oh force, how are you so unlucky?" 

"Sometimes I think that I was made to suffer." He joked, "Ah, but- That's just the will of the force, isn't it?" 

"I don't know if that's how the force works." Luminara said, noticing his pile of flowers, "What're you going to do with those?" she asked.

Anakin blinked, looking at the flowers in his lap, "Ah, I didn't even notice I was doing that."

Master Billaba returned with a small package of food and she made Luminara scoot over so that she could sit beside Anakin. Master Shaak Ti joined them soon after, and she rested her head on Master Billaba's lap, complaining about her duties on the council while the other two women laughed. Luminara had tried to make herself a crown out of the flowers Anakin had picked, and it bothered him that she couldn't do it right, so he took it from her and fixed it properly. The way that Padme showed him when they were younger.

"Teach me how to do that." Master Billaba said, "I want to make one for Mace. Maybe he'll wear it to the council meeting tonight." 

Master Ti laughed and smiled broadly, her arm covering her eyes as she laid there, "If you make one for Mace, then you simply _must_ make one for Master Yoda as well." 

Anakin smiled to them, looking down a bit as though he were embarrassed and nodding his acquiescence.

He waited for Master Ti to sit up before showing them how to weave the stems together. Luminara was a quick learner, as soon as Anakin showed her how to do it properly, she excelled. When she was finished, she triumphantly placed the crown on Anakin's head. He blinked at her in confusion, letting the crown sit lopsidedly on his golden curls.

"There." She said, "Now you look like a prince." 

Master Billaba snorted, putting the crown she made on top of Anakin's head as well, "More like a jester." 

Master Ti followed suite and giggled as Anakin just sat there in the grass, their three crowns sat piled on his head. He wondered if they found him entertaining simply because he was new and different. In the moment, though, he didn't really care. They were content to be there with him and what he desperately wanted, more than anything else right now, was not to be alone.

Luminara's comm beeped with an incoming message and she frowned, standing and dusting the grass and dirt off her skirt, "I'm sorry, Masters- Anakin- I'm needed elsewhere. I promised Obi-Wan I'd show him the first three forms of Soresu." 

"Has he settled on a form yet?" Master Ti asked, her head resting on Master Billaba's lap again, now with her legs sprawled over Anakin's lap as well, "I thought he was learning Ataru?" 

"He was doing Jar'Kai last week." Master Billaba said.

Luminara shrugged, "He's being difficult right now. I think Master Jinn got tired of him being indecisive and gave up." She offered them a short bow before departing.

Anakin awkwardly continued pulling up grass, not sure what to do with his hands having Master Ti laying on him; "What do you think of him?" he asked finally, "Padawan Kenobi, I mean." 

"I admire his ability to keep Master Jinn out of trouble." Master Billaba offered, pulling up a fist full of grass.

"He only does that out of necessity." Master Ti said, "You know Master Jinn didn't want another padawan after what happened the first time. I sometimes feel like Padawan Kenobi had to figure out a way to make himself useful so that Jinn wouldn't just throw him away outright."

"You shouldn't say things like that, Shaak." Master Billaba admonished.

"You know I'm right." Master Ti sniped back and was rewarded with Master Billaba throwing grass in her face.

Anakin smiled at them, listening to Master Ti sputter and Master Billaba laugh. His despair from the morning had withered and was replaced with a tentative sense of ease. He wondered about Obi-Wan then, the padawans rebellion and submission, why he acted the way he did. It didn't seem to be much of a secret that Master Jinn hadn't been keen about taking him as a padawan. He wondered if his strict compliance to the Council and Jedi Code had something to do with that, as Master Ti suggested, or if it was something else. He wondered if it even mattered.

###

They stayed in the Room of a Thousand Fountains for hours, until the sun began to set on the other end of the horizon and the masters had to excuse themselves to attend their Council meeting. Anakin didn't stay much longer after they left, getting up and carefully placing the flower crowns into one of the compost bins near the entrance. Since it was late evening now, many of the younglings had been sent to bed and the older Jedi were meditating or having conversations over tea, leaving the Temple corridors barren. Anakin considered getting himself some dinner when he felt the force tug him in the direction of the training salles.

It was well after hours for lightsaber training and most of the rooms should have been locked up by then. The force guided him to one of the furthest rooms and he hesitated before opening the door to the observation balcony. He shielded himself as he entered, looking down on the mat to see Obi-Wan running through one of the katas for Soresu. The padawans shoulders were bare, his hair a sweaty mop on his head. Anakin remembered Luminara saying that she would be showing him the form, but Luminara was nowhere in sight. Anakin leaned on the entryway to the balcony, silently observing Obi-Wan and wondering how long he had been practicing.

The padawan went through the form with ease, but towards the end he missed a step and the force became stilted, saturated with Obi-Wan's annoyance. He deactivated his saber and paced around the mat, grumbling to himself before stopping and reigniting his blade, going through the form again quickly and sloppily. Anakin frowned at him, drumming the fingers of his mechno hand on his arm before pushing further onto the balcony and quietly making his way down the stairs. When he reached the landing to the training room Obi-Wan had missed the same step and was about to chuck his lightsaber at one of the walls.

"You keep missing the step because you're not bringing your block down the way you're supposed to." He says, keeping himself short. 

Obi-Wan looked at him over his shoulder, immediately throwing his shields up and disappearing in the force; "I didn't know you were a master of Soresu too." He sniped, sounding annoyed and frustrated.

Anakin's lip twitched, "I'm not, but the man who trained me certainly was." he huffed, folding his arms over his chest, "Why isn't Master Jinn helping you? Luminara told me she was walking you through forms today, but she's still a Padawan, isn't she?"

Obi-Wan frowned and looked away, twirling his saber awkwardly, "Master Jinn told me that I had almost perfected my Ataru. That I should stick with it instead of bouncing around to other forms. He already indulged me by teaching the basic sets for Jar'Kai, he told me anything else I wanted to learn I would have to learn on my own. So here we are." he gave Anakin a pointed look.

"Does that satisfy you, _Master Skywalker?_ " 

Anakin felt his anger wake from dormancy, suddenly igniting his saber and striking Obi-Wan. The padawan yelped, catching the other man's blade with his own. If he didn't have the aid of the force, Anakin might have struck him down.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" He seethed.

"Don't-" and he strikes.

"Call-" again. 

"Me-" again. 

"That!"

In a few quick strokes he has Obi-wan off the mat and pushed into the far wall. He knocked Obi-Wan's saber out of his hand and brought his own to the younger mans neck. Obi-Wan glanced down to the blade before lifting his gaze to meet Anakin's, his lips pressed together in a defiant line.

"And why not? It's your title, isn't it?" Obi-Wan asked, and then Anakin felt the younger mans knee pressing between his legs.

Anakin made a choked off sound, blushing darkly; "Because I don't like it, _Padawan._ "

Obi-Wan just watched him, "Than what do you like?" He asked, "I'm desperate to know." 

Anakin deactivated his lightsaber and stared at him. His anger collapsed in on itself, leaving him with a vague sense of confusion and desire. The padawan tilted his head, taking the opportunity to gently put his hand on Anakin's cheek, lightly pressing his thumb across the bone. The noise that came from the back of Anakin's throat made Anakin startle back, hot and embarrassed. Obi-Wan just kept watching. He offered him a slow smile, pushing off the wall and calling his saber to his hand. 

"Spar with me." He said, and it wasn't a question or an offer, rather a command and Anakin found that he couldn't disobey.

He shuffled to the other side of the mat, throwing off his stupid beige tunics till he was bare chested. Obi-Wan stared at him, taking him in before activating his saber and twirling it lazily.

"The beige is growing on me."

"Save it." 

Obi-Wan grinned and Anakin activated his saber, staring him down across the mat like it was high noon. And then they danced. Their sabers collided in a captivating display, flashing lights illuminating them as they moved across the room. They pushed and pulled, more balanced now than they were the first time. It was as though they reached some sort of understanding. Anakin knew better than to underestimate his opponent this time, watching for the parries Obi-Wan used to bring his opponent closer. He let the force guide him, let it take away his emotions so that he could simply be. Lost in the heat of friendly competition.

When Obi-Wan did manage to stick to a form, he was a devastating combatant. The padawan was a natural at Ataru and he wasn't holding anything back. Their first duel was to test Anakin's abilities as a Jedi, after all, not the game they played now. While Obi-Wan launched himself in the air, Anakin kept his feet firmly on the ground. He chose to move around as little as possible, not trying to give or take any ground. Eventually Obi-Wan got cocky and attempted to strike from above. Anakin saw his opportunity and took it. He grabbed Obi-Wan by the arm and threw him down on the mat, straddling the padawan's hips with his saber once again pressed to Obi-Wan's throat.

"Yield." 

Obi-Wan looked up to him, breathing heavily and shifting underneath him. Anakin moved to bring his saber closer, but felt Obi-wan roll his hips up, pressing his stiff cock against Anakin's ass. He inhaled sharply, freezing in place and looking down to the other man in shock. Obi-Wan offered him an innocent smile.

"Fine." The other man said softly, snaking his hand up to the back of Anakin's head and pulling him down, his lips ghosting against Anakin's with the promise of a kiss, "I yield." 

Anakin held his breath, unsure if Obi-Wan knew what he was doing, unsure if _he_ knew what he was doing. Obi-Wan kept watching him, waiting for him to pull away. When Anakin didn't, the padawan took it as permission to continue, pressing his lips softly against Anakin's and kissing him slowly. Anakin moaned quietly, squeezing his eyes shut as the heat returned, settling low in his stomach. Whatever anxiety he had felt, whatever sadness or despair or anger that was left, had been extinguished the moment their mouths met. When the kiss broke Anakin pulled back, his eyes wide with panic. _What in the Galaxies was he doing?_

"You okay?" Obi-Wan teased, "Was that your first kiss?"

Anakin shook his head, the movement jerky and uncoordinated, "No- it wasn't. I've kissed before." He said indignantly.

"Have you slept with anyone?" Obi-Wan asked, his hand moving from the back of Anakin's head down to his shoulder, then his chest.

Anakin pressed his lips together, his face blooming scarlet as he looked away in embarrassment, "Yes." He said, his voice cracking.

"With a man?" Obi-Wan asked again, quieter this time, letting his hand move down to Anakin's stomach, feeling it jump at the contact.

"No." Anakin said hoarsely, "I've never- are we-?"

"Only if you want to." Obi-Wan promised, "It's entirely up to you."

Anakin stared at him. Obi-Wan was completely relaxed, laying back on the mat with Anakin straddling his hips. It seemed natural for him, like this sort of thing happened all the time, like this was something he expected to happen. Anakin had the dawning realization that anyone could walk in and see them, making himself fluster further. He needed to make a decision.

"Not here." He said finally, "I- We can't-"

"Your room, then?" Obi-Wan offered, patting Anakin's thigh, "You'll have to let me up." 

Anakin managed to get to his feet, however uncoordinated. He watched Obi-Wan gracefully hop up, watched him run his hand through his hair and toss the padawan braid over his shoulder. Obi-Wan smirked at him, leaning into his space and pressing another chaste kiss to his mouth. They broke away and Anakin chased him a bit, making a needy sound as he did. Obi-Wan chuckled softly and rewarded him with a peck on the cheek. 

They dressed and made their way back through the temple corridors, being sure to avoid the other Jedi as they went. Once they made it to his room and Anakin locked the door, Obi-Wan pulled him down, pressing their bodies together.

"You're sure you want this?" The padawan murmured, "I don't want any ambiguous feelings. Yes or no, tell me now." 

"Yes." Anakin managed to breath out, "Yes- it's- I-"

"Good." Obi-Wan said, kissing him again and tugging at his tunics, "These need to go." 

Anakin bit his lip, awkwardly fumbling with his belt and obi, letting them drop to the floor before pulling off his tunic. Obi-Wan watched him for a moment before pulling his own tunic over his head and tossing it haphazardly to the other side of the room. Anakin pulled his leggings down and hesitated at his undercloth, not sure if Obi-Wan meant for him to be completely undressed.

Obi-Wan was shucking off his own undercloth then, nude as he looked over to Anakin and scanned him up and down. He once again moved into Anakin's space, putting his hands on him, gently tracing the tips of his fingers down his chest and abs.

"Nervous?" Obi-Wan asked, arching his brow.

"Not really." Anakin lied, twitching as Obi-Wan sunk to his knees and pulled at the waistband around Anakin's hips.

Obi-Wan glanced up to him for a moment, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the wet spot on the cloth. Anakin's cock twitched and he made a little noise in the back of his throat, hesitantly placing his hand on the other mans head, running his fingers through the soft copper hair. Obi-Wan closed his eyes, leaning into the touch before pulling Anakin's undercloth off. Then he got his mouth on him, taking him all the way to the back of his throat. Anakin moaned loudly, molten sparks of arousal shooting through his veins as Obi-Wan's expert mouth began working him towards a swift climax. When Anakin felt himself getting close he gripped Obi-Wan's hair and pulled him back. Obi-Wan let his cock fall from his lips with a wet pop, and he leaned forward, tugging against Anakin's grip on his hair to kiss the tip.

"Too much?" Obi-Wan asked, making sure to catch Anakin's eyes, "Or do you just like my mouth that much?"

"I like it better than the backchat." Anakin managed to say, still trying to get on top of his arousal. He was already so close.

Obi-Wan smirked, looking away almost bashfully, "Really?" He asked, standing and catching Anakin in another kiss.

Anakin moaned when he tasted himself. It felt strange and unfamiliar, so different from the type of foreplay he was used to. His mind was far away from what he was used to, though. With Obi-Wan pushing him down and getting between his legs on the futon, bacta smearing against the pucker of his hole and making him jolt and groan in discomfort, Obi-Wan hushing him and pushing his fingers inside, preparing him slowly- the war, his master, his padawan, his _wife_ , they all felt like distant stars. He didn't want to think about them, not here, not now, not with Obi-Wan working him open with his experienced hand. He didn't know if it was supposed to be like this, he wanted to know if he was doing it right. Just as he was about to open his mouth and ask, Obi-Wan crooked his fingers.

"AH!" Anakin tried to squirm away, feeling a bundle of nerves explode inside of him, making his muscles spasm and almost tipping him over the edge.

"Force," Obi-Wan breathed, grabbing Anakin's hip and holding him still, "You've really never done this before?" 

Anakin shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to breath properly.

"You're doing well for your first time, then." Obi-Wan praised softly, "I can't wait to be inside of you. I've wanted to know what it feels like-" he pressed against the bundle of nerves again, making Anakin choke and writhe, "since I met you on the roof." 

He eased his fingers out then, slowly, and Anakin felt himself clench around nothing. Obi-Wan watched him for a moment, and Anakin could feel through the force how satisfied he was see him laid out like this. He blushed darkly and turned his head away, covering his face.

"Don't just look at it." He whined.

"Why not?" Obi-Wan asked, "It's so good. _You're so good for me, Anakin._ " 

Anakin shook his head, still not looking even when he felt something else nudging against his hole. He gasped when Obi-Wan pushed into him, and it made tears prick the corners of his eyes. Obi-Wan groaned in satisfaction, gently pulling Anakin's arm away from his face. Anakin squeezed his eyes shut tighter, until Obi-Wan leaned down and peppered his face with kisses. He was slow and gentle, and Anakin found that his body acclimated to the feeling quickly. He hesitantly opened his eyes and the other man grinned, grabbing his curls and pulling his head back, sucking a mark on his neck. It was enough for him to make him come, moaning as his orgasm crashed through him. Obi-Wan rode him out through it and he whined from being over stimulated.

"Can I come in you?" Obi-Wan asked, "Or do you want me to pull out? Fuck, _Anakin_ , I'm so close!"

"Not-Not inside, don't- You can't come in me!" Anakin stammered, even though it was so hard for him to think.

Obi-Wan snarled, thrusting in one final time before pulling out and coming over Anakin's stomach. Anakin gasped, his eyes falling shut as he felt his own cock twitch and give one final, valiant spurt as a second orgasm came over him. He hadn't felt anything quite like it before. He was so blissed out that he didn't register when Obi-Wan had gotten up, barely noticed the sound of a running facet. Obi-Wan came back and cleaned him up with a wet washcloth, and soon the padawan was laying down with him on the futon, grabbing the blanket and pulling it up over them. Anakin felt lost in a haze, nerves fluttering in his chest once the high from his orgasm faded away.

But then Obi-Wan was there, and Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around him and pressed a kiss to his back and told him in a low tired voice that he should go to sleep. Anakin closed his eyes, his physical and emotional exhaustion begging him to rest. It wasn't long before he was swept into a sea of unconsciousness, without any dreams or premonitions to wake him, without the regret that was sure to greet him in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin: Please have sex with me so I can forget about my problems  
> Thank you for all your support! You can find me on Tumblr under the same username!


	10. in which Obi-Wan talks about the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll with updates recently! I hope you all enjoy the chapter!

Anakin wasn't sure what to expect when he woke up the next morning. Being alone was certainly not the first thing that came to mind. It was about 0400 when he surfaced, his body feeling the good type of sore. He rolled onto his back, noticing that the space Obi-Wan had vacated was still warm. Anakin stared at the ceiling for a moment, closing his eyes and shifting his body, only for a low groan to escape passed his lips. The ghost of Obi-Wan's touch haunted him, even after he had been abandoned. _Their little rendezvous didn't mean anything. It was an emotional reaction, he was just doing it to blow off steam._ He told himself this, but it didn't stop the waves of guilt that followed the realization of what he had done.

 _Padme._

Anakin thought he might vomit, shuddering and covering his face. Just then, the door to his room opened and shut, and he peaked between his fingers to see Obi-Wan holding a cup of caf in one hand and a pack of death sticks in the other. The padawan arched his brow at him, shuffling towards the futon and offering him the cup of caf, which Anakin took hesitantly.

"I didn't think you would be awake." He said, "Sorry." 

Anakin stared up at him in the darkness of his room. Obi-Wan looked a mess, and Anakin only then realizing that the padawan was wearing his tunic, practically screaming _"I just had sex with Master Skywalker!"_ Anakin's face scrunched at the thought and he looked away.

"It's fine." He murmured, "Thanks for the caf."

Obi-Wan offered him a crooked grin, "And I borrowed your tunic. Sorry times two." He smacked the package of death sticks against his thigh, awkwardly shifting on his heels.

"Do you mind if I smoke in here?"

Anakin frowned, "I guess not. Open a window." He murmured, awkwardly fidgeting with his cup.

Obi-Wan nodded, going to the window and drawing back the curtains, revealing the dazzling neon lights of the Coruscant skyline. Anakin watched him crank the window open and take one of the sticks from the package, lighting it up with a familiar Mandalorian oil lighter. Obi-Wan sucked on the stick for a moment, taking it from his lips and blowing out a cloud of smoke. The smell was nostalgic. Anakin's mind supplied him with the memory of hiding in Obi-Wan's cloak as a youngling when he first arrived at the temple. The smell of ash and smoke clung to his robes and had filled much of Obi-Wan's living space. Within the week that he had become Obi-Wan's padawan, though, the smell went away. Anakin hadn't figured out why until just now, watching as the padawan stretched and smoked without care.

"Want a pull?" Obi-Wan's voice called, stealing Anakin away from his thoughts.

The padawan was leaning against the window sill now and arching his brow. He pushed away, coming back to the futon and sitting with his legs crossed beside Anakin. He took the stick from his mouth, holding it out to him imploringly. Anakin pressed his lips together, awkwardly taking the stick from the other man and bringing it to his lips. It burned when he inhaled and he forced himself not to choke and cough. Obi-Wan watched him, grinning and looking down after a moment.

"What?" Anakin asked, passing the stick back to him and frowning.

"Nothing." Obi-Wan said, "You're just- so beautiful."

Anakin flushed darkly and looked away, moving now to take a sip of his caf. It was lukewarm.

"I shouldn't have done that." Anakin said quietly.

Obi-Wan arched his brow at him, blowing out a cloud of smoke; "You know it's just a story the crechemasters tell, right? About how death sticks blur your connection to the force-"

"Not that, I meant-" Anakin waved his hand, flustered, "The other thing. The thing you and I did earlier."

"You mean sex?" Obi-Wan deadpanned, "Why not? You enjoyed it, didn't you?"

"I did enjoy it, but-"

"Then what's the issue?" Obi-Wan asked, putting the stick back to Anakin's lips.

Anakin opened his mouth and took it between his teeth, taking another slow drag and coughing a bit. Obi-Wan chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek and taking his stick back. Heat colored Anakin's face and he dropped his gaze, pulling his blanket over his shoulders and hugging his knees to his chest, resting his chin on them as he watched Obi-Wan casually lay back, tapping the spent bit of the death stick onto the floor.

"I'll clean it up later." He promises, closing his eyes as he lays there and smokes.

Anakin went back to his cup of caf, the bitter liquid sliding down his throat and making him grimace. It left a bad taste in his mouth coupled with the death stick still lingering on his tongue.

"Why?" He asks quietly and Obi-Wan opened his eyes to look at him.

"Why what?"

"Why me? Why'd you sleep with me?" 

"You're awfully hung up about it." Obi-Wan mused, smudging the stick out on the toe of his boot, "I slept with you because you were pretty. Because you were there. Because I wanted to."

"That's it?" Anakin asked.

Obi-Wan shrugged, "I met you less than a week ago, Anakin. There's nothing else between us."

Anakin felt his chest clench and he looked down. It hurt to hear Obi-Wan say that, even though Anakin knew it was true. This Obi-Wan, the sitting right beside him Obi-Wan, the _you're being so good for me_ Obi-Wan, didn't know about the difficult relationship they had in the future. He felt foolish, trying to grasp for a deeper meaning when there clearly wasn't anything there, and the thought made him sink into a sort of depression. This Obi-Wan didn't know him well enough to consciously betray him. This Obi-Wan didn't know about Padme. Granted, the Obi-Wan he was familiar with didn't necessarily know about Padme either. 

_Did it even matter?_ He wondered, his premonitions had gone away. The last time his premonitions stopped, his mother had died. Did that mean Padme was dead as well?

_Did it even matter?_

"Anakin?" 

Anakin blinked away tears, scrubbing at his face, "Sorry." He mumbled.

Obi-Wan watched him, his eyes showing with concern, "I feel like there's something you're not telling me." he said carefully, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No!" Anakin said hurriedly, "It's- It's not like that, I'm just- Conflicted."

"Conflicted?" Obi-Wan repeated, taking another stick from his package and lighting it up, "Conflicted about what?" 

Anakin closed his eyes, wondering if he should just tell Obi-Wan about who he really was, about the future, about the predetermined collision course they were slowly steering towards.

"I have a secret." He said finally, "Something that I've only told two other people." 

Obi-Wan arched his brow, "Okay?"

"Have you ever- have you ever had visions?" Anakin asked, wanting to dance around the subject for as long as possible.

Obi-Wan puffed on his death stick, seeming pensive, "Yes." He said finally.

Anakin blinked, surprised.

Obi-Wan took another long drag, closing his eyes as he blew the smoke between them, "When I was a youngling, I had an unusually strong connection to the unifying force."

"The unifying force?" Anakin asked, resting his chin on his knees again.

"The force exists in two ways. The living force is what we experience now, it's the midichlorians in our blood and all other life. Qui, for example, is very strong in the living force. He exists primarily in the present and takes the future as it comes. Master Yoda is the same way, _always in motion, the future is._ " Obi-Wan waves his hand, "The Jedi order only teaches about the living force, and thus neglects the unifying force. Because if you focus on the unifying force you could be lead down the path of the dark side."

Anakin frowned, "Is that how it works?" He asked, "How do you know about it then?"

"Like I said, I was very strong in the unifying force." Obi-Wan mused, "I was always in my head, constantly experiencing visions of the future. Sometimes I would see multiple different futures and would try to get the one I wanted most. It almost always backfired."

Obi-Wan met his eyes then, the sea glass hue glittering in the darkness of Anakin's rooms, "I saw many futures, but I remember two most clearly. One where I was a farmer and one where Master Jinn was killed by a Sith. I didn't want Master Jinn to die, of course, so I chose to become a farmer. I failed my trials on purpose. The council sent me to Bandomeer where my connection to the force would wither away. I accepted my fate and joined the Agricorps without regret." 

Anakin opened his mouth, then closed it, the force curdling uncomfortably at Obi-Wan's admission, "I didn't know about that." He said softly.

Obi-Wan shook his head, "Not many people do. I haven't told Qui about it- the visions of his death, I mean- he would probably scold me if I did." Obi-Wan finished off his death stick and looked up, "I was on Bandomeer for three months when Master Jinn came on an assignment. Our compound was attacked by a branch of the Offworld Corp and we were trapped in a transport with a bomb. I offered to to set it off at the door so that the others could escape. I don't know if it was admiration or pity, but Qui took me back to the temple after we survived the ordeal, and I've been his padawan ever since."

He smudged the stick out on his boot, "I think I would have preferred being a farmer." 

Anakin's felt his chest clench again, reaching out then and lightly combing his fingers through Obi-Wan's hair. The padawan went rigid, then relaxed, his eyes slipping closed. He couldn't imagine Obi-Wan not being a Jedi and it hurt to hear Obi-Wan open his wounds and bleed for him so genuinely. Anakin wanted to bleed for him too, but he found himself choking on his words. He didn't know how to tell him about Padme, about the future, about the war, about Qui-Gon's fate. How he betrayed the Code and acted selfishly when Obi-Wan himself had been so selfless. His Obi-Wan, who loved being a Jedi more than anything, had thrown it all away without hesitation if it meant saving the life of someone else. He didn't think he could do the same.

"What about you?" Obi-Wan ventured to ask, gently taking Anakin's mechno arm and bringing his hand down to lips, placing a reverent kiss on the metallic knuckles, "What visions do you have?" 

Anakin swallowed, watching as Obi-Wan then pressed his lips to the palm of his hand, then the joint on his wrist. He shivered at the sensory relay, looking away as his heart hammered uncontrollably against his ribcage.

"I've only ever seen people die." He said quietly, "I saw my mother die. I saw-" He shook his head when his eyes threatened tears, trying to hold it all in.

Obi-Wan took him by the chin then, turning his head and ghosting their lips together, "It's okay to cry." He says softly.

Anakin shuddered, his lips quivering as they kissed. It felt so wrong. It felt so right. He didn't ever want it to end, even as the tears stained his cheeks and a sob forced its way out his throat. Obi-Wan held him close, tangling their limbs together and mingling the heat of their bodies.

"I saw someone very close to me die." He said finally, unable to confess his forbidden love, wondering now if he could even call it love when he betrayed it so easily, "I don't know if she's actually gone yet. I haven't had the visions- I haven't had the visions since I showed up in the archive." 

Obi-Wan hummed quietly, rubbing calming circles against Anakin's upper arm the way he had done during the blockade over Mygeeto.

"All things are as the force wills them." Obi-Wan says softly, "And all things must die, Anakin Skywalker." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I cried writing this chapter :')  
> Thank you for all of your support! You can find me on tumblr under the same username!


	11. in which Anakin has a vision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Kicks down the door to my writers block, I've arrived.  
> Hope you guys enjoy the update!

Three standard months. 

That was how much time had passed since Anakin came here. He was standing in the observation balcony of one of the many training salles, watching Obi-Wan finish the final kata for Ataru. Stood beside him was Qui-Gon, whose shoulders stayed tense while watching his padawan, assessing his every move with the scrutiny of a fully realized Jedi master. Anakin had come to know both him and Obi-Wan more intimately than he had ever dreamed possible, and a small part of him wish he hadn't learned the things he now knew.

Qui-Gon was one of the Jedi Order's best and brightest warriors. He was knowledgeable in almost all things, the living force, lightsaber combat, diplomacy, but lacked the personal finesse of a teacher. His criticism of Obi-Wan was often harsh and uncalled for, even when Obi-Wan excelled, Qui-Gon gave him nothing more than a squeeze on the shoulder, or a short "Well done, padawan mine." It bothered Anakin like nothing else, especially since his master had always praised him well, even with the things he struggled with such as meditation. 

_"I think he needs more encouragement." Anakin had said once, while he and Qui-Gon were scouring the Archives. Anakin for information about the holocron which had sent him there, Qui-Gon for the simple pleasure of learning._

_Qui-Gon paused whatever he had been reading, the shadow of a smile on his face, "I'm not handing him any participation trophies if that's what you mean, Anakin."_

_Anakin had scoffed, "I'm just saying."_

_Qui-Gon hummed, setting his datapad down and stretching his limbs before combing one meaty hand through his long brown hair, "And I hear you- I don't expect you to understand my methods with Obi-Wan." He murmured, "It is a personal failing of mine, especially considering Obi's prowess. I've never known a more exceptional student."_

Anakin closed his eyes, rooting himself back in the moment on the observation balcony. Obi-Wan swung his saber, planting his feet and breathing heavily, sweat dripping off his skin in buckets. His form had been perfect, not even slightly out of place. Qui-Gon was clapping his hands, a broad smile spread across his face.

"Excellent work, Padawan," He says, "You've done well."

Anakin's eyes fluttered open and met Obi-Wan's gaze down on the mat. The padawan was practically glowing in the force, and Anakin couldn't help but smile, offering his own round of applause. Qui-Gon left them afterwards to report to the council, where Obi-Wan would be named a master of Ataru. Obi-Wan invited Anakin to their shared apartment, going for a quick shower while Anakin sprawled out on their couch and stared at the ceiling.

Three months.

He allowed himself to worry, briefly, about his own time. About the war. About Padme. He wondered if Ahsoka had successfully captured Maul (he was certain that she had) or if his master had finished Grievous off once and for all (no doubt he was capable of doing so). He wondered if the Chancellor had called for an end to the war, had offered the Separatist a chance for peace since their leader had died. _Doubtful,_ he thought to himself, _The Separatists would pay for their carnage first._

The door to the fresher hissed open and Anakin tilted his head back over the armrest to see Obi-Wan tying the front of his undertunic. The padawan looked upon him and offered a tired smile.

"Wow," He said, "If only I had a moment to spare for such relaxation." 

Anakin rolled his eyes, "The only thing stopping you is yourself."

Obi-Wan smirked at him, sauntering over and putting his hands down on the armrest, leaning and pressing a kiss to Anakin's forehead. Anakin scrunched his nose, batting the padawan away while Obi-Wan laughed. Their one time affair had turned into a frequent occurrence. They were familiar with each other's bodies, what they liked and didn't like, what made their toes curl in orgasm and what killed the mood immediately. Anakin wondered if Obi-Wan was insatiable enough for another round then and there, but then the padawan regressed, stepping away from the sofa and going to the kitchenette, scrounging around for a left over nutrient bar.

Anakin watched him from his place on the sofa, thoughtful for a moment, "Have you ever been to Dex's Diner?" He asked, folding his arms behind his head, watching Obi-Wan with half lidded eyes.

The padawan hummed, standing on his toes to look further into the pantry, "Never even heard of it." 

Anakin sat up with a start, "What? How have you not heard of it?"

Obi-Wan tossed him a look over his shoulder, "Master Skywalker, the last time I went into an establishment that doesn't serve alcohol, I was a youngling."

Anakin felt himself bristle momentarily, then relaxed. He had tried to stop Obi-Wan from calling him master forever now. At this point, he could only assume that Obi-Wan _liked_ doing it. Something about having a title which held so much power, and then having the wielder of said title bent in half while being pounded into the sleeping mat, was quite appealing. 

"I assure you this place serves alcohol." Anakin said, finding his feet and standing up, "Well, if you're not interested, I'll just go by myself-"

"I'll go with you." Obi-Wan said, rather hurriedly, going to his quarters to grab his outer tunic. Anakin only smiled. 

###

The lower levels of Coruscant were just as seedy as Anakin remembered. Grime clung to the metallic walls, droids and sentients scuttled down cramped alleyways and spat on anyone who looked at them the wrong way. It's familiarity was both comforting and unnerving. Anakin hadn't really stopped to consider if Dex's Diner existed yet or not, he assumed it did because Obi-Wan had frequented the place since he was first brought to the Jedi Temple after being liberated on Tattooine. 

_"Dex knows a thing or two. He's seen it all._ " Obi-Wan had told him once while they stuffed their faces with disgustingly good food. Anakin used to hate eating there because the food was too much, too greasy, too flavorful. When he got older, he grew to appreciate such cuisine, considering that the only food available during the war was nutrient mush. 

Obi-Wan stood beside him, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Anakin glared at him and the padawan stopped, rolling his eyes and sighing heavily. The expression reminded him of himself and Ahsoka all at once. They really did come from the same lineage, and the thought made his gut clench like it did any time he remembered his friends or his past. Three months later and he still hadn't fully accepted that he might never be able to go back, though now, he wondered if he even wanted to. The platform they were on slowed to a halt and they stepped off, making their way down a bustling street that still saw some thin streaks of light from Coruscant's topside. 

They rounded one of the street corners and sure enough, there it was. Dex's Diner was a smaller place, all vintage style metal work and neon signs, a poster over the front window read GRAND OPENING in bright red and yellow. Anakin was relieved to see it, glancing down to Obi-Wan who arched his brow.

"I thought you said you went to this place all the time?" Obi-Wan asked as they came up to the door.

"I- Well, yea, it's- They rebranded." He said awkwardly, pulling the door open and pushing Obi-Wan inside. 

The padawan made a rude noise as he stumbled, the door closing behind them. Anakin took a moment to look around, he hadn't ever seen Dex's look as clean as it did now and it made him question every other time he had eaten there under his masters insistance.

A pink WA droid came rolling out from the kitchen, then rolled back, as if the waitress droid was surprised to see them.

"Got customers, honey!" The droid called back into the kitchen, "Looks like a couple of Jedi."

There was the clattering of pots and pans then a slur of words Anakin didn't recognize but was certain were some offworld curses. Ducking out from within the kitchen was the impressive figure of Dexter Jettster, younger and more in shape than any other time Anakin had ever seen him. The basalisk spread his four arms wide, all his teeth showing as he grinned, "Welcome back! Or- Not back- Well, you know what I mean." He laughed and Anakin felt himself relax. Leave it to Dex to say the right thing at the right time.

"Hello, Dex." He said, offering a polite bow. Obi-Wan followed suit, more than a little wary.

They took their seats while the droid, Anakin remembered her name was Flo, went and got them menus and drinks. Dex was just as Anakin remembered him, save for being in better shape than he was in the future, and the alien was more than happy to sit and chat as he always was. Anakin guessed that Obi-Wan had never been to a place where they mingled in such a way, judging by the padawan's raised eyebrows and awkward shuffling. Anakin elected to ignore it for now, focusing his attention on Dex.

"Business slow?" Anakin asked, taking a sip of whatever drink Flo had dropped off for them. Just water this time.

"Way slow- I can't believe it!" Dex said gruffly, "It's been weeks and we barely get anything. I'm starting to think it might be a dud." 

Anakin shook his head, "These types of places are getting popular. I bet within the next four or five years, you won't have an empty seat ever again."

Dex smiled at him, seeming pleased, "You've got a lot of faith, my friend." He paused for a moment, patting his large hands on the table, "I can't seem to remember- What was your name? You remember me and I can't even remember you, apparently, can you believe it?" 

"There are lots of people in the galaxy," Anakin assured, "I'm Anakin, and this is Obi-Wan-"

"Oh, right- Right, I remember now." Dex waved his hand dismissively, "Jedi, right, I didn't think you had a student." 

It was times like this when Anakin was relieved that much of polite society required a person to remember the people they came across. Dex was trying to save face and Anakin was trying not to be suspicious in front of Obi-Wan, who still didn't know about where Anakin came from or who he really was.

_"Keep it that way."_ Master Windu had said to him while they were in the holocron vault one night, the first time Anakin had ever been down there. He was more than a little disappointed by the lack of ancient knowledge, _"The fewer people who know about it, the better."_

"He's not mine." Anakin assured, "My padawan, well, I guess you wouldn't know about it, but she left the Order awhile ago." 

"I'm sorry to hear that." Dex said, "Oh, since you're here, I've got a favor to ask you." 

Anakin arched his brow, leaning back while Flo put plates of food in front of them. He tried not to grin when Obi-Wan got his burger, his eyes widening at it's massive size. He did tell the padawan to get a smaller portion.

"And what's that?" Anakin asked, squirting some ketchup onto his plate.

"Haruun Kal. There's been whispers of civil unrest." 

Anakin frowned. If he remembered correctly, Depa was on a mission in Haruun Kal. It was a diplomatic mission securing a peaceful transition of power. She hadn't contacted the Jedi Order in two standard weeks, which was apparently more than a little odd. 

"Really? You don't have family down that way, do you?" Anakin asked, glancing to Obi-Wan who was thoroughly stuffing his face at this point. He wanted to heckle him for being rude, but restrained himself.

"Oh no, just a friend of mine. He's got a business in Korunnai, but get a load of this- I heard that someone named Kar Vastor was going to stage a coup in the name of the Upland Liberation Front." 

"Kar Vastor." Anakin closed his eyes, tilting his head from side to side, "Never heard of him. I'm assuming you want us to go check it out?" 

"If it's not to much to ask." Dex said, holding his hands in front of him apologetically.

"You'll owe me one." Anakin said, glancing to Obi-Wan and pulling the padawan's plate away. Obi-Wan made a rude noise but shut up when Anakin gave him a look. 

"Of course," Dex chortled, "I'll give you a drink too." 

###

"What was Dex saying about Haruun Kal?" Obi-Wan asked when they returned to the temple, stepping into the elevator that would take them up to the dormitories.

Anakin glanced to him, his hands behind his back, "If you were paying attention, you would know." he said.

Obi-Wan leaned into his side, resting his head on his shoulder, "Come on, Master Skywalker, can't you just tell me? I'm paying attention now, aren't I?"

Anakin flustered, clenching his fists and looking away. Obi-Wan had always been good at getting his way. 

"Civil unrest." He said finally, "If you recall, Depa was sent there on a mission about a month ago." 

Obi-Wan frowned, "We haven't heard anything from Master Billaba in like, a week, right?"

"Two, actually." Anakin said, closing his eyes when he felt a sudden shudder in the air. The Force was calling to him, pulling and pushing against his shields, and suddenly the air turned frigid. He felt himself fall, landing in a jungle with heavy vines hanging from massive trees, the sound of a lightsaber igniting, Depa wearing a black cloak and turning to face him, eyes burning gold. He had seen eyes like those before.

Anakin.

_Anakin._

"Anakin!" 

Anakin gasped, his eyes flying open while he laid flat on the ground, Obi-Wan kneeling over him with panic in his eyes.

"Anakin, what- Are you alright?" the padawan asked, and Anakin could feel the force becoming warm with his light and compassion. 

He exhaled shakily, his head clunking back down onto the elevator floor. 

"A vision," He rasped, scrambling to collect his thoughts, "I need to speak to the Council."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin: Fucking respect your elders.  
> Obi-Wan: No :)  
> Thank you for reading! A slower chapter this time, give us some space to breath. If you'd like to scream to me about star wars, you can find me on tumblr under the same username!


	12. in which good men go to war

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update! I'm excited to share this chapter with you!

They rushed through the temple halls, a golden sunset bleeding streaks of red through the tall windows in the corridor. Anakin had a headache splitting his mind, the pain scrambling his thoughts. He hadn't felt so manic since he killed Dooku, since the day his nightmares started, since his mother died. The force was pulled like a rubber band, plucking at it would cause it to snap, would send him spiraling out of control. Depa was in danger, he needed to warn the council, he needed to warn Mace.

Rounding the corner, Anakin and Obi-Wan ran smack into Shaak Ti, a startled yelp passing her blue lips as she stepped back under a slew of hurried apologies. Accompanying her was Master Fisto, his young face still round with a youth that Anakin didn't recognize. 

"Master Ti," Anakin greeted breathlessly, "I need to speak to the Council. It's urgent." 

Shaak frowned, her eyes falling to Obi-Wan as the padawan averted his gaze before flicking back to Anakin, "We can speak about it here, if it is so urgent. The Council is in recess, half our numbers are off world, they can't-"

"It's about Depa." Anakin hissed, surprising himself with the venom in his voice.

The two master exchanged a glance.

"Knight Skywalker," Master Fisto said carefully, the green tentacles sprouting from the back of his skull squirming in discomfort, "I think you need to slow down. Take a deep breath, center yourself, then tell us about Depa."

Anakin made a frustrated noise. Of course they didn't want to act immediately. 

He flinched when Shaak placed one of her delicate hands on his shoulder, her dark eyes showing with concern. Her expression reminded him of Padme and his gut twisted. He felt sick. Obi-Wan hadn't moved from his side but now looked at him with a similar air of concern.

"Anakin," He tried softly, "You are pretty worked up right now-"

"Yes! Why aren't you?" Anakin snapped back, "Depa is in danger!"

Shaak continued looking at him, a slurry of emotions flashing over her features, "Why is Depa in danger?" she asked, commanded rather. Anakin found serenity in her voice and immediately latched onto it, taking her shoulders in his hands and squeezing them.

"I don't know," He said earnestly, "I- I had a vision, in the Force." 

"Visions can often be misleading." Shaak said, allowing Anakin to tether himself to her, the eye at the center of his storm.

"This one wasn't." Anakin said, "I know what I saw, I know what I felt- I've only felt it once before-" He had to stop himself, before he said too much. The realization hit him like a star ship out of hyperspace and he forced himself to breath, to close his eyes and root himself in the moment. The other Jedi around him were visibly tense, their wariness bleeding into the Force.

"I need to speak to Mace." He said finally, "If the Council won't hear me, maybe he will."

Shaak pressed her lips together, "Master Windu is already worried about Depa, Anakin. If you come to him with this- this vision, it would only further that worry." 

"I don't understand why you're not worried!" Anakin said, "We haven't heard anything from Depa in two weeks. Not to mention, I've gotten word that there's civil unrest on Haruun Kal-"

"I am worried." Shaak interrupted, moving her hands now to rest on Anakin's, gently removing them from her shoulders, "But a vision and a rumor aren't enough for the Council to act." 

Anakin wanted to scream in frustration. This was the problem with the Council- the Jedi- they never acted when it mattered most, they never took initiative, they never-

"However."

Anakin blinked, his head heavy as his spiraling thoughts slowed, like they were being pulled through syrup. Every part of him sought immediate release, but instead he waited and held his breath.

Shaak sighed, rubbing her forehead, "Against my judgement as a member of the Council, I think it's worth investigating." she turned away then, flashing him a conspiratory, yet gentle smile, "I'm giving you my personal permission to go investigate the situation on Haruun Kal. You will go alone and you will report back immediately if you find anything out of place. Do I make myself clear?" 

All at once the weight in his mind and body lifted, and in the moment he felt star struck. All he could do was dip his head in a deep, respectful bow.

"Thank you," He breathed shakily, his eyes threatening tears.

"Thank you."

###

"So you're going to Haruun Kal?" Obi-Wan asked, watching Anakin as he hurriedly packed his things into a small duffle bag. 

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Anakin muttered, stuffing the bag with an extra tunic and cloak. 

"Alone?"

Anakin paused then, looking up to see Obi-Wan standing over him. The padawan crouched down before him, tossing the long braid over his shoulder and seeing him with those emphatic blue-green eyes. They reminded him of rooftops on Naboo, the stained glass windows of Mandalore. Beautiful and exasperated, just as they had always been. Anakin looked away, his lips drawn together in a tight line.

"Those were Master Ti's instructions, Obi-Wan, you were standing right next to me." he managed to bite out, fighting the blush that was creeping up his neck.

Obi-Wan continued to watch him, "Why Master Skywalker," He taunted, "I didn't take you as one to blindly follow the Council's will."

"And I didn't take you as one to disobey it." Anakin shot back, hesitating a moment before putting his hands on Obi-Wan's shoulders, squeezing them gently, "I don't think you will understand my reasoning- But, you cannot come with me." _I can't risk losing you, not like this._

Obi-Wan brought his hand up to the back of Anakin's neck, weaving his fingers in the hair at his nape before yanking his head back. Anakin made a rude noise, then gasped when he felt Obi-Wan press his lips to the tender flesh of his neck, just beneath the sharp edge of his jaw.

"Why not?" Obi-Wan murmured against him, "You don't think I can help you?"

Anakin's eyes fluttered close, his cheeks burning as Obi-Wan sucked his skin, leaving a mark just visible above the collar of his tunic. 

"It's not that-" He breathes, his panic and vision far away in the moment, muddled by the presence of _Obi-Wan_. 

Obi-Wan touching him, kissing him, being attached to him and vice versa. Anakin had always been protective of his master, but this was different. This Obi-Wan wasn't the perfect Jedi Anakin knew him to be, this Obi-Wan was _his_ in the way that Padme had been his. Three months and he had been enchanted by the younger man, his freckled skin and soft, coppery hair.

"Than what is it?" Obi-Wan asked, pushing Anakin onto his back and straddling his hips, "Are you afraid, Anakin?"

Anakin swallowed, his throat dry as he looked upon the radiant man above him. _Yes,_ he wanted to say

"Afraid of what?" He whispered instead.

"That you'll lose me?" the padawan asks, undoing the belt and obi around Anakin's waist, letting his dark tunics fall open to the golden planes of his chest. 

He looked away, demurred, rather. Obi-Wan smiled at his coyness, lightly tracing his fingers down Anakn's muscled body, fiddling with the waistband of his leggings.

"I'll come back to you." Anakin gasped, bucking and making Obi-Wan laugh as the younger man pulled the waistband down teasingly, then let it snap back against his taught muscles.

"Oh, I know you will." the padawan said, pressing down on Anakin's stomach before leaning forward and capturing him in a kiss, "Be quick, though, I don't want to get bored." 

Anakin returned his kiss, his mind hazy with pleasure when Obi-Wan suddenly withdrew, zipping up Anakin's duffle and dropping it onto the other mans chest. Anakin nearly shouted, his brows furrowed in confusion and frustration. Obi-Wan grinned at him as he stood, folding his arms over his chest.

"I'll have you when you come back." He promises.

"What if I die on Haruun Kal?" Anakin returns, tossing the bag away and finding his feet, crowding into Obi-Wan as the younger man simply looks up to him, his eyes glittering and defiant.

"I don't think you'll let that happen." Obi-Wan mused, resting his hand on Anakin's cheek and gently rubbing his thumb against the bone, "You're impossibly stubborn, after all." 

###

14 hours of hyperspace travel was nothing to Anakin. He had spent more hours on the bridge of the Resolute than he had on the ground in star systems at the very edge of the Republic. He did not hide his relief when the streaks of blue faded into the black canvas of space, despite being utterly alone. He did a quick check of the specs before pressing forward with the steering yolk, breaking atmo and heading for the surface of Haruun Kal. The planet was known for its heavy vegetation, jungles that rivaled Kashyyyk in size and expanse. The ships comm system beep with an incoming call and he answered it without looking.

 _"Knight Skywalker, where in the Galaxies are you!?"_

It was Mace. Anakin grimaced slightly, debating if he should just drop the call but thought better of it, punching in the coordinates of Depa's last known location.

"Did Master Ti not tell you? I'm on Haruun Kal, I just broke atmo." Anakin said, ignoring the strangled sound that registered as a burst of static over the comm.

_"No, I was not made privy to this. What are you doing on Haruun Kal?"_

Anakin hesitated, not for the first time, "I had a vision through the Force," he said finally, "I have reason to believe Depa is in danger, so I convinced Master Ti to sanctify a recon mission."

 _"You talk like a soldier."_ Mace sniped at him, sounding annoyed.

Anakin grinned, "I told you, I'm a general-"

 _"Serving the Galactic Republic, yes, I know, Skywalker."_ Mace finished for him, his voice becoming distorted as the ship made to land.

Anakin checked the diagnostics one more time before standing, "I can't help but notice you're not ordering me to return to the temple?"

For a moment only silence and static answered him. Anakin was beginning to think he lost the call when Mace finally responded.

_"As much as I hate to admit it, Skywalker, I too think Depa is in danger. I thought it was just concern brought forth by my attachment, but coupled with your vision, I feel that my concerns are more than justified."_

Anakin snorted, transferring the call to the commlink on his wrist as he made his way out of the cockpit and to the small airlock of the ship. The metal groaned and hissed around him as he lowered the boarding ramp into the darkness of the jungle. A quick environmental scan had told him that any large non-sentient creatures had scattered when he made to land. It also told him Depa's shuttle was only 20 clicks East.

"Why didn't you come here yourself, than?" He asked, being sure to open himself to the force as he made his way into the jungle foliage.

 _"You know of my attachment, I've told you many times how I feel about Depa."_ Mace explains, _"The hardest part of forming a strong bond with our students is having to let them go. My attachment to Depa would have done more harm than good, I wouldn't have been able to think clearly and do what had to be done."_

"And what has to be done?" Anakin asks, feeling suddenly cold despite the humidity of the jungle. He stopped, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. The jungle was eerily still, a void in the force.

 _"I had a vision too, Skywalker."_ Mace confessed, _"I saw my Padawan fall to the dark side."_

Anakin heard a saber ignite behind him. All at once the force came back to him, alive and blaring a warning louder than the bombs of war. He was just barely able to dodge the green blade of a lightsaber as it ricocheted through the trees. He was even less prepared to ignite his own saber, bringing it up to parry the other Jedi's deafening blow. Anakin pushed their blades together, his eyes widening when their gazes met. Depa's eyes were a sour shade of yellow, brimming with madness. The force curdled then, dark and ugly, congealing in a way that made Anakin feel sick with nausea.

 _"Skywalker- Anakin, what's going on!?"_ He heard Mace shouting into the communicator but before he could answer the call dropped, static and white noise and the fizzing of their sabers as they collided in a frightening display of power. Three months, and Anakin had not felt fear like this, had not circled a friend whose wild eyes spoke of nothing but hunger. For blood, for violence. 

"What happened here?" He cried desperately, "Depa, what-"

She fell upon him, and the darkness followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan: When will my husband return from war?  
> Anakin: *getting his ass beat by Depa* I'm _trying_  
>  I hope you enjoyed reading and thanks for all your support! If you would like to talk star wars to me, you can find me on Tumblr under the same username!


	13. in which Anakin finds the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update, for you! I hope you enjoy!

Juyo, and it's variant Vapaad, were the most unpredictable and deadly lightsaber styles. Rarely were they taught within the safety of the Jedi temple, and with good reason. Juyo was all about passion, about erratic attacks spurred by the wielders emotion. Without the caution usually held by the masters who wielded it, Juyo was devastating, and Depa Billaba wielded it's annihilations perfectly. Anakin was on his back foot the moment she struck, and hadn't gained any ground as they danced through the ever growing thickness of the jungle. The plants that hid their path were mowed down in flurries of blue and green, the glaring red feedback every time their sabers collided flashed before his eyes like blaster bolts on the front. Their dance made Anakin feel nauseous, memories spilling of his encounters with Dooku and Ventress, Savage, Maul, and later General Grievous. He had almost forgotten himself in a moment of raw panic, capturing Depa's blade with the force and moving to take her arm. Of course, Depa hadn't been granted the rank of master, much less served on the Jedi high council, for nothing. 

The moment she felt his intention in the force, Depa dropped her saber and launched herself back, vanishing into the safety of the tree line. Anakin dropped into a crouch, his breathing heavy and uneven. He brought a shaky hand up to his face, smearing away the sweat and dirt before pushing back the curls on his head. His eyes went in and out of focus as he stared down at Depa's discarded saber, it's shiny metal hilt glinting in the dappled light of the jungle. 

_This weapon is your life_. He remembered Obi-Wan always used to tell him that every time he lost his saber. Perhaps it was a metaphor, for how lost he had been in the force, and how lost Depa seemed to be now. Had she abandoned her life as a Jedi completely? Or was there something else at work here?

Anakin wondered whether or not Depa would return, wondered what he should do. Wondered what Obi-Wan would do. He exhaled slowly, collecting his thoughts before tapping the commlink on his wrist and attaching the two lightsabers to his belt as he began making his way back to the shuttle

"Master Windu, do you hear me? this is Knight Skywalker. I hate to be the barer of bad news, but I'm afraid something awful has happened on Haruun Kal." Anakin said, his head splitting with another headache. He closed his eyes against the pain before continuing, "Your vision- About Depa falling to the dark side, I'm afraid that it's true. She has temporarily eluded me, but I have her saber. I'm not sure what exactly is going on here-"

His skin prickled and a wave of anxiety came over him. He paused his walk, looking into the darkness that surrounded him. The force and the jungle itself had become eerily still once more, just as it had been before Depa made her attack. Anakin frowned, looking over his shoulder than back to his front. He scanned the trees for a moment longer, about to continue on his way when he heard the soft clicking of multiple blasters disengaging the safety.

From behind the trees, an entire battalion of guerrilla fighters appeared. Their faces were smudged with black and green paint, scratched up armor and tattered clothing provided them with perfect camouflaged in the thick foliage. From the mess of fighters, one soldier emerged who Anakin pinned as the leader. Anakin found himself sizing him up, taking in the his dark and scarred flesh, the metal armor covering his shoulders. Depa appeared at his side, her presence in the force still vibrating with manic energy. Anakin pushed against it, forcing himself not to be overcome by her waves of madness. 

The leader jutted his chin out, "Lieutenant Billaba tells me you're a Jedi." he says.

Anakin cants his head, his eyes sweeping over the others as he calculated his chances of escape, "I am." He said, settling his gaze on the leader once more, "And you?"

"Kar Vastor. Leader of the Upland Liberation Front." The soldier said, waving his hand. At once, the rest of his fighters lowered their blasters.

"We need not be adversaries." Vastor said, "Help me take Korunnai, and I will let you go in peace."

Anakin arched his brow, his eyes flitting again to Depa. Her golden eyes seemed unfocused, as though her mind was somewhere else.

"I'm afraid I can't do that." he said carefully, "I'm here on reconnaissance. My mission is to observe the situation and Master Billaba's status, then report back to the Jedi Temple." 

Vastor chuckled, gesturing to Depa, "As you can see, Jedi, Lieutenant Billaba is just fine." 

Anakin frowned, his hand slowly moving to rest on his saber, "I disagree." 

Vastor smiled regretfully, "Then you will die." 

At once a rain of blaster fire was on him. Anakin activated both his and Depa's saber, deflecting the bolts to the best of his ability, but he was quickly finding himself overwhelmed. In a moment of desperation, he threw his hand out and pushed the soldiers back, sending them careening into the trees before making a break into the jungle. The force slanted suddenly, thick and thin, hot and cold, and he was knocked off his feet, slamming face first into the rich jungle soil. He coughed up the dirt, scrambling onto his hands and knees when he felt a sharp pain in his stomach. Rolling onto his side, he looked up to see Depa's rancid eyes as the Jedi raised her foot and brought it down on his ribs. His vision turned white with pain before fading as he slipped into unconsciousness.

###

Anakin woke to a bucket of water being thrown at his face. He shook violently against the sudden cold, gasping and struggling against the binders that held his arms up above his head. Before him stood the familiar form of Xanatos, the fallen Jedi dismissing the guards in the room and leaving them alone. The force unraveled around them, turning dark and uncomfortable.

"So you've returned to us, Knight Skywalker." Xanatos rumbled, his oddly soft, low voice seeming to echo in Anakin's ears, "I never thought you would." 

Anakin snarled, his lips drawing back into a sneer, "Xanatos. Of all the people I expected to find here, you were not very high up on my list." 

Xanatos smiled, his hands held firmly behind his back, "It seems there will be no peaceful transition of power in Korunnai after all. Good for business, don't you think?"

"What did you do to Depa?" Anakin hissed at him.

"You mean Master Billaba?" Xanatos tutted, "Nothing you wouldn't have done, I assure you. How long do you intend on keeping up this charade of yours?"

Anakin frowned, "Charade? What charade?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, _Darth Vader._ You can drop the Jedi act now, I can feel the darkness practically dripping from you." Xanatos said, pacing the room slowly.

Anakin recoiled, shock and fear tainting the force around him, "What- Darth Vader? You think _I'm_ a Sith?"

"Aren't you?" Xanatos asked, glancing over to him curiously, "How else would you know so much about them? During our first encounter, you seemed rather... familiar with their practices." 

"I'm no Sith." Anakin growled.

Xanatos hummed thoughtfully, turning away from him then, "There seems to have been a convergence in the force. A meeting between time and space. I sensed it while observing the mining opperations on Mustafar." 

"A convergence in the force?" Anakin repeated, pulling at his bindings once more, "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."

"Did you have any visions recently, Knight Skywalker?" 

Anakin felt his gut lurch.

"I thought so." Xanatos mused, "I had a vision myself, when I was on Mustafar. You would not believe the things I had seen." He turned suddenly, extending his hand and pulling at Anakin's mind in the force. Static exploded between his ears and he gasped, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Who is your master, Vader?" Xanatos asked lowly, slowly closing his hand into a fist, "How do you plan to destroy the Jedi?" 

Anakin gasped, his eyes flying open as he fell forward, landing hard in the center of the council chambers. He looked around, out over the glowing Coruscanti sunset, turning away as the room began to crumble. He's rushing through the halls of the senate building, passing the decaying corpses of Master Fisto, Master Kolar, and Master Tiin, before bursting into the chancellors office.

_He's too dangerous to be kept alive!_

He heard the sound of a lightsaber igniting, just barely registering the purple blur of Mace's saber as it collided with Xanatos's blade. 

"This party is over." Mace snarled, grunting against the brunt of Xanatos' parry. The fallen Jedi sneered before drawing back, escaping through a hidden passage in the wall.

Anakin was breathing heavily when Mace went to undo the binders around his wrists, "Master Windu-" he breathed, "Am I glad to see you."

"Save it, Skywalker." Mace said, helping him up and allowing the younger man to lean on his shoulder, "How long have you been out?" 

"I don't know." Anakin said, doubling over at the sudden and intense pain in his side, "Where's Depa?" 

Mace shook his head, "I thought I sensed her earlier, but she must have scattered with the rest of Kar Vastor's forces."

"We have to go get her." He said feebly, "Mace, she's-"

"I know, Anakin." Mace gritted out, "I know. I need to get you out of here first."

With that, they began making their way through the small compound that the liberation front used as a base. The lights had all been dimmed and a shrill alarm was sounding around them. It only served to further scramble Anakin's thoughts, which were still jumbled from the vision Xanatos had forced out of him. What did it mean? _What did it mean?_

Once they made it outside, barely a moment passed before Depa was on them. Mace threw Anakin away just in time to capture the cross of Depa's blade and force her back. Anakin rolled onto his side, wheezing against the sparking wound in his chest when Xanatos reappeared, igniting his saber and moving to finish what he had started. It took all of Anakin's strength to get back to his feet and dodge the others overpowering strikes, leaving large, burning scars on the walls of the surrounding buildings.

"Anakin!"

Mace threw his saber over to him just in time to deflect one of Xanatos's devastating blows, Anakin grimacing against the pain that shot through every nerve in his body. Xanatos smiled to him sickeningly, twirling his blade and advancing forward.

"You just don't know when to give up, do you?" He taunted, bringing his saber down against Anakin's borrowed one, sparks of red and purple seeming to shatter across Anakin's vision.

"I spent the first nine years of my life surviving." Anakin growled, "I can survive a little bit longer." 

He pushed back suddenly, calling upon the force, willing it to submit. At once, the air turned cold, the force fluctuated rapidly, thick and thin, pulled tight and snapping as Anakin began his dance. The world narrowed to him and Xanatos, their presence and intention in the force. Battle meditation fell out of practice with the Jedi before the clone wars began, yet it had saved him many times and would save him now. He did it without realizing, feeling Xanatos's strikes before he had the chance to make them. Anakin caught his blade, forcing it down and twisting it from Xanatos's hand. He swung Mace's lightsaber down, then across, cutting through Xanatos's bones and flesh.

The light left his eyes, and Xanatos was no more. 

Anakin fell to his knees, breathing heavily and looking down on the mutilated corpse before him. The pain returned, and he became acutely aware of the stabbing sensation in his lung. He had felt worse. He had certainly felt better, squeezing his eyes shut.

_"What have I done?"_

The world seemed to move in slow motion. Anakin looked over his shoulder, spotting Depa as the young woman stumble back, her face stricken with grief and horror. Mace stood before her, he was saying something, but Anakin couldn't hear him. He watched Depa put the hilt of her saber to her head-

He was falling forward again, into the warm pool of Xanatos's blood, the pain in his body forcing him down- down down down- alone in an empty void.

###

_"Anakin!"_

_"Stay with me Skywalker, just a little bit longer!"_

_"I'm one with the force, and the force is with me."_

_"I'm one with the force, and the force is with me."_

I'm one with the force and the force is with me.

###

Anakin's eyes fluttered open against the too bright light of an infirmary. He couldn't feel his body, his mouth felt numb and stuffed full of cotton, probably a side effect of whatever drugged sleep he had been under. He was just barely able to turn his head to the side, seeing the familiar form of his master reading a data pad. 

"Mes-ther?" He slurred out.

His master turned to look at him, tilting his head curiously, "Master Skywalker, are you alright?" 

Anakin blinked slowly, chewing on his tongue and squinting. The form of his master stood up, coming closer.

"I can' feel my bonesh." Anakin slurred, his brows furrowing when his master stood over him.

His master lacked the familiar ginger beard he was always sporting, and his hair was much more unkempt than he remembered. Draped over his shoulder was a long padawan braid. Anakin tried to sit up, but the room began spinning, making him sick with nausea. Obi-Wan placed a hand on his chest, pushing him back down and huffing.

"Always on the move, aren't you, Master Skywalker. What were you thinking?" Obi-Wan asked quietly, moving his hand up to brush through Anakin's hair.

Anakin felt his heart pound heavily in his chest as sensation began returning to his body, "Where's my masther?" he asked, his thoughts trying to piece together what was happening.

Obi-Wan scoffed, "You never told me who your master was, Anakin."

" _My_ master is Obi-Wan Kenobi." Anakin slurred out, turning his head to stare up at the too bright fluorescent lights, "He' the greatest Jedi of all time. He hate' flying, but he's a great pilot! An' he's a great warrior, but he doesn't like t' fight. An' you should see him when he talks, he doesn' even like talking." Anakin closed his eyes, "And... he's a good friend. I miss him" 

Obi-Wan didn't say anything at first, continuing to softly comb his fingers through Anakin's hair, "Perhaps I'll get to meet him some day." he murmured quietly, "I think you should get some more rest, Anakin."

And for once, Anakin agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin: My master Obi-Wan Kenobi-  
> Obi-Wan: Your _what?_  
>  Thanks for reading! You can find me on tumblr under the same username!


	14. in which Obi-Wan learns who Anakin really is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update and a bump in the chapter count! Hope you guys enjoy reading!

_I miss him._

Obi-Wan stood outside Anakin's room in the Halls of Healing, staring down at the toes of his boots as he processed the other Jedi's words words. 

_My master is Obi-Wan Kenobi._

Obi-Wan frowned, flipping the padawan braid over his shoulder and making his way up to the temples grand foyer, then onto the roof through one of the side doors. Anakin had left for Haruun Kal two days ago and had returned on the third day within an inch of his life. The healers told him it was a miracle that he survived. Every time Anakin's health seemed to rapidly decline, there was a surge in the force. All at once, it would feel like the world stopped turning- the moon, stars, the very fabric of the universe- it would all cease it's steady rhythm if only for Anakin to live.

_The Chosen One?_ Qui-Gon had whispered to Mace, when they thought they were alone and Obi-Wan wasn't listening.

Obi-Wan made it to the roof, going to sit on the far edge and swing his legs over the side. He retrieved a packet of death sticks from his belt, then felt for his lighter beneath the ledge. Obi-Wan had been in the infirmary since Anakin returned with Mace and Depa. Depa, who was under the spell of the dark side, who nearly killed Anakin, who Mace forced into a sleep so deep, the healers feared she would never wake up. Obi-Wan grimaced, remembering Mace's words during the debrief.

_She put her lightsaber to her head,_ He explained to the healers after delivering Anakin, _I fear I've condoned her to a fate worse than death._

Obi-Wan hissed when he felt the ash from his stick burn through the thin fabric of his leggings. He pulled the dart from his mouth and tapped it over the edge while rubbing his leg, cursing. His mind drifted from Depa- her expressionless face as she floated idly in the green liquid of a bacta tank- back to Anakin. To the way the knight tossed and turned in his sleep, the night terrors making him writhe and scream in agony, and then when he woke up.

_My master is Obi-Wan Kenobi._

_He was a good friend. I miss him._

"What does that even mean, Master Skywalker?" Obi-Wan muttered, rubbing a hand down his face as he tapped the spent bit of his stick over the ledge again.

Maybe he had gotten his facts mixed up. Thought he was someone else in his delirium. But Anakin had seemed so sure that he was his master, had called him master while reaching out to him. Called him a great pilot, a warrior, a negotiator. Obi-Wan smudged his stick and laid back, staring up through Coruscant's artificial atmosphere at it's many moons and bright sun. The death stick took his mind off all the troubles he was having in the moment, lost in a haze as he turned Anakin's words over and over in his mind. This wasn't the first time Anakin got his wires crossed. He remembered the instance at Dex's Diner, the strange commlink Anakin had with him, the weird air of familiarity that came about whenever they spoke.

Obi-Wan kept staring at the sky.

"Who are you really, Anakin." He murmured, "Why won't you tell me."

###

Anakin woke with a start, inhaling sharply as if he were breathing for the first time. There was a dull throbbing in his rib, and the steady beeping of a heart monitor somewhere on his right. The fluorescent lights of his room had been dimmed to a soft bluish hue, probably to coincide with Coruscant's nighttime rotation. Anakin blinked away the phantom impressions of the light that flickered across his vision every time he closed his eyes and slowly, slowly forced himself to sit up. The pain which had been dull and throbbing became suddenly sharp and stabbing, and he grimaced against the ache that rattled his bones.

No alarms went off when he took the heart monitor tabs from his chest and left them tangled on the hospital bed, which made Anakin briefly wonder if he was still dreaming. Then, the lights slowly began to brighten and he turned around to see Master Qui-Gon and the apprentice healer that had been assigned to him. Anakin recognized her pale complexion and doe eyes as belonging to Vokara Che. She bustled in and very meekly tried to maneuver him back onto the bed.

"Master Skywalker, you shouldn't be moving." She said hastily, though her voice remained quiet.

"Just Anakin is fine." He corrected, putting a hand on her narrow shoulder and gently pushing her back, "And I assure you, if I shouldn't be moving, I wouldn't be."

Qui-Gon scoffed, shaking his head and folding his arms over his chest. He was wearing his sleep tunics, and Anakin wondered if he had intended to spend the night in the infirmary with him. Anakin appreciated the thought but his mind supplied him with the memory of Depa and the lightsaber she had pressed to her head-

"Where's Master Billaba?" He said, his voice suddenly hoarse and dry.

Qui-Gon gave him a pitying look, "You should see for yourself." 

The older Jedi led Anakin through the halls of healing, towards the bacta tanks near the center that kept the wounded in stasis. Anakin furrowed his brows, stopping when they came upon the one furthest from the entrance. To his surprise, Depa's unconscious form was not alone. Meditating next to the tank was Master Windu, his face pinched and his eyes squeezed shut. Anakin pressed his lips together, glancing to Qui-Gon when the Jedi gently cuffed his shoulder.

"She's alive thanks to you." He said quietly before turning and leaving them alone.

Anakin stared at his retreating form before looking back to Master Windu. The dark Jedi's eyes had opened, and Anakin flinched against the deep sorrow he saw there. He offered him a small nod.

"Do you mind if I join you?" He asked.

"Please." 

Anakin allowed himself to smile minutely before joining Master Windu on the floor beside the tank, crossing his legs and resting his hands on his knees as he looked up to her. Qui-Gon said she was alive, but all Anakin could see was the ghost of the Jedi he had come to know and love. 

"She was being influenced by Xanatos." Mace's voice came suddenly, echoing all around them. 

Anakin nodded, "I knew something was wrong when I saw her." He murmured, "The Force- It felt wrong on Haruun Kal."

"The dark side had taken root and swallowed the planet whole. Korrunai was the epicenter of it all." Mace shook his head, "I shouldn't have let Depa go on this mission alone. I should have been there for her." 

His voice wavered, and it made Anakin feel sick. To hear Mace's voice, the voice of the stern and steady Jedi master, break at the fall of his padawan. It reminded him too much of himself. It reminded him too much of Ahsoka.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly, "I didn't get there in time." 

Mace shook his head, "No, you were exactly where you needed to be, when you needed to be. If I was presented with the same options you were, I would have killed her."

"What?" Anakin looked to him, his eyes wide.

"In my fear, I would have struck her down." Mace said quietly, "Nobody knows the dark side like I do, Skywalker. What it does to people."

"And what does it do to people?" He asked.

"It makes them desperate." Mace said, "The fear of losing the things you love, the people who love you. You will try to hold them so tight, because you want to preserve that love. It will suffocate them and it will suffocate you."

"But why would you have killed her?" Anakin pressed, not understanding, "What does the dark side have to do with that? She's your padawan! Why-"

"Because it would have been merciful." He said, "Do you not feel her agony? Her suffering? Reach for her in the force, and you will know it to be true." 

Anakin looked away from Mace and back to Depa. He felt ridiculous, reaching out and resting his hand on the cold transparisteel cylinder. He called to her, and waited. The emptiness that fell upon him was worse than any nightmare or vision he ever had. It reminded him of war. It reminded him of his mother. It reminded him of himself. 

He yanked his hand back, breathing heavily. Master Windu was watching him, his dark eyes searching.

"You know the dark side, don't you Anakin?" Mace asked, "You've felt it before and you feel it now."

Anakin looked down, remembering Xanatos' final words. _Darth Vader._

_Sith._

He pressed his face into his hands, exhaling slowly, "Do you think I would fall?" he asked.

Mace seemed thoughtful, "No."

Anakin's head jerked up, his mouth opening to speak but Mace held his hand up, silencing him.

"I think that if and when the time comes where you might fall." He said, "You would do the right thing."

Anakin stared at him for a long moment, "You have too much faith in me." He said, "And I don't deserve that kind of trust."

Mace snorted, "Anakin, in the moment when I would have taken Depa's life, you were facing Xanatos. I threw you my saber, because I couldn't trust myself and I couldn't trust the force, but I knew that I could trust you. You saved her and me."

"I would trust you with my life."

###

Getting on the roof was difficult with the healing wound on his side. Padawan Che had followed him all the way to the outer wall before giving up on having him go back to the halls of healing. When he pulled himself up, he saw Obi-Wan laying on his back with his eyes closed. Copper hair fanned out around his head like a wreath of fire. Anakin smiled, approaching as quietly as possible and kneeling down behind his head.

Obi-Wan's eyes fluttered open, seeming drowsy. The padawan reached up to him, gently brushing his fingers against Anakin's cheek.

"Hello there." 

Anakin chuckled softly, leaning into Obi-Wan's touch, "Hello, Master." 

He froze, panic shooting through his veins as he stammered to try and correct himself.

Obi-Wan was staring at him, pulling him down and looking deeply into his eyes, "That's the second time you've called me that, Anakin." He said curiously, "Is there something you want to tell me?" 

Anakin pressed his lips together tightly.

"Uh, no- Not particularly." he managed, averting his gaze.

Obi-Wan hummed, "I thought you might say that." he said, "It doesn't matter though. I've got you all figured out, Anakin." 

"What do you mean?"

"The commlink, Dex's Diner." Obi-Wan rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself up. 

"Most damning of all, in the infirmary. _My master is Obi-Wan Kenobi._ "

"I don't even remember that." Anakin snapped, desperately trying to stop the truth from spilling out like guts on a battlefield, "And, I was on a lot of medication, I'm sure I was saying all sorts of things." 

"Oh, you were." Obi-Wan said, folding his arms over his chest, "I've got another question for you." 

He took a step forward. Anakin found himself leaning back. Obi-Wan crouched down and grabbed Anakin by the jaw, squeezing it.

"How long are you going to keep lying to me?"

Anakin swallowed thickly, "I don't want to lie to you," he said softly, "But I can't tell you the truth either."

Obi-Wan frowned, making a frustrated noise and letting go of Anakin's jaw. He stood up and walked to the other side of the roof, looking up into the starry canvas of space, dotted with the blinking lights of distant star ships and space lanes. Anakin stared at his back, not moving from where he kneeled on the roof. He wanted to call out to him, to beg for his forgiveness and understanding. His master might give it to him, the man who trained him to be a Jedi would have accepted it immediately. This wasn't his master though. This was just Obi-Wan, and Anakin could feel his righteous indignation bubbling in the force, just waiting to boil over into something more befitting of rage.

In a moment of reckless neediness he got up to his feet and went to him, hesitantly wrapping his arms around the padawan's waist and resting his chin on his shoulder. Obi-Wan tensed in his arms, but didn't didn't pull away. Anakin decided that was a good thing, nosing against the soft skin of his neck.

"I'm sorry," He said quietly, "You wouldn't understand." 

"I might if you would just tell me." Obi-Wan sighed. He sounded exhausted.

"You wouldn't believe me either." Anakin retorted.

"Believe what?" Obi-Wan said, turning to face him now. He gently put his hands on Anakin's waist, his eyes flitting up to meet Anakin's gaze, "That in some alternate universe I was your master?"

"No." Anakin murmured, leaning down and closing the gap between their lips. They met in a biting kiss, and Obi-Wan moved one of his hands to pull Anakin's hair and bring him closer still. 

"Than what won't I believe?" Obi-Wan gasped when they broke apart, "Just tell me." 

Anakin looked passed him then, out over Coruscant's skyline. A planet that never slept. Some things would never change.

"Obi-Wan, I'm from the future." He said quietly, "Not just any future, but your future. Our future."

Obi-wan watched him for a long moment, "Tell me everything." 

"I can't." Anakin bit out, and it hurt more than anything to tell Obi-Wan no, "I can't- You don't understand!"

"What don't I understand?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Everything!" He shouted, "You don't know what I've been through, what I've done, what I've seen- You would never understand me!" 

Obi-Wan sighed heavily, resting their foreheads together, "I'm beginning to think it's because you won't talk to me, _padawan._ " 

Anakin flushed darkly, heat swooping low in the center of his gut. Obi-Wan arched his brow.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, bringing his hands up and combing his fingers through Anakin's golden curls. 

"Yes." Anakin managed to get out, "Why wouldn't I?"

Obi-Wan hummed, resting his hands on Anakin's shoulders and gently pushing him down till he was back on his knees. Anakin made a confused noise but Obi-Wan shushed him, gently lifting his chin and rubbing his thumb against his cheek, "That's interesting. If you really trusted me, you would talk to me."

With that, Obi-Wan pulled his hand away and stepped around him, leaving him kneeling on the edge of the roof and disappearing back into the temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan: I know what you are.  
> Anakin: Say it.  
> Obi-Wan: You're from an alternate universe.  
> Anakin: I mean, close enough?  
> Oh Anakin, you really are hopeless aren't you. Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!


	15. In which Anakin and Obi-Wan make up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines day!

"You summoned me, masters-" Anakin called as he entered the council chambers, halting when all eyes in the room turned on him.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were already there, Obi-Wan's gaze jerking away to stare out one of the tall windows as soon as their gazes met. They hadn't spoke since the incident on the roof. Avoiding him made Anakin's gut clench, but he tried to ignore it for now. Personal problems with Obi-Wan weren't something he should be dealing with in front of the Jedi Orders best and brightest.

Master Windu gestured for him to step further into the room, "Get out of the doorway, Skywalker."

Anakin might have thought that their conversation in the halls of healing hadn't happened given the familiar disdain in the dark masters voice. And yet, the shadows on Master Windu's face and the small catch of his words told Anakin that it had happened. That this wasn't the man he had come to know, rather, it was the one he would become in the future. Hardened in a way that Anakin understood more intimately than he ever thought he could. 

"We have another mission for you." 

Anakin frowned, awkwardly joining Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan at the center of the chamber. Qui-Gon, oblivious once more of his padawan's chagrin, greeted him with a pat on the shoulder and curious smile. The taller man had been blissfully unaware of their falling out and Anakin preferred to keep it that way. He didn't want Qui-Gon's wrath to fall upon Obi-Wan for being inconsiderate. Regardless, Qui-Gon's eyes were twinkling in the way that Obi-Wan's so often did when something new and excited had been discovered. Anakin wondered what that could be.

"What do you make of this sound?" Master Windu asked, drawing Anakin's attention back.

A holo was projected above them, the blue haze distorting with what sounded like an archaic song, echoing around the room and creating a sense of unease. Anakin furrowed his brows. He remembered hearing that sound during the Clone Wars. It was the beacon that brought him to Mortis. 

"It's a distress signal." He said once the audio cut out, "I've heard it before- a long time ago."

The other members of the council glanced among each other, whispering like they always did. Only now, it didn't fill Anakin with the sense of dread he had grown so familiar with. These were his peers, not his enemies, not obstacles on his way to the top, and they were right to question him. He was no more a stranger now than he was in the future. Now though, he wanted to change the future. He wanted to know the people around him.

"Correct, you are." Master Yoda croaked, "Thousands of years old, it is. Only in the archives recordings, had it been heard, yes." 

Master Windu steepled his fingers together, resting them over his lips, "The signal is being transmitted near the edge of the outer rim, not even a parsec from the unknown regions." His gaze met Anakin's and settled there, "We are sending you with Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi to investigate."

Anakin frowned, "Right now?" He asked.

Master Windu arched his brow, "If you're ready to go out again, that is."

"Of course, but-" Anakin hesitated, "I would like to speak with you before we depart." 

"Consider it done." The dark master sighed, leaning back in his chair and rubbing a hand down his face, "You three are dismissed for now. Anakin, I will find you once this meeting is adjourned. You best prepare, it's a long way to the outer rim."

 _You have no idea._ Anakin thought sardonically, offering the other masters a polite bow. 

From the corner of his eye, he could see Obi-Wan making a beeline for the exit. Qui-Gon seemed startled by his padawan's abrupt departure, offering the Council an awkward bow once Obi-Wan slipped out the door.

"Not to worry, we will find the source of this anomaly, and report back as soon as we have answers." Qui-Gon promised, glancing to Anakin who nodded in agreement. They exited the Council Chambers together, Anakin matching Qui-Gon's impossible stride with relative ease now. They had done this walk at least a hundred times it seemed, and Anakin couldn't help but feel somewhat nostalgic as they made their way to the elevator. 

"I don't know what's gotten into him." Qui-Gon huffed once they were there. Anakin noted that he seemed rather agitated, his lips drawn into a frown under his beard. 

"Who, Master Windu?" Anakin asked, watching the numbers change as they descended deeper into the temple.

He was distracted by what he thought was a strange dream he once had. A mass hallucination while in the outer rim with Ahsoka and Obi-Wan, chasing an ancient distress signal that lead them nowhere before vanishing them to what felt like another dimension and returning them without a second passing bye. That other world, other dimension, had been Mortis. Time had been strange there, like it was now. Anakin began to think his dream hadn't been a dream at all. 

"No, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon said, pulling Anakin back into the moment, "Ever since what happened on Haruun Kal he hasn't been himself. Perhaps getting back into the field will do him some good."

Anakin's stomach dropped, and as soon as the elevator doors open he stepped out, "I think I'll talk to him. Maybe he's worried about Depa." he said, turning and walking backwards, overcome by a sense of urgency.

 _You're running out of time._

"I'll be back after my meeting with Master Windu later today. I'm sure it'll all be, ah, sorted by then." 

One two finger salute later and he was barreling down the hall, stumbling into a fast walk when the Jedi elders passed him, chuckling at his apparent haste. Once upon a time, he might have been embarrassed or angered by their snickering, now he only offered them an awkward smile before beginning his run again. How much had he changed since he came back to this time?

"Obi-Wan!" He called, stopping the Padawan just as he was about to go down to the archives.

Obi-wan looked at him over his shoulder, his face pinched, "Can I help you, _Master Skywalker?_ "

Anakin tried to stop himself from leering at him. After Obi-Wan had left him on the roof, they barely met up anymore. Obi-Wan claimed he was preparing for the trials, but Anakin knew that wasn't true. Obi-Wan had at least five or six years before that was even on the table. He was not ready to be a knight and certainly not ready to be a master, and he wouldn't be either until he was at least 25. Anakin would know after all. Obi-Wan _had_ been his master.

"Actually, you can." Anakin huffed, "I need to talk to you."

The padawan arched his brow.

"Alone."

###

How long had it been since Obi-Wan was in Anakin's tiny quarters, sat crossed legged on his futon, smoking death sticks and tapping the ash onto the floor? 

At least a week.

Anakin stared down at the young padawan, watching him nonchalantly toss the braid over his shoulder and meet him with a look that said everything he didn't. Anakin knew the look.

"You're still mad at me." He said flatly, sinking down to the floor and crossing his legs.

Obi-Wan let out a long suffering sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Yes, Anakin. I'm still mad at you." 

Anakin chewed his lip, deciding what angle he wanted to take during this discussion. He asked Mace if he could tell Obi-Wan anything about him, only to recieve a very clear _"Absolutely not, Skywalker! Don't even think about it!"_ Of course Master Windu would make this difficult. 

"Why?" he decided to ask.

"I'm leaving." 

"Wait-" Anakin grabbed Obi-Wan's arm before he could stand. Obi-Wan tensed in his grasp, glaring at him defiantly.

Anakin took a deep breath, "Tell me why you're mad at me. Please, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan pressed his lips together tightly, pulling his arm away and scoffing, "Why do you think?"

"Obi-Wan, this isn't about me and what I think." Anakin said firmly. This was patience tempered after years of a seemingly never ending war, after raising a student and losing them, and apparently losing everything else along the way. This was something only Obi-Wan had been able to teach him. How to wait. How to _listen._

Because this wasn't about _him_. This wasn't about _the Chosen One._

This was about Obi-Wan and his hurt and Anakin's need to mend that hurt. 

Obi-Wan frowned, "You lied to me, and Master Jinn, and Master Billaba, and _everyone._ "

Anakin blinked at him, "What?" 

"Karking sithspit, Anakin!" he hissed, "I don't care if you lie to me, but everyone else?" 

Anakin looked down. He hadn't considered anyone else, really. His priority had been Obi-Wan. Anakin knew that Obi-Wan didn't see himself as any sort of priority. If that was a result of his own volition, the haunting visions he had of his master dying, or that same master never giving him the attention he deserved, Anakin didn't know. Obi-Wan had always been a martyr and this was no different.

"I didn't think of that." He said.

"I'm starting to believe you don't think very much at all, Master Skywalker." Obi-Wan said, taking a long drag from his stick.

Anakin awkwardly rearranged his legs so that he was now kneeling on the floor, fidgeting his hands in his lap, "You're right." He said finally, "You always used to say I think with my lightsaber and not my head." 

Obi-Wan snorted, "I'm glad that future me still has a sense of humor." he tapped the ash off from his stick, staring at the floor, "If there even is a future me." 

Anakin closed his eyes. _Did it even matter?_ He didn't particularly care if he was breaking Master Windu's rules by telling Obi-Wan anything. He broke rules all the time.

 _You're running out of time._ The force whispered to him again.

 _Soon._ What would be coming soon? 

It didn't matter.

"There is a future you." He said at last, deciding it would be now or never, "And you are my master, and the closest friend I have."

Obi-Wan frowned, "Am I your lover too?" He asked curiously, "Is that why you like me now?"

Anakin shook his head, "No. I have a different lover in the future." he murmured, "But I don't think I love her as much as I thought I did. I don't think- I- I love the way it feels to love. And we were young then. And we loved because we wanted to escape from ourselves. I think- I think I might love you more." 

"I don't understand." Obi-Wan said, his cheeks just barely flushed with scarlet as he smudged out his death stick, "Jedi aren't- We aren't supposed to be attached like that."

Anakin opened his mouth, then closed it, "I'm more of a mediocre Jedi, so that rule doesn't apply to me." He tried to joke, even though he knew it wouldn't land right, "But Obi-Wan, you make me want to be a better Jedi. You are the only constant thing in the future, and- Oh Obi-Wan, if only you knew what the galaxy had become." 

Obi-Wan stared at him for a long moment before moving forward, leaning into Anakin's space, the ghost of death sticks on his breath.

"Tell me." He commanded, and the only thing Anakin could do was obey.

"There's a war," He says against the younger mans lips, "And there's death. A plot to destroy the Jedi." 

Obi-Wan hummed, his hands almost reverently moving up Anakin's chest and cupping his cheeks, connecting their lips and kissing him with all the words he left unspoken. 

"Is that why you're here?" Obi-Wan asks, breaking their kiss and smiling when Anakin chases him, just like he always did.

"I don't know." Anakin said truthfully, and for the first time, he wasn't afraid of the truth, "They call me the Chosen One, Obi-Wan. _The Chosen One._ They've called me that since I was 10 years old. But they must be wrong."

A flicker of recognition blinked across Obi-Wan's face, but it was gone before Anakin could think too much of it.

"I don't think they are." Obi-Wan says quietly, gently brushing his fingers through Anakin's hair, "And I don't think you're a mediocre Jedi either. Everyone adores you, Anakin, even the force. I think it even brought you back from the dead." 

Anakin scoffed, "What good is being alive if all the people I love aren't?"

"All things die, Anakin-" Obi-Wan starts but Anakin stops him, laying back and pulling the padawan against his chest.

"I know," he whispers, drawing constellations on Obi-Wan's freckled cheek.

"Even stars burn out." 

Obi-Wan's eyes flutter closed for a moment, laughing softly when Anakin rolled him onto his back so that he could straddle his hips. The laughter broke into a low groan when Anakin grinded against him, seeking friction. His eyes opened and grinned deviously.

"Do you need it that bad?" Obi-Wan asked, grabbing the collar of Anakin's tunic and pulling him down into a biting kiss.

Anakin moaned into his mouth, "I missed you." He mumbled. 

"I know," Obi-Wan said back, resting their foreheads together, "I missed you too." 

Anakin was just about to start shedding his clothes when his commlink went off. The noise made them jump, panic bleeding into the force before settling into an annoying buzz as Anakin answered the call.

 _"Skywalker, did you want to meet with me before your departure or not?"_

It was Master Windu. Of course it was. Anakin sighed heavily, pulling himself off of Obi-Wan's lap and awkwardly running his fingers through his curls.

"Yes, sorry master, I got- I got distracted." He said hurried, "I'll be there momentarily." 

With that the call ended. Obi-Wan stared up at him, still laying on his back.

"You're going, then?" The padawan asked, stretching his limbs out slowly.

"Yea." Anakin said quietly, "I guess I am. Will you be here when I come back?" 

Obi-Wan chuckled softly, "Anakin, I would wait eternities for you." 

_You're running out of time,_ the force whispered, _You have to go back._

 _Not yet,_ Anakin pleaded, slipping out the door and going to find Master Windu.

_Not yet._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin: I'm a dumbass.  
> Obi-Wan: I know.
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter :) If you would like to scream to me about star wars, you can find me on tumblr under the same username!


	16. in which the Jedi go to Mortis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one punched me in the gut.

_Soon._

"We're dropping out of hyperspace." 

Anakin rolled onto his side, almost falling off the small bunk he had been sleeping on. The starships the council leant them had become progressively smaller and progressively less advanced. Anakin figured this ship was almost as old as Qui-Gon, and if the rattling of the compressor was an indication, this might be its last voyage before being scrapped. Anakin didn't mind the ship though. It was sturdy and could pull some tight maneuvers in a pinch.

Standing over Anakin was the familiar form of Obi-Wan. The padawan seemed wary of the ship, given its age and constant rattling. Anakin found it endearing, smiling up to the younger man.

"How many parsecs till we get where we need to be?" He asked, finally sitting up on the bunk and letting the shock blanket he had found in the storage compartment pool around his waist.

Obi-Wan's eyes were drawn there, but they didn't linger, "One, Qui-Gon's worried the ship won't be able to make it back." He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Anakin hummed, "The ship will be fine. The bolt on the compressor is probably loose. I'll fix it before we head back." 

Obi-Wan scoffed, but was eased by Anakin's confidence. If he didn't think the ship would make it, he would have said that. They left the crews quarters and went up to the cockpit where Qui-Gon was sat with his knees practically up against his chest. It was indeed a tiny ship.

"Don't crowd around the control panel." The older Jedi scolded them, just as the streaks of blue faded and they landed in the empty expanse of black space and starry night. 

Anakin looked out the viewport, sure to keep himself out of the way while Qui-Gon fiddled with the controls. Obi-Wan was in the corner adjusting the comm frequency, his brows furrowed in concentration. In the dead of space, all was silent.

Then he felt it. 

Like someone had accidently lurched the steering yolk forward, but nothing had moved, not the ship nor its passengers. Anakin's gut felt suddenly heavy and he bowed his head. All around him, the Force howled against him. He squeezed his eyes shut. It was too much, he could feel everything.

_"What in Sith hells is that!?"_

_"I'm not picking it up on the scanners!"_

_"Is it a ship?"_

_"Brace yourselves!"_

When Anakin opened his eyes, their ship had landed on the surface of a planet. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were staring out the viewport window with wide eyes, their mouths hung open in utter shock. Anakin breathed in the familiar atmosphere of a planet he was certain wasn't real. 

"Where are we?" Obi-Wan asked, "How did you land the ship, Master Jinn?"

"I- I didn't." Qui-Gon stuttered, awkwardly flipping a couple switches and attempting to power up the ships engine.

The vessel didn't even try to start and the other two Jedi groaned.

"That's it. The next time we go on one of these missions, I'm choosing our ship." Obi-Wan hissed, pushing past Anakin so that he could drop the ships boarding ramp.

"I didn't land the ship." Qui-Gon was still muttering, standing up and checking the gauges on the ceiling, "Did you see me land the ship, Anakin?"

Anakin didn't hear him at first, still staring out the viewport window. He heard Qui-Gon snapping at him, blinking out of his haze he rubbed a hand down his face.

"No." He said finally, turning to join Obi-Wan outside, "I don't think you had to." 

"What do you mean by that?" Qui-Gon asked as he followed just behind.

"This place is just weird like that." Anakin said, ducking out of the ship and taking in his surroundings.

Just like the first time he had been here, there was a cave to his right, an open clearing to his left, and a cliff that dropped into force knows where. The sky looked normal enough, but the seasons were changing rapidly all around him. The force itself was constantly renewing, going through the stages of life in the blink of an eye. Obi-Wan was crouching in front of a tree where the leaves had fallen and turned to ash, only for the branches to bud with new growth moments later.

"Where in the galaxy are we?" Obi-Wan asked.

**"You are on Mortis."**

The three Jedi immediately ignited their sabers, falling into formation with their backs against each other. Approaching from the far end of the clearing was a tall man with white hair and grey skin. His eyes were an inky black with white pupils. Trailing behind him were two children, a girl and boy. But as soon as they were spotted they vanished.

Qui-Gon deactivated his saber and opened his palms, "And where is Mortis, exactly?" the Jedi master questioned.

 **"Neither here nor there."** The man replied, stopping a few paces before them, his hands held neatly behind his back.

Anakin felt Obi-Wan tense at his side, and he could feel the younger Jedi's heart racing with panic and fear of the unknown. Anakin put a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder, squeezing it once before he stepped forward. Obi-Wan's fear subsided, and was replaced with confusion as Anakin approached the stranger.

"We've met before." Anakin commented, offering an awkward bow, "Do you remember me?"

The strangers brows raised momentarily, **"I do remember you."** he said, **"Not from this time, but another. We have been waiting for you."**

Anakin sensed Obi-Wan's presence in the force spike suddenly. He swallowed, "Then you know what happens here?" 

The man tilted his head from side to side, "It has already happened." He says simply, "It was inevitable, just like you being here."

"Wait, wait, wait," Obi-Wan interrupts, his expression twisted and confused, "What are you talking about?" 

**"Come with me."** The stranger says, not bothering to explain anything, **"We must go to the temple at once.**

Qui-Gon followed after the man without question, immediately asking about the planets ecology and atmosphere, the nature of the force. The stranger indulged his curiousity, perhaps even relished in it. Anakin didn't know how long it had been since he last saw another living being. Obi-Wan grabbed Anakin's arm before he could follow suite, glaring at him.

"You're not telling me what's going on again." The padawan hissed.

Anakin sighed heavily, "Obi-Wan, remember when I said there were just some things that you won't understand?" He asked, putting both his hands on the padawan's shoulders, "This is what I meant. I don't even know what's going on here."

"I can see that." Obi-Wan sniped, "But what does it have to do with you?"

"I don't know yet." Anakin said, "I just- I don't know." 

With that, Anakin turned away from him and followed after the others. Obi-Wan came up behind soon after.

_Soon._

Anakin gritted his teeth.

_Not yet._

They reached the stone temple that the stranger called his home, waving his hand and opening the massive doors with ease. The children were inside, scattering once they arrived and hiding behind pillars and doorways. Their eyes glinted in the darkness of the foyer before vanishing again, their presence in the force vanishing with them. The stranger finally stopped before what looked like a podium.

 **"I am the Father,"** The stranger says, **"The others who live here are my children."** He turned, his eyes falling on Anakin, **"We are force users, and the only inhabitants of Mortis. And you, Jedi, are the One."**

Qui-Gon gaped at him, "The One?" He repeated, "Anakin, he doesn't mean to say you are the Chosen One, does he?" 

"He does." Anakin says, "But there must be some mistake-" 

**"There is no mistake."** The Father says, **"You are to bring balance to the Force and it is the Force that has brought you here. And as the Force wills it, I will be sending you back to your time now. That is why I broadcasted that signal to you. To bring you home."**

_It's too late._

Anakin closes his eyes, "You aren't asking me to stay?" He says, almost curiously, "The last time I was here-"

 **"The last time you were here, you saw things that you were never meant to see, and everyone perished because of it."** The Father says, **"But that has already transpired. The Force is not merciful with its second chances. If it is used wisely, it will change your fate."**

 _Sith,_ the Force hisses at him.

_Darth Vader._

Anakin nods, "I know what I must do." He says quietly.

 **"But do you have the strength to do it?"**

Anakin opens his mouth, then closes it. He turns to face the other Jedi.

"What will happen to them?" He asks.

The silence stretches for too long. The force is oddly still. He can feel it all at once and not at all, thick and thin, fast and slow, too much and not enough.

 **"They will forget, and so will everyone else."** The Father says, **"You will be erased from this time. The memories will remain intact, but you will not be a part of them."**

Anakin nods again, "Will I remember?" 

**"Yes, it is part of your trial to remember."**

Anakin exhaled slowly, "Qui-Gon," He says, and there's so much that he wants to say, "I am the Chose One, and not just that, I'm from the future too. Before you found me on that horrid dust ball of a planet I was nobody special. Just another piece of sentient property waiting for my life to end. It's because of you that I'm a Jedi. I only wish that I had more time to know you."

Qui-Gon just stares at him, and Anakin knows he doesn't understand. He doesn't need to understand, though. Anakin can sense here, at this nexus in the Force, that in death Qui-Gon will become more powerful than any Jedi to have ever lived. Anakin thinks about how he once sought that power. He wonders what good that power would be to him now. How he had wasted his life being selfish. 

"Obi-Wan." 

The padawan flinches when Anakin speaks.

"The Jedi couldn't have asked for a better warrior," He says it quietly, "Nor I a better friend, or master, or..." he wants to call Obi-Wan his lover, but the words get stuck in his throat.

"Why does it sound like you're saying goodbye?" Obi-Wan asks, his voice raising incredulously.

"I can't stay here." Anakin says, "It's too late. I have to go back." 

"Go back where, what does that even- You can't just leave!" Obi-Wan says, and his voice trembles and Anakin's heart breaks. Qui-Gon has his hand on the padawan's shoulder, trying to comfort an impossible hurt.

Anakin can't help but feel that he is taking from Obi-Wan again. And it feels like he has already taken so much.

"I'm sorry." Anakin says quietly, "I have to do this- I have to make it right." 

**"It is time."** The father interrupts, and from his robes, he produces the Holocron that Anakin had found in the archives. He holds it out to Anakin.

Anakin hesitates. He feels all at once his doubts and fear, that he can't do the right thing, won't do the right thing when the time comes. What if he fails? Not just Obi-Wan, but Qui-Gon, and Mace, and Depa, and everyone he had gotten so close to. The Son is looking at him from the shadows, his eyes glinting and curious. The dark side is calling to him, promising everything that he can't have. This life, Obi-Wan, the people he cares about. 

But the Daughter is there too, and she calls him back to the light. She is the breeze over the Lake House on Naboo, his mothers love, Obi-Wan's smile, Ahsoka's banter, and Padme's voice. And he wouldn't trade anything for that. 

He takes the holocron as Obi-Wan reaches out to him. 

It happens all at once.

Then there is nothing.

###

Obi-Wan blinks. Once. Twice. He is aboard that awful shuttle Master Windu had sent them in, the compressor is still rattling obnoxioiusly in the background. He's standing alone in the crews quarters. What was he doing in there again?

In his hand is a black pyramid like object. He doesn't know where it came from or what it does. The object is seemingly void of the force, as if it had lived or been alive. He finds it peculiar but doesn't dwell on it, tossing it over with the rest of his things and going to join Qui-Gon in the cockpit. 

"Don't crowd around the control panel." Qui-Gon said, and Obi-Wan tried not to snicker at the way his master was sat folded like a lawn chair in the pilots seat.

Obi-Wan looked out the viewport window, furrowing his brows. Why did he feel like something was missing?

"What are we doing here again?" 

Qui-Gon scoffed, "Now is not the time to be cheeky, padawan mine." he said, "The Council sent us to investigate that distress signal. I doubt you were paying attention to the briefing though. You were distracted, as usual."

Obi-Wan frowned, looking down, "I don't even remember what I was distracted by." He muttered. 

They sat in the dead of space for what felt like an eternity before Qui-Gon sighed, rebooting the engines and running a diagnostic before punching in the coordinates back to the Jedi Temple. 

"An ancient distress signal, ha!" Qui-Gon was grumbling, "You don't think master Yoda would have lied to me, do you? He knows I'm fond of history." 

Obi-Wan snorts, "He probably wanted to get you out of the archives, master, he's worried about your back."

The compressor was being even more loud and obnoxious now and Obi-Wan wanted to tear his hair out in frustration. Why was it making that noise? He went to go investigate it, and everything seemed fine, but it was still rattling. Obi-Wan stared at it long and hard before reaching out and adjusting the bolt that held it together. 

The rattling stopped at once.

"How'd you know to do that?" Qui-Gon asked, and he seemed much less annoyed now that the sound was gone. He looked to Obi-Wan as they made the jump to hyperspace, the viewport exploding into a canvas of blue streaks.

"I don't know," Obi-Wan said, lowering his hand. The force was whispering to him and he strained to hear its call. 

_Time's up._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan: *experiencing some wicked deja vu  
> Thank you for all your support! I hope you enjoyed the chapter! :) You can find me on tumblr under the same username


	17. in which Anakin and Obi-Wan diverge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another angsty update :)

_Then._

Obi-Wan stared blankly out the tall windows in the council chamber. Qui-Gon stood beside him, reporting the details of their excursion to the edge of the galaxy. Everything had seemed normal on the return trip, until Obi-Wan stepped into the hangar and was swept up in a memory he couldn't quite place. 

And these memories kept blipping just below the surface. Just out of his reach.

The hangar, the council chambers, his shared apartment with Qui-Gon, the training salles, even the mess- it all screamed of something forgotten. Worse, the force kept pulling at him and he was helpless to its whim, floundering in some half-baked vision of what might be the future. Golden curls and drowsy blue eyes, sun kissed skin and the vague impression of someone beautiful and powerful. Obi-Wan ignored those visions, offering a polite bow when to the other Jedi after the meeting was adjourned. He walked with Qui-Gon down the long corridors of the temple, heading back down to its foyer which was bathed in a scarlet sunset.

"You seem troubled, Obi." Qui-Gon commented, glancing down to the younger man, "What ails you?"

"Nothing, master." Obi-Wan assured, "Just tired from the voyage." 

Qui-Gon snorted, "I'm sure it was terrible for you. Just be grateful we made it back in one piece." The older Jedi seemed lost in his thoughts for a moment, pausing to look out one of the windows.

"Master?" Obi-Wan called, furrowing his brows.

Qui-Gon didn't respond, holding his hand out to silence him. The force was heavy here, the presence of something secret lingering. Whatever it was vanished and Obi-Wan blinked against the sudden dizziness swooping through his head.

"E chu ta!" He hissed, squeezing his temples and ducking his head in pain.

"Do you feel that?" Qui-Gon whispered, "No, you definitely feel it. The force is trying to tell us something." 

Obi-Wan shook his head, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. It felt more like the force was trying to punish him. His head felt heavy and stuffed full of cotton.

"I think I'm going to go, master." Obi-Wan said vaguely, wandering away from Qui-Gon who stayed still in rapture. Obi-Wan looked back at him once, saw the way the red smeared across his face. He felt another bout of dizziness. A red blade, sith yellow eyes, a zabrak bearing the mark of Dathomir. Obi-Wan yanked himself out of the vision and braced himself against the wall. The force hadn't given him visions of his masters death in what felt like eons. Why were they happening now? Why was the force acting so strange? Why couldn't he seem to remember anything from weeks or even days ago?

_You need more time._

He swallowed against the dryness in his throat and continued on his way, finally making it back to his shared apartment and collapsing immediately onto the floor.

Later he felt himself being shaken awake. Groaning against the stiffness in his muscles, Obi-Wan rolled onto his side, squinting in the darkness to see Quinlan crouching over him.

"Did you drink too much or something?" The kriffar padawan joked, getting up from his crouch and pulling Obi-Wan up with him, "Qui-Gon didn't know where you went."

Obi-Wan leaned into Quinlan's side and tried to get a grip on himself; "I haven't been to the lower levels in ages, Quin, you _know_ that."

"I really don't." Quinlan huffed, dragging Obi-Wan into his private quarters and shutting the door behind them. The kriffar padawan made to put Obi-Wan on the bed, but the other easily outmaneuvered him. 

In seconds, Quinlan was on his back and staring up at him, his brows raised in surprised. Obi-Wan had him pinned down, one knee between the his legs to keep them apart.

"You know, for someone who's been avoiding me for months you're being really cozy right now." Quinlan snarked, but there wasn't any bite behind it. 

Obi-Wan furrowed his brows, his thoughts still warped and staticky, "Has it been months?" He asked.

 _Had he been mind tricked or something?_ But what could have made him forget so much? 

"We haven't been fucking since that incident with Xanatos over Mygeeto." Quinlan teased, moving to pull apart Obi-Wan's tunics, "Do I really mean nothing to you?" 

Obi-Wan frowned, sitting back and grabbing Quinlan's hands, pinning them to his sides, "Hold on, I'm still waking up." He said.

It took him a moment to collect his thoughts, but Quinlan was right. It had been _months_. Obi-Wan hadn't been with anyone else, or at least, anyone that he could remember. He hadn't been to the lower levels, hadn't found something pretty on the streets or while out on a mission to keep himself busy with. 

Quinlan was whining now. It seemed he had waited long enough and didn't want to wait any longer. That had been their arrangement, of course. 

"Why didn't you come find me?" Obi-Wan asked, finally moving to strip Quinlan and himself of their clothes.

"I don't know," Quinlan said, "I just- You told me we couldn't mess around, but I can't remember why. I figured I'd come ask you, and you weren't with Master Jinn, and I went to check the apartment, and here we are."

"Here we are." Obi-Wan murmured, shucking off his leggings and leaning over to rummage through his nightstand for lube, "Maybe I just need a good fuck. I haven't been thinking straight since Qui and I got back from the outer rim."

Quinlan laughed, "You shouldn't be thinking straight if we do this right- Ah! Ah-! Obi-Wan wait!"

It didn't take long for Quinlan to fall apart. Their coupling was short and sweet, and when they were finished, Quinlan was already dozing off. Obi-Wan wasn't nearly as tired, so he busied himself by cleaning things up and going to the fresher for a quick shower. He rested his forehead against the wall, feeling the water drip over his skin. He let his mind wander, eyes closing when his imagination got the better of him. He imagined the faceless, golden haired man, let the dream manifest and beg him for pleasure. Obi-Wan furrowed his brows, chasing the illusion and wondering what he would sound like, gasping, moaning- 

_Oh._

The force was calling him again- taunting him, rather- as if it had given him this illusion and ripped it from him mercilessly. Obi-Wan didn't linger on the thought, finishing up his shower and joining Quinlan in his bed.

In time, he'd forget the illusion.

He would forget the ghost of Anakin Skywalker.

Until...

###

_Now._

Anakin landed hard on the floor of the Archives. His eyes were still dancing with flashes of white and black light as he forced himself onto his hands and knees before sitting back on his ass and hissing in pain. Every nerve in his body reverberated with the shock of being catapulted through time and space. He heard footsteps approaching him, and he'd recognize their gait anywhere.

Obi-Wan, _his_ Obi-Wan, rounded the corner and raised his brows at the sight of his former padawan sprawled out on the floor. Anakin could see the exhaustion in his pale eyes, the streaks of grey in his neat ginger hair, the laugh lines and freckles and scars from being decades older than he was just moments ago. For a moment, Anakin was in rapture, struck by the beauty of his master. A shame he had only just come to realize it. 

"Anakin," He started and if Anakin closed his eyes he could see Obi-Wan's youthful face behind a death stick or kiss bruised lips.

"What are you doing on the floor?" 

The illusion shattered as quickly as it appeared and Anakin rubbed a hand through his hair; "Uh, research?" 

Obi-Wan scoffed, "Some fine research you're doing." he said, offering Anakin his hand to help him up.

Anakin stared at it for a long moment before accepting and having the older man pull him onto his feet. Anakin lost his balance though and fell into Obi-Wan. A lesser man might have fallen over again, but Obi-Wan was sturdy and easily took his weight, strong hands gripping Anakin's arms to hold him steady. He couldn't stop the heat the swooped low in his gut, the blush that crept up his neck and threatened to burn across his cheeks.

"Are you alright, Anakin?" Obi-Wan was asking, holding him steady, "Should I take you to the Halls of Healing? Your warm, and flushed-" 

"I'm fine, master." Anakin assured, gingerly peeling himself out of Obi-wan grip, "I'm fine." 

He wasn't fine, though. Every time Obi-Wan touched him, spoke to him, fussed over him, he was reminded of the past. He was reminded of a younger Obi-Wan laughing with him on the roof or in his room, giving him a death stick or a shot of sour liquor, teasing him because he'd cough or choke on it. The memories were sickly sweet and left him feeling empty.

Once again, Obi-Wan wasn't his.

The older Jedi was frowning at him, hugging his arms around himself; "Anakin, I'm only trying to help you." he said gently.

"I know, Obi-Wan." Anakin said.

"There are just some things you don't understand." 

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, "Where have I heard that before?"

The gesture was flippant and meaningless but it made Anakin's heart pound in his chest, suddenly gripped with the hope that Obi-Wan _knew_. That Obi-Wan _remembered_. 

But then Obi-Wan was turning away from him, casting him a weary look; "Never mind. If you don't feel well later, though, promise me that you'll go to the Halls of Healing?"

Anakin's gut twisted into knots; "Ah, I," He ducked his head, "Of course. Sorry master." 

Obi-Wan's eyes softened again, and Anakin knew it was because he couldn't stay mad at him. When Obi-Wan walked away from him, Anakin could feel the distance that he had put between them, both physically and emotionally. His reliable, kind master. Was it Qui-Gon's death that changed him? Or was it Anakin himself, thrust into his care before he could comprehend what was going on. He wondered if he had caused Obi-Wan's suffering.

Anakin felt dizzy, alone with his thoughts in the archive. He was struck by the urge to get away again, he had spent too much time in the archives with Qui-Gon and Master Windu in the past, the place was ripe with memories he wanted to forget. He wasn't meant to forget, though, he would remember everything and it would torture him, and the idea of facing Padme now.

 _Padme._

Anakin swallowed hard, making his way out of the archives. He didn't know where he was going, exactly, surrounded by the souls of Jedi he knew so much about and nothing at all. Familiar faces and places and people he wished he hadn't pushed away. It made him feel sick. He was walking on autopilot with his head hung low when he bumped into someone. He tried to mumble an apology when her presence overcame him. 

"Anakin, are you alright?" 

Anakin's eyes shot up and met the warm gaze of Depa Billaba. She was older now, the bags under her eyes more intense and her skin sicklier than he remembered, but there was no mistaking her presence. At her hip was a youngling whose name escaped him at the moment. 

"Master Billaba, I-" He shook his head, "Sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you."

Depa offered him a smile, shaking her head, "There's no need to apologize, Anakin." She pursed her lips together then, studying his face, "How strange." she murmured.

Anakin blinked at her, "What?"

She shook her head, "Nothing, I'm just imagining things. For a second, I thought you were someone else." She joked lightly, "Ah, I think the war is finally getting to me."

"Are you being deployed?" Anakin asked.

"Yes, Caleb and I are shipping out to Kaller tonight." She said, smiling brightly to the young Jedi accompanying her, "And you? I heard you split your forces and sent them to Mandalore. Master Windu was having loth cats over it in the war room. You know just how to push his buttons." 

Anakin scoffed, and for a moment he forgot himself, "I wouldn't do it if I didn't think he could handle it." 

Depa quirked her brow curiously, "I didn't know you were so fond of him." she said.

"Ah, well," Anakin dipped his head, embarrassed, "He's grown on me." 

"He does that." Depa laughed, "Your men will do well, and your padawan- I mean, Ahsoka- she's an excellent citizen. Teaching others to stand up and fight for themselves, not relying on the Jedi for everything. She's moving worlds." 

Anakin smiled, dipping his head again, "If I hear from her, I'll tell her you said that." 

They departed then, and Anakin went to stand in front of one of the windows in the temple corridor. It would be evening soon, the sky painted in shades of gold. His comm went off and he frowned, checking to see who was hailing him. 

He hadn't thought of Chancellor Palpatine since he went back in time. He was just then recalling the mission given to him by the council. 

_“Spy on him. Find out what he's up to.”_ Master Windu had said. 

Anakin sighed, looking up to the sky. He wished Obi-Wan were there. He wished he knew what he was doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan: *blissfully unaware  
> Anakin: *going THROUGH. IT.  
> Thank you for all your support! I hope you enjoyed reading :) If you would like to scream about star wars with me, you can find me on Tumblr under the same username


	18. in which it all starts coming together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kyber-Erso on tumblr and Instagram made these really awesome piece of Anakin and Young Mace Windu!   
> Get ready for a little bit of Mace's perspective. It seems the end is nye with one chapter left. May the force be with us.

Anakin had never been to Coruscant's grand opera house. He hadn't really had any reason to go, actually, but Palpatine had invited him out tonight and he was anxious to see his old friend after months of being without him. He didn't hurry his way up the stairs, though, taking his time and politely nodding to the other guests who looked his way. This was a habit he picked up from Qui-Gon. 

_"You're always on the move, Anakin."_ The Jedi master scolded after a particularly harsh sparring match, _"Slow down for once, immerse yourself in the force. You'll surprise yourself with the things you learn."_

So Anakin did slow down, buzzing the door to the chancellors private booth before entering. The chancellors assistants briefly looked his way but soon returned their attention to the opera. Anakin followed their gaze, watching the ribbons of light as they twirled around what looked like a watery orb. The music was beginning to swell. 

"Anakin, my boy, it's good to see you again." 

Anakin's attention dropped to the chancellor, who was sat comfortably in his ruffled velvet robes. Anakin offered Palpatine a smile before taking his seat next to him. 

"I'm glad to see you're alright." He said truthfully. 

Before departing from the temple, he carefully considered the current timeline of events. That morning, the Council had given him his mission to spy on Chancellor Palpatine. The day before, he and Obi-Wan had engaged the Invisible Hand where he killed Count Dooku and Grievous escaped. Tomorrow, Obi-Wan would be departing for Utapau to finish Grievous once and for all. 

"And you as well, my boy." Palpatine chortled, reclining in his chair, "I'm surprised to see you so well rested."

That's right. Anakin had been having horrible nightmares before he found the holocron and was sent back. Nightmares of Padme dying, nightmares that filled him with dread. He had confided in Palpatine about those nightmares after Master Yoda had told him to _"let go of everything he feared to lose."_ At the time, the advice had felt hollow. Now, Anakin realized that he just hadn't understood what Yoda meant. When he had been given the choice, he chose to let go. He chose to leave Obi-Wan behind on Mortis, though his love still remained. He would never forget what Obi-Wan meant to him in the past.

He understood now, and because he understood, he was no longer afraid. 

"The nightmares aren't as bad as they used to be." Anakin confessed, "I don't really have them anymore."

He felt more than saw when Palpatine's expression twisted. It was an odd feeling, especially coming from someone who was supposedly null of the force.

"Is that so?" Palpatine hummed, "It seems like only yesterday that you came to me unable to sleep."

"Maybe it was." Anakin murmured, watching the orb explode in a dazzling array of light, "I can't really remember." 

"Do you still worry about..." Palpatine glanced to his assistants before leaning over, "About Senator Amidala. You mentioned something about complications in childbirth." 

Anakin inhaled sharply. The force had lurched around him and anxiety bled into his presence. His heartrate was picking up and he knew he was fidgeting. But he hadn't been so bothered before. Was it the reality of the situation finally sinking in? Padme's seemingly inevitable death had been so far but now it could be any moment. 

"Ah," Anakin murmured, dipping his head and considering his next words.

 _"Slow down, Anakin."_ It almost felt like Qui-Gon was right there with him, giving him one final lesson

_"Think."_

When Anakin looked up, the performance was over, "All things are as the force wills them," He said at last, "And if this is the forces will, than so be it. I can't stop her from dying." 

Palpatine stared at him for a long moment, "But what if you could?" 

Anakin frowned, "What do you mean?" 

He watched as Palpatine's face contorted again, the old mans head tilting forward and his thin lips curving into a closed mouth smile. It lasted for only a moment before being washed away by an expression far more befitting of the circumstances. It was chilling, Anakin realized, how quickly the chancellors demeanor had changed.

"Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?" 

###

Obi-Wan rubbed his palms against the scruff on his cheeks before leaning down into the sink and splashing cold water over his face. It was 0300 on the mark. His 212th would be deploying in three hours, and he hadn't slept at all. Not only that, Anakin was off with the Chancellor again, which- 

He stopped, frowning at himself. _Which was good,_ he thought numbly, _they needed to keep an eye on the chancellor. Anakin was the politicians friend and therefore the one most capable of doing the job._ That didn't mean Anakin was particularly happy about the mission. Obi-Wan sighed, leaning against the vanity and staring at himself in the fresher mirror. He was getting old. He barely recognized the face that stared back at him.

Obi-Wan blinked at himself slowly, squinting at his reflection now. Rarely did the force whisper to him anymore. He hadn't heard its call since the incident on Mortis, since the apparition of his master appeared to him. For some reason, he felt like he had been on Mortis before. He was certain he heard that ancient Jedi distress signal at least once in the past. It hadn't even been a year since he and the two padawan's- technically former padawan and his former padawan's padawan- had gone to mortis, since Ahsoka died and was resurrected, since the trajectory of their lives began to spiral out of control. _Everything will be fine if we just stick together._ He must have jinxed it. He was a fool, a selfish fool, if only-

The force slanted suddenly and Obi-Wan felt the floor go out beneath his feet. He hadn't had visions like this since before he was knighted, but he recognized the feeling. He knew the drill.

This vision was different though. He wasn't helplessly watching his masters lifeless body shuddering on the floor of a reactor room. He wasn't farming on Bandomeer. He was on the roof of the Jedi temple. Sitting on the other side with his feet over the ledge was another Jedi, one wearing dark robes. Obi-Wan knew this Jedi as nothing more than a vague memory. A faceless specter that haunted him with the promise of better times.

 _"You're late, padawan."_ the person was saying, standing up from where he sat on the ledge. And then he turned.

_"I was beginning to think you weren't coming."_

A stranger with golden curls and sun kissed skin, drowsy blue eyes and a blinding smile.

Anakin. 

It couldn't be. 

###

It was 0555. Anakin was rushing down to the Jedi temples hangar bay, a flurry of dark robes and heavy footfall that echoed through the corridor. 

_So much for slowing down,_ he thought bitterly.

Anakin meant to see Obi-Wan off before he departed for Utapau. Instead he overslept his alarm after a night of restless sleep, riddled with nightmares and terrors. His mothers figure plastered with an uncanny smile, Padme calling out to him with tears staining her cheeks. Anakin wondered if the force was testing him with these visions. After what Palpatine told him yesterday, he figured that must be the case.

_"Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"_

Anakin's pace quickened.

_"I thought not."_

_"It's not a story the Jedi would tell you."_

The force pulled taut as he burst into the hangar, looking for the gunship that would take Obi-Wan up to the Negotiator. On the other side of the hangar, bathed in golden sunlight was his former master, his face glued to a datapad and no doubt doing one last run through of the itinerary. Anakin gasped shakily, forcing himself not to run as he approached.

"Master?" He called, stepping into the light. 

Obi-Wan looked up from the datapad, strands of copper and silver hair falling into his face. 

"Anakin? I didn't think I would see you today." He said, his voice rough and tired. It was then that Anakin noticed the dark circles under his masters eyes. 

Anakin cleared his throat, his face burning in shame.

"I wanted to- I didn't know when you would be coming back. I wanted to see you one last time." 

Obi-Wan furrowed his brows, his eyes flickering across Anakin's face. Anakin thought he saw recognition in those eyes and was about to question it before Obi-Wan suddenly reached out and cupped his cheek. Anakin froze in place, gaze dropping to the hand whose palm was rough and calloused from years of saber practice, but familiar none the less. 

"You've been acting strangely," Obi-Wan murmured quietly, "ever since I found you in the archive."

The touch could have been mistaken as simple, friendly endearment. But then Obi-Wan was drawing his thumb across his cheekbone the way he did in the past, and Anakin saw the constellations he would draw on Obi-Wan's cheeks as they lay tangled together. It had felt so far away but now it was right in front of him.

"Master, what are you..."

Obi-Wan suddenly pulled his hand back, seeming mortified with himself, "I'm sorry," he said, tripping over his words, "I didn't sleep well last night, I must be imagining things." 

"For a moment, I thought you were someone else." 

_No, it's me,_ Anakin wanted to scream at him, _It's me, please remember me!_

Instead he just smiled tightly, "It happens, master." he said, taking a small step back, "I shouldn't keep you. Good luck with Grievous." 

Obi-Wan blinked, stunned by Anakin's flip in demeanor, but offered him a grateful smile nonetheless, "Thank you, Anakin." he turned to board the gunship.

"And Obi-Wan-"

His master looked over his shoulder, raising his brow expectantly.

 _I love you._ "May the Force be with you." Anakin said, dipping his head in a respectful bow.

Obi-Wan watched him with what Anakin thought was a knowing look.

"And with you as well, dear one." 

The gunship departed soon after, blowing at Anakin's robes as it lifted off. Anakin turned away from the light of the launch pad and made his way back into the temple. His heart was racing and he couldn't stop thinking about Obi-Wan's gentle touch, the fondness in his voice. He stuffed those thoughts and feelings down for now. There was a message on his communicator from Padme and two from chancellor Palpatine. They both wanted to see him but Anakin wasn't ready to face Padme yet. Perhaps that was selfish of him, but he didn't know what he would do once he saw Padme, how he would feel. So instead, he agreed to meet with Palpatine. Before he left he checked Ahsoka's progress on Mandalore. The report posted by Rex stated that Maul had been captured earlier that morning, and that they would be returning to Coruscant that night. 

On his way up to the chancellors office, Anakin was reminded of his vision in the past. The vision Xanatos forced out of him. He remembered the faces of dead Jedi lining the hall and it made his stomach turn. The force was still pulled tight, it hadn't released since he saw Obi-Wan in the hangar. It felt like the universe was holding its breath. When he arrived outside the large black doors that lead into Palpatine's office, his mind became fuzzy with sensory overload. The force was crying out to him, but he couldn't make out what it was trying to say. 

The doors opened and Anakin stepped inside. The older man was looking out the window of his office, over the senate district and towards the Jedi temple.

"Anakin, my boy." He said, turning to look at the Jedi, "Something the matter?"

Anakin lifted his chin, his lips pressed tightly together. The force was screaming. It was too much, "How do you know of the Sith?" he asked, moving further into the chancellors office, "How do you know the power of the dark side?"

Palpatine smiled that uncomfortable smile, "How do you think?" he asked, stepping away from the window to pace around Anakin. They began to circle one another, Anakin not once letting his eyes leave the man.

"I'm not playing your game, chancellor." He said coldly, "Tell me. Now." 

The old man raised his brows curiously. As though he hadn't been expecting Anakin to be so standoffish, "Only through me can you surpass the Jedi. I know the dark side of the force, and I can teach it to you. It is the only way to save your wife- to save the galaxy- from certain destruction." 

"What?" Anakin spat at him, fury boiling just beneath the surface. He saw Xanatos again, the fallen Jedi with long, jet black hair and a cruel smile, standing in Palpatine's shadow. He looked triumphant. Like he had just won some sort of cosmic game. 

"Use my knowledge Anakin." 

The force was suddenly quiet.

"I beg of you." 

"You're a Sith Lord." Anakin said quietly, his hand dropped to his saber and he ignited it.

Palpatine stopped their circuit, his hands folded neatly in front of him. He seemed relaxed, despite the obvious threat of Anakin's lightsaber, cascading them in flickering blue light.

"Are you going to kill me?" Palpatine wondered out loud.

Anakin gritted his teeth, "I would certainly like to." He said, about to strike but the force yanked him back.

 _"Slow down."_

Qui-Gon. Anakin exhaled, lowering his saber, "But I won't," He said, "I'm going to turn you in to the council." 

"So you will remain their pawn?" Palpatine mused, shaking his head, "Do you even know the councils intentions?"

Once upon a time, Anakin had questioned the council. It had been the council that took him away from his mother. It was the council that forbade his love for Padme. It was the council that sent Ahsoka away. It was the council, it was the Jedi, it was _Obi-Wan._ But none of that had been true. The force was silent now as he deactivated his saber.

"I will soon discover the truth." He said, turning away from Palpatine and leaving him there. 

The chancellor only smiled, returning to gaze out the window.

###

"Mace! Master Windu!" 

Mace was making his way back from the hangar at the temple when he heard Skywalker yelling for him. The sound of the other Jedi's voice instantly sucked away whatever energy he had left. He was exhausted and didn't want to deal with Skywalker's petulant wining, especially after his episode before the council yesterday. But then, Mace paused, gripped by a sudden and odd sense of recognition and... fondness? It was a fondness he typically reserved for Depa and the conflicting feeling made his head spin a bit.

Mace stopped his walk and looked to see Skywalker rushing towards him. He took a moment to study the other Jedi's expression, noting that in spite of his rush, Skywalker didn't seem as manic as he usually did. Mace didn't doubt that it was just barely contained under the surface. He knew all about keeping things just below the surface, it was something they had in common. Not that he wanted Anakin to know that. He preferred to keep his darkness to himself.

"What is it, Knight Skywalker?" He asked, trying not to sound as tired as he felt. The only good thing that had come out of today was that Ahsoka had captured Maul. 

Despite everything, he had been proud of the fiery former Jedi. When she snapped at him, he was reminded of... someone else. It was unfortunate that she chose to leave the order. Though Master Yoda seemed convinced that she would soon return. 

_"How different, your padawan was, hm?"_ Master Yoda chortled at him on their walk through the room of a thousand fountains, _"Trained her well, young Skywalker has. Remind me of Qui-Gon, she does."_

Mace didn't think she resembled Qui-Gon. If anything, she was more like a younger Obi-Wan. He didn't doubt that she would grow into someone wise, whether she returned to the order or not. 

Skywalker finally caught up to him, and the other Jedi took a moment to compose himself and school his expression. Then, in a tone of utmost seriousness, he said something completely absurd.

"Master Windu, about my mission," He said quietly, "I believe Chancellor Palpatine is the Sith Lord."

The force was quiet before, but now it was loud. It was as if Skywalker were trying to channel everything he knew and thought he knew directly into Mace's head. 

"Are you sure?" Mace asked, stunned. He didn't think Skywalker would say such things about Palpatine, someone he knew to be a good friend of the other and even a mentor, unless he truly meant it. But even so, he pressed, "Anakin, are you absolutely sure-"

"Do you trust me, Mace?" 

Mace furrowed his brows, pressing his lips together. _Did he trust Anakin?_ He could feel the gravity of the question as if it were a physical thing that he could grab. Skywalker sounded so desperate, like he was begging for someone- anyone- to believe him. To see him.

For some reason, the force supplemented Mace with a memory. He was brought back to the time when Depa fell to the dark side, all those years ago, but there was the ghost of someone else there with him. Someone who sat with him, and mourned with him, and understood him, but Mace couldn't remember who. Skywalker reminded him of the impression that person left. Someone thoughtful and foreboding. Full of so much life and love and darkness. 

"I do." He said finally, folding his arms over his chest, "I do, force help me, Skywalker- but trust goes both ways." He looked to the younger Jedi cautiously, "And I have to know that you trust me as well." 

Mace couldn't describe the relief that flashed across Anakin's face. 

"Master Windu," He said dipping his head in what could have been exhaustion but Mace chose to believe was respect.

"I would trust you with my life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin: *the woman screaming*  
> The force: *the woman holding her back*  
> Mace/Obi-Wan/Depa: *the cat*  
> Thank you all for your support, if you like you can find me on tumblr under the same username!


End file.
